I love my elder sister very much. I have supported her in her hard days unconditionally. Always giving the support she needed. she went to abroad for two years and after coming back the mentalility isnt matching. now I am going through tough days but though she wants me to help I cant find peace in my heart anymore from her. now a days she wants to get married. but I am jealous. I am just feeling that i have sacrificed so much for her. but she just dont cares about me and after marriage she will be happy and busy with her family and will further ignore me. though still she gives me importance in her life I cant find that loving support anymore from her. plus one sick thing is that I cant just imagine her having sex with a guy. It is just making me sick. I know I am behaving idiotic but cant manage myself to accept it. for example after she comes from a dating I just hate her. please help me to get out of this sick mentality. I still love her and want to behave normal.
2007-02-04 20:55:44 · 15 answers · asked by SSA 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you really love her, you want her to be happy. Are you going to stand in the way of that?
It's normal for you to feel protective of her, but you need to remember that you also have to let her live her life, too. She's not on this planet to make YOU happy.
2007-02-04 20:59:21 · answer #1 · answered by tony1athome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to be away from her. Go somewhere, get out of the house or do something for yourself; anything to get your mind off her. You are too wrapped up in her affairs and it's messing up your mind. Maybe it's a good idea that she gets married so she will be away from you. It's one thing to be jealous but your preoccupation of dwelling on her sex life is way out there. Your love has turned obsessive, bordering on a psychological perversion. You're acting like a love sick puppy instead of a blood relative. Try finding a boyfriend and start dating. What ever happened between you two in the past is over and done so let it go. It's very nice of you that you helped her and all, but were you actually expecting some kind of reward? What kind of "loving support" were you looking for anyway? You need to get yourself a life of your own and quit this morbid obsession about how she might end up living her life; and with some guy of all people. It's not necessary for you to read so much into what may or may not happen. The only possibility of maybe getting out of this "sick mentality" would be for you to stop helping her and start helping yourself. Quit being so accesible for her. She's older than you so start accepting the fact that she is going to want to have a life seperate from yours. There is no reason why you can't have one either. This has turned into a hard case of familiarity breeds contempt. Your jealousy and resentment has turned into outright anger and rage; hatred so strong you can't stand the possibility that she will be apart from your life again; let alone want to be. She left once; and was gone for two years. What were you doing for all that time? You certainly found some way to manage, didn't you? So she is about to leave again. Now is the time to consider filling this void with a different importance; something, or someone, that is not centered around your sister.
2007-02-04 22:27:22 · answer #2 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been where you are-my younger sister got married before I did to a guy she had known for 7 months, dated for 3, and cheated on once. At that point I had been with my boyfriend (now my husband) for 4 years and had an almost-3 year old together. The thing is, just because your sister is jumping into something doesn't mean that you need to. Take comfort in the fact that you are being *smart*, taking your relationship at a slow and steady pace,and making sure that you are ready for a lifetime of committment before jumping in. Your marriage is much more likely to succeed than the marriage of two young people who barely know eachother. I know it's hard, but try not to freak out-and especially try not to freak out on your boyfriend! Things will work out for you in your own relationship whenever you and your boyfriend are ready and your sister will have to suffer the consequences of her foolish mistake.
2016-05-24 17:34:22 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u admitted that the way u act is not normal... Well, it's the first step. I know that it's very hard to get seperated from the one u love especially if it's the sister u spent all the good and bad memories with but it's life. You have to go out with other people. Try to find a group to hang out with not necessarily a boyfriend. You have to be feel independent from ur sis coz as I see u have this sick connection that should no longer exists between you coz sisters can't marry after all. You should get used to the idea that she'll leave you so go out sometimes with her and her boyfriend so u see them toghether. Ur sister's happiness is with her man and yours is with your man too and not with each other both of u... Wish u the best of luck coz it's not easy what u feel
2007-02-04 21:22:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Em..I suppose you need some comfort at this point from a friend. The best person to console and comfort you is man. A boyfriend can ease you tension right now.
I understand your feeling well. There's nothing we could do but to vent your anger in a proper way. Have some outings with guys and may brighten your day!
2007-02-05 03:22:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old r u? I went through the same feelings when my older sister was getting married... not the sex part, but the part where I felt jealous that I won't be the center of her attention anymore... did I mention I was 8 years old???
2007-02-04 21:05:45 · answer #6 · answered by Shelley S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think the best is, go see a doctor and see what he/she can do for u. It's something that u need to let go and try not thinking that everything will be bad...it's all in ur mind...by thinking it in a negative way, that's why ur mad at her...think of the good part n be positive abt it..since she loves u too. All the best!
2007-02-04 21:00:39 · answer #7 · answered by DooGie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get a life. I really mean that. your negativity towards ypor sister is because u have made her your life and u wish whatever she does should be only around u. Occupy yourself with somthing worthile and focus your energies onto that. Try to see a therapist for support.
U are a big girl and u can make it.
2007-02-04 21:15:29 · answer #8 · answered by LadyK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't guess from your question whether you are a brother or a sister. Either way, you know yourself that your attachment to your sister is unhealthy, if not obsessive. And selfish and unfair.
Make an effort to find friends and interests not connected to your sister.....and let her go. Find your own life and let her live hers.
2007-02-04 21:02:13 · answer #9 · answered by lou b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you really love your sis very much, you should give her your blessing that she can find a good husband in her life. You shouldn't live in a world of hatre coz it is very tiring. You should learn to accept all the facts that one have in their life.
2007-02-04 22:02:32 · answer #10 · answered by Clown & Joker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋