I want to get married...why wont he propose?

Question

Ive been with the same guy since i was 15 years old. Im now 20...theres been talk about marriage proposal...but he keeps putting it off and putting it off...and everytime i bring it up, he tells me...."the more you ask about it, the further away i get to doing it."
But i feel like if i dont keep bringing it up, it'll never happen. I dont want to pressure him...but god damnit!! lol
what do i say? And dont answer with...just wait it out...IM GOING INSANE....i cant wait it out....i get anxious and depressed and annoyed at the fact! Please...someone...anyone!!!

Answer 1

Now matter what I tel you I'm dammed, but for your information, your giving him a free ride, you laid down the rules and he followed them by what you have allowed him to do, my guess is your age has a factor in it, you think you got what you want and he doesn't, there s something he's ot telling you, pressure him, your young enough to find a good man to love you and marry you. If he does not want to commit tell em our going to find someone who will, have some self respect lady.

Answer 2

He's not "ready" to get married... Period. You guys are still young, and he probably just doesn't want to commit quite yet; perhaps he's simply scared of the unknown, of the responsibility; or, he's not that sure about you as a couple, and thinks that something better might come along.

If he doesn't want to marry you - there's not a damn thing you can do about it. You can decide to wait - and then you *really* need to stop bugging him about it, and wait; it will help if you have other things going on in your life that occupy your mind and keep you busy; stop obsessing about it, and enjoy your life and your relationship.

Or, you can choose to break up and start dating other people. Eventually, you will find someone who's ready to "settle down" and have a family. There's always more fish in the sea... Don't feel like your b/f is the last guy you will ever meet.

Whatever you decide - try to make the best of it. Basically, you have to "get a life"; you don't need to marry the first guy you've ever been with; go out and explore what life has to offer. Good luck.

Answer 3

You're boyfriend is playing with you. He isn't ready to commit to something more but he likes being in a relationship. You have several options.
1. Wait it out. Maybe one day he'll be ready to get married and then ask you.
2. Give him an ultimatum- either the two of you get married or you're leaving this relationship. Be sure this is what you want and stand firm in your decision because if you say it and then back down he'll never take anything you say seriously and you'll be his doormat for years to come.
3. Take a break from the relationship and just have fun. Stop looking for marriage and if someone better comes along then pursue that relationship. I think you're to young to be married especially since you've only dated this one guy for 5 years. If during the break you and your boyfriend find someone else then you go your separate ways permanently. If not you can always get back together.

Whatever you do remember this; he can only play with your heart if you allow him.

Good Luck

Answer 4

In truth my first instinct was he problem is the same as mine when it comes to the future, in the sense that I am nervous and scared as to what future i can provide for my fiance, but honestly when i read the stament "the more you ask about it the further i get away from doing it", it sounds more like a control tactic. I fought w/ myself bout saying that cuz i dont know him or you and it could be he just doesnt know how to express his fears. So i would encourage you to think back over the last 5 yrs w/ him and ask yourself are there other times where he might have seemed controling or if someone else has said something similar to you about him.... just something to consider.

If it turn out that he is genuinely intent on asking you to marry him i would at least ask him what he meant by that statment and why he cant commit to you. And then you have to be patient and wait it out. Sorry. lol Kind of the way you play the game.

Answer 5

He might be feeling pressured. He could be afraid of commitment. Maybe, he is going to ask you but wants the perfect time. Who knows? I will tell you that my first fiance waited and waited and waited until he proposed and then told me two years later that he didn't want kids which to me was a big deal. I broke it off with him despite how much in love we were. I started dating again, met a great guy and eight days after we met he proposed. We got married 5 months after we met. We have four kids and have been happily married for over seven years. My point is that everything happens for a reason. What if my ex never told me that he didn't want kids and we had gotten married? If he loves you that much, he will eventually ask. Maybe, he is saving up for an exspensive ring. Wouldn't you feel bad if that is why he is waiting and you keep pressuring him? Just calm down and quit worrying about it. Some guys take proposals extremely seriously and they should. My BIL asked my sister after months of careful planning and planned to do it on the 4th of July which was months away. She pestered and pestered him and you know what? She eventually grew tired of pestering him and two months later he asked. Hope it works out.

Answer 6

well, i hope the both of you have been saving your virginity for each other at least.

if you give him sex before marriage he has no reason to ever propose. not that sex is the most important part of marriage. but it is like a drug in that it gives him a sense of well being and he doesn't want to rock the boat from what he has now by getting married.

do you want to have babies? is that why you want to get married so bad? is it that you want to move out of your parents house?

my advice is to move on. become the kind of women that men want to marry. someone who doesnt need a man to validate themselves but brings something to the relationship.

are you a good cook? do you have friends that you enjoy doing things with. or do you just sit around the house doing nothing like a bump on a log and wondering why he will not propose?
whats in it for him if he does? and whats in it for you if he does?

i don't know you but i am sure i may have come close on at least one point. which one i dont know. so dont just wait it out. get on with your life. if he proposes then you can decide one way or the other. if he doesnt, you will still have a life. hopefully one that gets better the more effort you put into it.

Answer 7

My friend, you are in the same problem as I am.

I am ready to build a brand new day with my future hubby a.k.a my BF. The way I want to get married earlier, he still insisted to plan it when I am 25 (which are in 1-2 year later).
Sometimes I just understand why he won't purposing me so fast, yeah...honestly, it just a financial matter.
Marriage (read: wedding ceremony/party) is soooooo expensive right now....
And maybe he want you happily ever after with him, by a simple and sincerely love. Not because of he doesn't love you or doesn't ready to sharing life with you.

The other wise solution is wait. But I suggest you should have more patients. If you do, he will think you are too "great" to control him a lot. (Almost men don't like dominant and pushy women)

Answer 8

While I don't want to get all up in your business, here is a thought:

What is his incentive to marry you? Do you act like a wife now? Is there anything that - ahem - he is not already getting that he would get if you got married?

Some guys really are that base. It doesn't mean that they are bad men, but it does mean that a little push can be helpful. However, if you have nothing to offer...

I am actually rather liberal on matters of premarital sex, but I have talked with so many young ladies who are in a similar situation.

There is a truly horrible old saying (that has some truth in it):

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

And, if I have completely misread this, I do apologize. However, you are still very, very young to be getting married.

Answer 9

Many guys prefer a relationship over marriage because of the responsibilites that come with being wedded.

If you think this person is capable of taking up such responsibilites having been with him for this long then there should be no problem in him agreeing to marry you.

If you feel he is someone genuinely interested in you then you can talk him over any fears he has regarding marriage or even otherwise you can at best talk to him and get to know why he has problems in marrying you.

Being in a relationship with him for this long you are the only person who can get him to tell you about such problems if any.

Answer 10

you need to ask him this and only do it once...ask him if he is planning on marrying you at some point and before yous are 30. Tell him that you just dont want to be with someone who is not that commited, and that you are fine with waiting you just want to know if he is planning on doing somthing within 10 years so you know your not wasting your time.
If he says yes, than you need to stop bringing it up, its most likely hes going to be asking you soon, he knows that you are wanting it so its really up to him making it a surprise, and i think that he finds that you asking him all the time and bringing it up wont make it much as a surprise if he asks you soon. So once you give up asking him than he will put his plan into action. Theres really no need to rush things, you are still young. I understand that it is important to you and you want to get married asap, considering as its every girls dream...well almost every girls dream to get married and have that fairy tale wedding which all eyes are on you. But rushing things wont make it better it will only seem to go faster and before you know it , it will be over. Try to enjoy just being girlfriend and boyfriend, because there will be a very long time that you will be married as husband and wife, the dating thing is really limited.

Answer 11

You're a little young to be getting married. Do both of you have an education and/or jobs. Have either of you been to college? You'll want to get some education before you get married so you both can provide for yourselves. Also, pressuring, hinting, and constantly asking him to marry you is definitely not a good idea. That won't make for a good marriage.