My girlfriend and I are both virgins but we both are planning on having sex.?

Question

Both my girlfriend and i are virgins but we are planning on having sex. I've been a bit curious and concerned about both our health. I've heard of "popping a girls Cherry" sorry i dont mean to be rude or vulgar if i seem that way but i am very concerned about this. I believe that has to do with the girl bleeding after penetration but i dont understand the whole concept. I was wondering if any girls or guys could let me know what happens and if it hurts either person. I really dont want to hurt her in any way. i would also like to get her an orgasim before anything so if anyone knows the best way for me to have her reach her peek i really appreciate it if you could let me know. If there is to much to write or you want to keep it private i wouldnt mind giving my e-mail address or instant messenger so we could talk. Thank you and again i ment no harm in this letter.

Answer 1

(By the way, I am a doctor, so hopefully Y!Answers folks won't remove my answer because of content.)

You sound sincere. I have a long answer, but you have a long question. I will address each part in turn.

O.K. the first thing you have to ask is "should you have sex yet." Your screen name is "young boy". How old are you? I'm betting your not even 17 yet, much less 21.

I personally would not advise having sex until you are old enough to deal with the possibility of pregnancy. (That's at least 18, or older, if you still depend on your parents for income.)
In addition, since you mention not wanting to hurt her, pregnancy hurts. Abortion is not much better either.

Also, while a teenager may be physically able to have sex, the emotional repercussions can be huge. Especially if it is your first time. This is particularly true for girls. So please, please, make sure she isn't doing this because she feels she has to. The same goes for you, by the way. Many boys and men feel that being a virgin is a bad thing and that if they don't lose it they are not a true man. This is far from the truth.

Also, it is possible to stay a virgin until marriage. In fact, your future spouse (who may or may not be your present girlfriend), would appreciate it. You never have to be worried about being compared to someone. You never have emotional baggage of a past intimate relationship. So if you can hold out, it strengthens your future marriage. (Unless you have a wedding date planned, don't assume she is the one. Very few people marry their high school or even college girlfriend.)

Now, enough lecture. Let me answer your questions.

"Popping the cherry" medically is based on the following. Women have a piece of tissue around the edge of the vagina called the "hymen." (Look it up on wikipedia to learn more.) Basically, when a woman first has sex, it gets torn away and causes bleeding. It is not a lot of bleeding, but it is noticeable and it does hurt. In history, people used this bleeding as proof of virginity in a woman and a sign of a marriage being consummated.

Does it hurt? Yes it does and it may inhibit her pleasure. Or, to be honest, it may not. But, it is quite uncomfortable at the time. Sometimes, the next day she may feel pain similar to menstrual cramps.

Now about orgasms. First, let me say, that everything you read about or heard about other people's first time is probably exaggerated.
If it is the first time, she may not have one. Nor might you. Or you might, but too fast. Anxiety and excitement can do either to guys.
The point is, the first time is really awkward, and the chances are it will go nothing like the movies.
Now in the context of a long term relationship, it is worth it. You can work out the kinks with each other and it does become better and better. But again, this is the big advantage to marriage here- you are locking in on a long term deal, and assuring you will have time to perfect this with the other person. (I know, as I have been married for many years.)

About peaks, I doubt Y!Answers will let me talk in detail, so I will give you one clue: I find it surprising how many grown men when it comes to anatomy, know all about the vagina, but don't know the word "clitoris." Look it up on wikipedia, if you don't. Also, women vocalize in a variety of way, again different from the movies. So don't be surprised.

Finally, some pointers about protection.
Nature has made it such that women want sex the most when they are most likely to get pregnant. (That's not sexist, it's just the way nature made it to propagate the species.)
Therefore, YOU MUST USE BIRTH CONTROL OF SOME TYPE. The so called "rhythm method" doesn't work. Either she should get the pill from her doctor. (She needs to take at least one cycle's worth before it is effective) or you should use a condom and spermacide. Condoms with spermacide included are not as good as if you buy spermacide separately and use them together. Concerning condoms, I remember, in college the health-ed people made us practice putting them on cucumbers, so we knew how to use them. (It might be a good idea to try this privately, before you have to use it in practice.) They go on only one way. So, if you start to put it on the other way, trash that one, and get another. Also, leave a little room at the top for the sperm to collect.
Also, do not use petroleum jelly as a lubricant- it breaks down the latex in condoms, and make them less effective. There is a product called KY-its water based, use that.

For you two I would suggest you consider using both condoms with spermacide and birth control pills together.

That said, since it is your first time. You both should talk to your doctors about it. Your doctors have to keep your privacy and can not tell your parents. The exception being in the event of danger (like you were dating a pedophile), and in some states abortion.

Anyway, you sound like a decent guy. I hope that helps. Seriously, though, I don't mean to nag, but you sound a bit young. I know you two might be getting a lot of pressure, or feel that it is the thing you should do. But, honesty, there are many good reasons to wait a long while before having sex.

I still say, consider waiting until marriage. But even, if you don't buy the whole "no sex until marriage thing." There is no real reason to rush, and a lot can go wrong, so approach this carefully. I would suggest the following plan if you still plan on it.

First, go to your doctors. You should get some more sex education. Learn how to use a condom and spermacide. She should go to her doctor. She should get a gyne exam and get some birth control. You should wait until she has completed at least one cycle of pills (about a month). During this time, you should talk with each other about what you are doing and why. You should make sure this is what you really want to do and that you are doing it for the right reasons. If either of you are religious, you may want to discuss it with your clergy during this time. After all this, make sure again this is what you want to do. Then plan on a place and a time, so you are ready and have everything you need.

Well, that's that. I hope it helps. Blessings unto you both.

By the was, I see people have given you their e-mail to talk to them. They may be very nice people, with very good intentions, but in a world of internet pedophiles I would highly advise you NOT to contact any of them. Talk to your doctor if you have any further questions. Again, they are required to keep you discussion private.

Answer 2

This isn't really the forum to ask this, but I'll try to help. The "cherry popping" thing is a silly term used to describe breaking a woman's hymen (thin membrane on the vagina). It is usually already dissolved through menstruation or broken through exercise long before a woman has sex. So, unless she is very young, she probably won't bleed, but it probably will hurt her. The best way that you can help is by giving her a lot of foreplay so that she is completely aroused, making sure you are protected with a condom, to lessen anxiety, being gentle and slow, and making sure that you are both comfortable and ready. As for giving her an orgasm, she isn't likely to have one her first time, but just pay attention to what she seems to like and be patient with her. It will happen in time. Don't force it.

Answer 3

First let me say something, if you both decided to wait there must have been a reason why... what was that reason?? For you and for her?? And if you love this girl then you need to make sure that you guys are having sex for the right reasons and that neither of you are compromising your fist time ( a very special time for anybody, but much more for women) in order to make the other happy. So just be sure why your doing what your doing. And make double sure for her, its what you do when you are in love.
As for your question does taking a woman virginity hurt? For you, no, for her it can actually be very painful. I have seen it both ways, but usually it is a painful experience. There really isn't any way around that. The only real advise i can give towards that is be very attentive to her needs... make sure she feels comfortable enough to tell you to slow down or softer or whatever she needs for it to be as less painful as possible, and you need to start out gentle regardless. And the second part of your question, to give her an orgasm... every girl is different and what works for one may not work for another, so watch her eyes and face, if you know her you will be able to tell what she likes and doesn't like.

Answer 4

I think you should wait if you and her are not getting married it isn't worth it. You don't know if you two are going to be together forever unless of course you were married. If you two were to have sex then break up you would get with someone else and risk getting kids or even worse an s.t.d like AIDS you don't want to be introduced into that kind of "sharing" honey you could have sex with someone and they have an s.t.d from someone else and are giving it to you from them and the other people lord knows who they have been with, many reasons why there is so much cheating in the world today is because every knows what "better" is but if your a virgin when you get married right from the start man that would be awesome you two would never probably cheat on each other because everything is so new and all you would know is each other and you wouldn't have to worry about breaking up because you would be married so just WAIT it is so worth it

Answer 5

Once penetrated by a penis or anything else, a virgin girl's "maidenhead" - a thin layer that stands in the middle of the vargina and the womb - will get torn and she will bleed a bit. This is natural and as far as i'm concern, it does not hurt at all.

Your first intercourse can be hurtful if you do it too fast, or you make her get worried. So be gentle. Girls take much longer than boys to have an organism so be patient, too. I don't think it's easy to put a girl to that state if you don't f*ck her.

Answer 6

dude go for it its fine ... everything is perfectly natural ... and yes i mean the "CHERRY" thing ... its natural for a girl to have that and yes it ll hurt her a bit but then it eventually will one day too if u dont decide no to go for it ... but again its perfectly natural and is supposed to happen ...

now the second part .. dude for now you should just concentrate on the deeper meaning than just sex .. i mean the whole new found intimacy man ... to tell u the truth the girls get orgasms not by penetrations but by other things like how u make her feel during the whole process ... dont concentrate on orgasms and everything ... incase she wants to stop at what ever point u should be open enough to hear her reasons ok ... even though u havent you know "popped ur cherry"

and ya ... dont forget to use rubber ...

Answer 7

It's really not as bad as some people make it seem.Buy well lubricated condoms,so things go a little bit smoother,Just go slow,and listen to her if she tells you to slow down or stop.As far as her having an orgasm,it's probably not gonna happen the first time,due to her nerves.It may actually take her quite a few times to get off,wait till she gets more comfortable and her mind is more at ease.Good Luck and have fun!!

Answer 8

When the 1st time doing sex..the girl will bleeding a lot...its usual for the girl..its ok..I know its hurt..but it make the girl feels good after that...2 months ago I still a virgin,I dont want to have sex because it will make me hurt..but when I did it..it was hurt but it made me feel good too..so I think its ok..dont worry about it as long as ur girlfriend want it too...

Answer 9

Yash as it right. Definately some foreplay first. I'd recommend you give her some oral pleasure. But don't worry about giving her an orgasm -- it is not going to happen this time around. That's okay. Just have good time and treat her well (particularly afterwards).

Answer 10

If you really want to know, instant message me at [e-mail]

I wouldnt want to post this info for anybody to read, there are children on here.