How to tell my grandmother no?

Question

I just moved into a new appartment last month, and my mom is going to make curtains for me (as she says the pull down shade is to plain). Then my grandmother came to visit and decided that She wanted to make curtains for me. I told her that I thought my mother was going to do so, but (as usual) didn't hear that. Now she's insisting that she come back down to measure for the curtains. I don't want to hurt her feelings but my mom and I already have material picked out. I"m 21 but she treats me like I'm still 5 and don't know what's best for me.

How do I tell her that I don't need her to make curtains w/o hurting her feelings to much? This kind of thing has happened before and she always acts like she's been slighted hugely then gets all huffy for the next few months or blames my mom entirely (they don't get along to well to put it nicely).

Answer 1

since you say your grandmother doesn't stay at your place...does she call earlier to say if she's coming over? just let the old lady do whatever she wants.. she'll feel better for it that she's making some curtains for you. you can't do anything about their not getting along though.

let your mom make the curtains too. but tell her that grandmother is already doing it. just to let her know. either she'll let grandmother have your curtains made or she'll do it herself, since you said she already have the material picked out.

so i have an idea. whoever makes the first curtains, that's the one you'll put up first.

and since grandmother is just visiting a few times, you may put up grandmom's a day before she comes to visit. that way, you won't be hurting her feelings over trivial matters such as curtains.

at least you'll have two curtains which you can use interchangeably when the other is at the cleaners.

i know you wouldn't purposely want to hurt either of them so i think this suggestion puts up to it. or you may work something on your own from this idea.

good luck!

Answer 2

You must take charge and let her know that you must make your decisions. Tell her thanks but no thanks. Is there any other task that you can assign to her? Maybe instead of telling her "No" to the curtains, ask if she would help with a different need instead. Some parents and grandparents do not know when to let go. As a grandma, I want to have honest with my grandchildren so nobody feelings get hurt. She loves you and wants to be a big part of your life. Ya gotta love her for her love for you. Good luck

Answer 3

Don't be too hard on Grandma ... she only wants to feel needed, that there is still purpose in her life.

Just tell her your curtains have been taken care of ... but, you could really use some help to make a set of curtains for another room. Maybe also ask her for a recipe or two, and some advice on another matter. That way ... she'll feel that she really is needed. She'll be excited that she's got a few things to do. :)

Answer 4

Give her another task. Tell her, "You know grandma, mom's got the curtains, but I really need an apron and ... you know mom, she'll do it up too frilly... can you make that instead?" She just wants to contribute and not be forgotten.

Answer 5

Well unfortunately, you're just gonna have to tell her no you're not coming over and mom's making the curtains. Tell her you already have the material. etc..... Too bad your gma has to get all huffy and puffy. :( n

Answer 6

Ask her for something different which requires more efforts/time in that way she will have to forego the curtains

Answer 7

FIND something else 4 her to do. TELL her you have that covered but could you make matching pillows and arm rest covers to match? THAt would be so cool grandma. MY house would look like a movie stars house.

Answer 8

say "grandma, could ou listen for a secon? mom already had the material picked out, but you could help me with making (make up something like a blanket or throw pillows)."

Answer 9

She sounds like someone who has to have her own way and then blames someone else when she doesnt. Its a manipulation and she knows exactly what she is doing. She did hear what you said but she enjoys causing others distress. It sounds to me like she doesnt like your mother and this is how she gets at her. Shes a bully. You can view her as some little old lady if you want but she knows exactly what shes doing.

Answer 10

push her down the stairs