Im 29 years old now. When I was 19 i got into a very destructive relationship which lasted for 5 years. I really loved him and i thought he loved me but he was very controlling and made me think i couldnt do anything for myself. Ive always been quite quiet and i was very influenced by other people then and I thought everything he said was right so I believed I wasnt worth anything. I eventually got out of this relationship only to get in another destructive one this time with an older man who treated me like dirt and liked the fact that I had no self esteem. I was more like a trophy to him. I split with him in the end and ive done a lot of growing up since. Ive come to realise that people like that would always be attracted to the sort of person i was, i was weak. even though i think differently now and would never get in a relationship like that again, I have no self confidence, I hate myself and the way i look and my self esteem is nil. What can i do to improve things?
2007-02-04 20:30:51 · 6 answers · asked by jackie t 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You need to take some time away from relationships and discover the 'real' you. How you're feeling now about yourself is a result of how these men have treated you over the years. Concentrate on yourself, treat yourself, learn to be comfortable with the silence within yourself, discover new interests and resdicover things that you haven't done for years. Forget men for now, and be with your women friends, who can support you and love you unconditionally. Build up your reserves of self confidence until you feel ready to approach the dating game again, and next time, choose wisely! Good luck.
2007-02-04 20:36:44 · answer #1 · answered by Roxy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The other ladies have given really good answers so I only have a little to add .
Go get your hair done . And buy some new clothes that sit well on you . You could do it over a period of a few weeks to spread the cost out .
If when you look in the mirror you like what you see then thats an easy start even if it is only external trapping .
2007-02-04 21:01:19 · answer #2 · answered by maidenguenivere 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
all of the above answers are good . I think allot of people have been in destructive relationships one time or another myself included what i learnt is you have to learn to love & respect yourself before you can except love & respect from others only when you do this will you break the pattern of the type of person you feel attracted to good luck & love yourself first x
2007-02-08 20:08:02 · answer #3 · answered by lisa w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm councelling would.nt go astray. i dont mean this in a bad way as it does help, and if your embarresed just keep it a secret or you could go on a holiday that always makes me feel better.,and surround yourself with nice people, playing sport can also realease anger or any locked up problems but then so can finding a great new man and getting a make over, ok i'll stop now im going crazy i hope one of my things will help. GOOD LUCK
2007-02-04 20:37:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree whole heartedly with Roxy. Enjoy being by yourself for a while and you will find that you enjoy the freedom. You will learn self-respect by being self-reliant and self-sufficient. You will also have a bloomin good time simply by living by your own rules for a while. Make the most of this opportunity.
2007-02-04 20:43:07 · answer #5 · answered by Rachael H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you should invest alot of time and energy in yourself. re-discover how beautiful you are by doing things you enjoy most, wearing what you want....just do anything that will free you from the person your last relationship made you.
2007-02-04 21:37:56 · answer #6 · answered by therna 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋