I am 37 weeks pregnant, and my mom was staying with us(husband and daughter). I went out of my way to enertain her, even though I am dead tired. She kind of made me feel like she couldn't wait to leave, she was upset that my daughter and I have to be a little quieter during the day for my husband who works nights-even going so far as to call me his live in maid! She further insulted my husband to me thoughout the visit.
And then, to top it all off.....at 1 am this morning I find that she has invited people into my home(relatives I do not know well and had no knowledge they were even headed to my area), woke me up from a deep slumber with loud talking(and disturbance at unfamiliar voices in my home), and that she had planned to enertain them until my daughter was ready to get up for school. Not only that....they gave me the impression I was interrupting THEM...in my own house!
I was floored by what I perceive to be extremely rude behaviour.
Am I being too sensitive and/or hormonal?
2007-02-04 21:54:38 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hi there. No, you are not being too sensitive or hormonal. Your mother is being incredibily insensitive and not very considerate at all. I would remind her that you need you sleep at this late stage of your pregancy and 1am guests, no matter who, are not welcome.
Secondly, I would be very firm with her on the criticising of your husband and family in general. It is your house and home, if she does not appreciate the way it runs then she does not have to stay for long periods. I think sometimes mums can convince themshelves that constant critisim is 'advice' and that they are doing you some kinda favour. I would make it very very clear that i will not tolerate this. Next time she says something you find hurtful, just say to her that it is not up for discussion and cut the conversation. Be firm but polite. Make it crystal clear that critism of your family or the way you run you house will not be entertained by you.
To be honest, the bringing home of the guests sounded like a bit of a test to see if you really are the walkover she thinks you are with your husband. Whatever you and your husbands relationship is, it is frankly none of her business. If nothing good can be said, then ask her to say nothing at all... when you want her advice you will ask for it.
This is a time you should be looking after you and your baby. Not tippy toeing around others and their opionons. Be gentle but firm. No arguements allowed.
Best of luck with the birth and arrival of your little one and take care.
2007-02-04 22:36:42 · answer #1 · answered by madgal 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not being to sensitive or hormonal, your mothers behavour was rude. When someone lets you stay with them you should follow their house rules. You also dont invite other people over, that is just wrong. If she couldnt wait to leave why did she stay with you in the first place? I wouldnt let her stay with you anymore, if she is coming for a visit offer to pay a hotel room for her. The next time she calls you a live in maid tell her you are a full time mother and work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If I ever stay with someone I always follow their rules, I also pitch in with the housework and do what I can to help the person i am staying with. I would never invite someone over either. So no you are not being too sensitive or hormonal. your mother was rude.
2007-02-04 22:36:03 · answer #2 · answered by helen 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy, you're mom is a doozy. Has she always behaved like this? You grew up in her house and were expected to follow her rules. Now she's in your home, and you must tell her that you expect her to follow your rules. If she can't, then she doesn't need to stay with you and your family during her visits. She doesn't hesitate to tell you what she's thinking or how she feels. You should feel free to do the same. I'm surprised you or your husband put up with this. This is your home. You're mom was way out of line here, and I would tell her so. If she can't support your way of life, and your rules for the house, then she need not bother to come for a visit. You really don't need this. If you can't do that to her face, then write her a letter. BTW, this is not a hormonal thing and you're not being sensitive. If this is how she's going to act, then don't let her around your children. You don't want them to grow up and think is okay to put up with this type of attitude. Congratulations on the new baby, and good luck with your mom.
2007-02-09 03:48:42 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not being too sensitive. If anything I think your "guests" have over-extended themselves and their visit. Since you are pregnant, you need your rest, too! I all too well understand the rest your husband needs since I work nights as well. I would serve some coffee and cookies, sit them down at the dinner table, and tell them your ground rules. If they can't abide by them, tell them they have a week to hit the road. Also tell them you don't want guests in the home, especially anyone you don't know. (You may have to check for any missing ashtrays, if you know what I mean...) And for Heaven's sake, don't leave any loose change on any tables! They will either be so disgusted with your "rules and regulations" that they will want to leave as soon as possible or they will have to abide by them whether they like it or not. You take control. It's you and your husband's home!
2007-02-04 22:04:33 · answer #4 · answered by gone 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are certainly being sensitive and hormal but after all your pregnant and its your Mother doing all of this to you. A Mom isnt supposed to act like that. I can only hope she has moved on and for your sake think twice about having her back any time soon. Its your home and she should respect it or not bother coming to visit. Tell her how you feel. Your not gonna be the loser here. Congradulations on the new addition.
2007-02-12 01:41:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to stand up for yourself and your husband. Your mother will walk all over you as long as you allow it. Whenever she insults you or your husband immediately stop her and let her know that you will listen to her when she talks ugly and walk away. If she continues, I would politely tell her she needs to leave since she is being disrespectful. Also, who in the world invites people over to someone elses house in the middle of the night. Tell her that if she wants to have guests over, then she needs to check with you first and that it is not appropriate to have people over late in the evening. This is too much stress for someone who is about to have a baby. Sometimes parents want to be there when a new grandchild comes into a family, but if it's too stressful and not very helpful, then you need to take care of your family and let them know that now isn't a good time. Let them know you appreciate their offer, but you need to adjust to your new addition. You'll let them know when it's a good time to come for a visit. It's hard to do, but you have to set boundaries now. Do what is best for your family. Be strong. Good Luck!
2007-02-05 01:05:53 · answer #6 · answered by Kimmi 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No way r u being rude in anyway. First this is your home if you can not feel comfortable in your own home something is wrong or someone needs to GO! Your mother of all people should realize what you are going through at this time but obviosly she is just like my mother and has no concern for your feelings just hers. She is the one being rude and out of line.
2007-02-12 08:43:12 · answer #7 · answered by Tonya B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG i would have kicked them all out right there i have been there only it was my husbands brother and he invited his Friends over at 3 am i was prag any my 2 y/o daughter was sleeping i kicked them out and when they refused to leave i called the cops and had them all removed from my house
you have to think about your family the ones you live with day to day your child and your husband
your mother is being rude and disrespect full of you by putting your husband down and walking all over you keep your ground tell her where her place is in yours and your husbands home and if she cant live by your rules get out
2007-02-04 22:02:15 · answer #8 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your home is your sanctuary not hers. If she can't be respectful of your family politely ask her to leave. Getting yourself upset 3 weeks before your baby is due can be harmful, not to mention bringing people into your home may compromise the safety of your child. It's YOUR home. Set the rules and don't feel bad about tossing out the things that don't fit. Your happiness is more important than anyone who is a GUEST.
2007-02-11 15:46:54 · answer #9 · answered by #1 saints fan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not being too sensitive - they have invaded your personal space and it's totally time to put your foot down. I've gone nuts at relatives before, and you know what? I've always been forgiven if I've done it while pregnant because they just blame the hormones, nod sympathetically and think they're humoring me by giving me what I want, and everyone's happy! So start asserting your position as Queen of your Household.
2007-02-04 22:38:37 · answer #10 · answered by RIffRaffMama 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋