How do I get my 7 year old to sleep in his own bed?

Question

My 7 year old autistic boy sleeps with me and my husband and have been for almost a year. He cries when we want to put him in his own bed and says he's scared to be alone. We've taken turns to lie with him in his bed until his asleep but 10min after we go to our own bed he comes running through crying. We've tried to make his bedtime routine as calm and consistent as possible but it doesn't seem to work. Is this just a phase and should we wait it out or what other suggestions do you have? We are getting quite desperate and obviously worried.

Answer 1

Well, first off.. your son is spoiled and you have every right to do just that... but then there are the times you need to be by yourselves too.

He is at an age where he can grow up and stop crying to get his way... he is in school and is a little man who has a job.. that job is to go to school and get good grades.. to do this he needs a good nights sleep.

Have you tried "trade=offs" with him?

My son loved me to draw pictures and/OR the alphabet on his back.. so as he layed in bed after he was tucked in.. I would draw picturess or spell out his spelling words by drawing them on his back... it would relax him and then he would sleep...

With my girls it was singing songs together before going to sleep. The old reading stories to them as they are tucked in still works too.

You need to work on making going to bed in his bed much more rewarding than sleeping in yours.

GOOD LUCK HON

Answer 2

It's the autistic part that I don't know much about. How much does he understand you. Since this has just been happening the last year, does that mean that before that he was sleeping fine?

I can tell you what I know children sometimes do. If they discover they can control things, they will continue to use it. So I can suggest some things....otherwise, since he is autistic, perhaps you can get some professional help.

Some children respond to choices....you can sleep here or there...(but not with you)? Or put a bed on the floor in your room.....for awhile....would that help at all?

Or put on music while he is asleep? and why does he wake up so quickly? Why isn't he sleeping? Can you communicate with him?

Sometimes diet can affect sleep patterns. Obviously you have to find an answer that works and be sure that he isn't just using it to get his way.....so ask people who have worked with autistic children....

Another suggestion is make a pact (if he can understand)...that when he gets enough points...he gets to go to Disneyland...or some reward he really wants to do...but he has to earn it first by going to bed the way he is supposed to....you never know, it might work.

Answer 3

It may help to get a night light or a pet to stay in the room or something that will make the room seem less scary. It may not be that he is afraid of being alone maybe just the room in general maybe try to move him into a new room or even let him sleep with the light on so he sees there is nothing to be afraid of. If possible, depending on how your home is try to get a room that is across from him or beside him this way he will still feel close by. It may help. Hope it helps

Answer 4

My 5 year old slept with me till he was 4 and it was ok with us both 'cos we had no daddy and needed each other greatly. But when I started to realise it was bad for a boy.
So we tried a lot of things - it didn't work.
Then I had to leave him with my mom for some months - he slept with my parents and then mom FOUND A WAY.
She told him that when three people sleep together it's not comfortable - not enough space to move around. She explained him that when he's alone he can put his arms and legs wherever he likes - some freedom!
And IT WORKED!
Now he gets angry when somebody supposes sleeping with him.

Answer 5

Have you tried putting him to bed in your bed without you, then when it's time for your husband and you to go to bed moving your son to his bed?

Go to the store and let him pick out a fuzzy blanket for him to sleep with at night. Pick out a nice nightlight for him for his own room. This may cost a bit, but buy decorations or paint his room to his favorite cartoon character, and make his bed up in a way that he'll want to sleep in it...

put large hooks in the cieling that will hang curtain rods on either side of his bed... this can get expensive, but try to pick inexpensive netting or fabric corresponding or contrasting colour or print to match the room and drape it from these rods so that the ends of the material hang on either side of the bed, and hang in between the rods ( you get material hanging a bit in a swag when lying down on the bed) did I explain that right?

try putting sachets of lavender ( if he's not allergic) inside his pillow case, or use lavender lotion before he goes to bed to calm and soothe him. ( A teddy bear with a wind up music box sewn into it can help)


Play some soothing music lightly in the background as he goes to sleep... try laying him in bed, and both of you try doing shadow puppets on the wall to show him shadows are not scary.

My daughter "reads" books before going to bed, it tires her out just looking at pictures and she yells " I am done" and I find she is more readily to go to sleep on her own. ( and falls asleep quicker by doing this)

limit the amount of food before bed time, omit snack time at bed time, but if you need to make it light... a small cup of grapes... a few slices of apple don't want to give them too much energy before bed...

what about a warm bath before bed?
Consistancy is the key and baby steps... gently ease him into a new routine... too much at once can be quite challenging...
keep consistant with something for about a week or two... kids like to get thier way and they may try and try until you give in... they will whine and cry and demand and beg 30 times if they know on the 31 whine or tantrum mom and dad give in.

Hope this helps.

Answer 6

You gota just let him. I slept with my mom till I was 9 and it was the most comforting thing in the whole world. dont worry hell be a teen before you know it. And just think of all the nightmares he hasnt been having.

Answer 7

Ask him what he's afraid of-(when I was a child my mom would read books to me in bed every night.)-I can't remember if she did cause I was afraid but I remember "the boogie man" as a kid. I think she'd say "get in bed or the boogie man will get you!"