my gf ended it?

Question

met up with her tonight and she said that she doesnt have feelings for me no more and that she doesnt want me as a BF-

she said theres nothing rong with me just her feelings has just changed. yet I will say I was shocked to hear her say it as I never saw it coming.
She said shes been feeling like it towards me now for about 3 months though has kept it quite as she thought it would be ok.

Now i dunno how Im feeling. Im very hurt/angry/upset. Meen Ive been with this girl 2 years and suddenly without warning its over. Whats worse is she said for the past 3 months she hasnt really wanted to be with me, so all over x-mas it was a front. My bday has just gone so the present I got from the girl who I thought loved me...in fact didnt have any feelins for me. she kept saying sorry to me. she said she will never feel about me how she once did :(

Is it possible for someone to just switch off?

I know they its hard coming to terms with it....I just cant get her out my head. :(

update

well been thinking and talk it over with famiyl friends. starting to think there was someone else. she told me that when we would be together she would at times rather be on her own and didnt want me there.

Yet thinking about it and talknig ti over with other people. I realised all those times it was her who asked me to come over?

I think its either she has met someone else or her friends and an influence- as they have never like me.

Thanks for the helpfull replys. much appreicated

Answer 1

Yes but you can bet it didn't happen overnight. There were probably lots of small things that built up into something larger. It may just mean that the two of you are heading in different directions. Whatever she's had a problem for a few months and tried to work them out but couldn't. It's better to break it off now that find out later. If you didn't know it was coming, then either the two of you didn't talk about things or you really weren't into her as much as she needed. Can't say, wasn't there. It always hurts when you lose someone you care about. Just get busy, keep your mind occupied with other things, go out with friends and have some laughs. It takes a bit but you'll feel better and meet someone else. Let this go so that you don't carry baggage from it into your next relationship. You will love many times in your life.

Answer 2

I am sorry for you and you have every right to be hurt and upset.

But I am going to try my best to explain why she did what she did.

If she was so apologetic, then I think she really did wait for months before ending it. I'd say she waited for the Christmas and your birthday so she wouldn't spoil them for you. If she gave you a lovely birthday present, this means it was probably a "goodbye present", something to remember her by.
All of this suggests you mean a lot to her.

It is possible that her feelings have changed. Eventhough she cares about you, she doesn't have any romantic feelings for you anymore. She also gave it another try by remaining in the relationship for 3 months after she began feeling that way, so she did make an effort.
However, if she is unhappy (and this is not necessarily your fault), then it is best for you both to end the relationship. Otherwise she would be more and more unhappy, you'd start to argue etc...

Do not resent her. Try to emain friends with her, she sounds like lovely girl. Give it some time before you see her again, though, or it will hurt too much to see her.

I understand your pain. It will take some time before it goes away. Do not try to "drink it away" or have meaningless one night stands to forget your girl, it won't really work. Spend more time with your friends so you fill the time you'd have spent with her.

An end of any relationship is an importaint change in your life. Acknowledge that. So try and change something else in your life, too. Take up a new activity, change your hairstyle, find a new "local pub"... By doing so, you won't be "exactly the same person" as you were when you were with her. Fill your time with activities, spend time in company of others, not alone. This will make you miss her less.

There is also a slight possibility you'll end up back together sometime in the future. Don't think about that just now. Do your best to live a full life without her. It will give you a fresh perspective.

I wish you all the best!

Answer 3

This is exactly what happened to me last year. I'm really sorry I understand exactly how you feel. Lucky for me I was able to get away for a couple of weeks. But if you cant do that then just chill out as much as possible.

I really dont want to upset you but do not be surprised if it comes out that there is someone else, or a possible someone else. It will hurt like hell and you will get all bitter and angry and drink alot and probably do things that you normally wouldnt do, but trust me, everyone does it when they break up.

You will have the best of times and the worst of times over the next 6 months, but trust me things will get so much better, I promise you things do get better.

Answer 4

Hi

I do not want to hurt your feelings more now. OK lets us face it the other way round. Had you known that she has been cheating you since three months - how would you have accepted it? I think that she must have mustered all her courage to finally be able to tell you what she is feeling. One day you think you have known somebody well since two years and all of a sudden you get a cold bath when she comes along and say OK its finish we no longer understand each other. You must accept her decision but at least you must clarify misunderstandings in your past relations with her. Meet her one final time and ask her where you have failed - where you are to be blamed or else ask her straight away is there any new bf in the play?

Only then you will be able to sort out the next part in this particular relationship.

Answer 5

Stop going over every event of the past three months and analyzing it to pieces. That will only make you feel worse. Yes, people's feelings can change, and no, they do not normally change overnight. But your girlfriend did take three months to make sure that her loss of feeling for you was more than a passing phase. As soon as she was sure, she was honest with you and told you. I know you're upset right now, but really, when you look at it from an objective point of view, she did the right thing by you. She didn't go behind your back and cheat on you, she didn't start acting like a b1tch so you'd eventually break up with her, and those are all things people tend to do when their feelings for their present partner have changed. So give her credit for her honesty, at least, and move on.

Answer 6

It seems your girlfriend was so mean towards you, although relationships may come to an end, at least she should have talked about the errors within you which she didn't tolerate. Anyway, it's all water under the bridge, try and move on and show her you can hold fort on your own. At least be happy that she has broken the relationship as she was faking her love for you all along. Don't rush into getting into another relationship, just enjoy your new found freedom for the time being.

Answer 7

It happens to all of us at some point. Unfortunately she couldn't get up the courage to end it when she first felt that way. That just makes you feel worse, but even though that was selfish of her, she obviously felt bad about hurting your feelings. At least she finally did tell you though and it sounds like she was at least honest with you. There are worse ways to be dumped. Just keep yourself as busy as possible with things that will keep your mind occupied. (Something positive like exercising or volunteering or working) After a while you'll feel much better. And don't try to figure out what went wrong, sometimes people just fall out of love. It's nothing you can control, so don't let it bother you, it's not your fault.

Answer 8

People change over time, and if one person doesn't change enough or changes too much, then the feelings their partner has for them, may diminish, or completely vanish. I had that happen to me once, three years ago my ex turned round and told me he didnt want me to be is girl anymore, that his feeligs towards me had changed.
Its mainly a case of growing apart without realising it, when that happens you realise that yes you had good times together, but now its time to move on. Because there are more people out there, and their feelings of love will stay with you.
Its understandable to feel hurt and angry, because if someone stops feeling that way towards you, you expect them to say straight away rather than hide it until they feel that they are 'ready' to tell you. But in a way it shows a certain amount of feeling there, she didnt want to hurt you at the time, because she thought that maybe it was just a phase and that the love she felt would return.
So really she didn't emotionally switch off in terms of her feelings for you, she gradually changed in terms of what she felt, going from romantic love of you to feelings of wanting to just be a friend.
I hope you can come to terms with this over time, because time is what it takes. But it does help to think, there are other women out there, and one is bound to be the one for you, the one who will always love you and never want to lose you :)! Good luck!

Answer 9

Yes it can happen , maybe She realized 3 months a go, but were little things that make her come to that. Of course its not ur fault, persons sometimes grow apart with out knowing how. Think about school friends you were really close and one day you were hanging with different persons. I understand you feeling hurt and pissed but time will fix things and one day you will just be with other person. You dont want to hear yes , it all will be over and you will recover etc.. but its true .. When?? i can assure you that depends only on you in letting things out and in giving second chances.. time will show.

Answer 10

Hey man life is a long journey.Forgive n forget her.In todays world relations don't last long to expectations.
The human imagination,temptation & ambition changes with the time.So it is in interest of both of u to forgive n forget.
Have a nice time.