Recently I met this guy. he's very cool and attractive. i started seeing him as an aquaintance, i never imagined that id end up seeing him in a romantic way, -1 because he's 31(doesnt look like it though) and im 18 and 2- because he lives far away. i dont really want a relationship with him, but i do feel sexually attracted to him. to the point that i really wanna act on it. he's going back to the state he lives in and while we're still going to keep in touch, we wont see eachother for a while if not ever again. i have felt tension between us and i think he feels sexually attracted to me too. my question is to all of you who have been in the same or similar situation before is, should i act on it? Is the age difference such a big deal if i just want an intimate encounter and then just keep being aquaintances? how did it work out for you? What do you think? Please mature answers only.
2007-02-04 17:00:48 · 21 answers · asked by ♥ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When I met my fiancee', I was 31 and he told me that he was 39 (BIG LIE!!!!!) because I told him that i refused to date someone over 7 years older than me. I said to myself: He's kinda cute and very polite. I guess I can let him slide with a couple years. one day he has buying champagne for us and needed his license from the glove box. I fished it out for him and found out that he was 45!!!!! The little bastard lied to me!!! I yelled and cursed until I was blue in the face. He apologized and said that when I told him of my age restrictions, it made him nervous and he didn't want to let me get away so he lied. I told him that it was selfish of him and all he wanted was all that he cared about and that he took my choices away from me by lying. The look on his face when thought I was gonna leave was sadder than watching someone kick a puppy. My heart melted. That night we had some of the most mind blowing sex I'd EVER had. I still get a funny feeling in my tummy when I think about it. You don't have to get engaged to the guy as i did but as you can see it didn't turn out bad either.
First, find out if he feels it too. And if so, ask him if he wouldn't mind if you had "NO-STRINGS" sex. This is where you have a really good friend and you have sex just once to see if it could be good, but continue with the friendship. Who knows, it might be great.
2007-02-04 17:21:38 · answer #1 · answered by afreeca812 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
When I was 17, I was in a sexuall relationship with a 24 year old man. yes.. now I am 28 and see that even at 24... he was still very young. 30 is not old.... gee wizzz... 31 isnt much older... but...
You are just beginning. He has been around a bit longer than you... And me.
just a few years makes a big difference when it comes to Sex, Love, Attraction, Needs, and wants.
sometimes... acting on things we THINK are ok and acting on things we feel should be fine for just a night or two.. .but..
Reality is much much more consequencial. Emotionally,, you are old enough to decide.. Physically you are mature enough to handle any problems or what ever... BUT... If you can look at it as only an impulse that you want to feed... then, its not all that interesting after all options are put on the table .. is it?
Yes you say but really ... when you are 31. You WIll say.... wow... I should have treated my body and my self much better, Respect will come from all over the place my dear... but you must must must .. respect all that you are worth, your Young body, your beautiful skin., you wonderful smile... all those things an 18 year old treasures and all those things,, Older men wish to absorb.
my advice.. "do not be absorbed". "Do not make a small wanting, a reality." Do not let this man make you believe that you will be able to let go and move on.. because the fact is .. you will remember him always.. and maybe when your life changes... (as far as being older and looking back). You will be able to say.. Im glad I was a smart woman.
2007-02-04 17:12:18 · answer #2 · answered by BeezKneez 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
5 to 1 the guy's married. He is probably separated from his wife, by about 200 miles. His wife is home raising the 3 kids he helped create and has limited time to be the sweet young thing he married. That's where you came in. You are young and gullible. If you want to settle in being some old married man's personal whore, go for it. Just understand that women can't help but become emotionally involved when sex is on the table, but sex without the emotions is just something rabbits do. Also understand this guy will never, ever settle for you. Get out while you can because 1 - he is way to old for you and 2 - he is going back to the state from which he live and to whatever or who ever he has there.
2007-02-04 17:15:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The age difference isn't that big of a deal. But, honestly, when I was 18 years old, I was in a similar situation. I regret having sex with that guy and I hope that you don't make the same mistake as me. The question to ask yourself is: why is a 31 year old into an 18 year old? KWIM? Just really think about it. I look back and get quite creeped out by the guy I was with.
2007-02-04 17:14:40 · answer #4 · answered by Kristen H 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, don't do it. He's a perve... you are barely a child. He likes you because you look like a child or act like one. I've been there and it ended up feeling like a date rape or shady situation because of the age difference. I look back and think about how many better guys I could have been with or around had I not done what I did. Let it go. He probably has a wife and kids in the other state. Don't break up the family for a little attraction. If you don't know his history or his daily life pattern... I wouldn't chance it. You'll have plenty other chances with plenty cute guys who are more your age. This guy is a perve... even if you can't tell now, you'll think back when you're older and realize... "wow, that guy was a perve." Don't do it.
2007-02-04 17:14:15 · answer #5 · answered by jennilaine777 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I do not think ANY women should just have random sex with a guy. It will only make you look bad. He is older, so chances are he only wants sex and nothing more. Are you really ok with him just using you? If you really want to try to make this into a relationship. Sex is not the way to do it. You want to know he wants to be with you. If he is willing to work on a long distance relationship without sex, then he sounds like a good guy. But if he keeps saying he needs sex then chances are he will rather date you (but only for sex) and still date other women behind your back. Know what I mean??? If he is fair away and the chances of you seeing each other again are slim, then I would just let him go and just keep a picture of him around :) But don't sell yourself short. I once asked the question, "Guys do you want to marry a virgin or a women who has had sex with past b/fs?" I was very surprised to see that almost ALL of my replays (and I had a lot) where from men saying that they would DATE women who has sex with lots of other b/fs but that they would rather MERRY a women who has saved herself for her husband. So keep that in mind :)
2007-02-04 17:09:55 · answer #6 · answered by dohm84 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're still young and you're still forming ideas about who you are.
You are infatuated with this guy. You are not in love with him or interested in a long term relationship.
You need to ask yourself 'do I want to be a girl who has sex with guys that infatuate me?' or 'do I want to be a girl who has sex with guys that also provide for me and support/protect me?'
If you are thinking that it's 'just this one time', it's not. For your own well-being, you will embrace the experience as being stamped 'good'. Thus, going forward, you will be OK with all sexual experiences that would have passed precedent judgement (and since all previous events have been stamped 'good' in you head). You will be a girl who has sex with will all guys that really, really infatuate her. This will result in you not being good long term relationship material (b/c sooner or later a really, really infactuating guy always comes along) and, potential boyfriends recognizing this, will treat you differently.
Thus under my reasoning, if you want to be good long-term relatinoship material, then you shouldn't do this. As having a great long-term relationship is almost everyone's ideal, i think the answer to your question is no.
You're an 18 year-old girl. You don't need sexual experience simply for the sake of sexual experience. Give it time and wait for the right guy to come along, someone who wants to be a part of your life.
2007-02-04 17:48:28 · answer #7 · answered by lucky guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey!i had a far relation ship for 6 month!it just dont work!a way of attraction between to person is just feel eachother!u know what i mean!phisically being together will make relation ship go.being seperate will make things just meaningless!if ur with him(commited)why go out by ur own!hope to get what i mean!
and about the age difference personaly i like the age diffrence up yo 7 years not more!but it different for each person!i dont know him!but i have to say watch what are you doing and ask for conseltation!my cansellor is my mom!:D you know because at least he lived life 13 years more!
make sure he is much carring and commited to stay with u when he is far and with less age diffrence than u(being with more mature girls than u, honestly)
2007-02-04 17:10:46 · answer #8 · answered by karen 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it is unreasonable for her to think of that it may be difficulty-free so which you will bounce lower back right into a courting, in spite of whether or not she slept with everyone else; she harm you, and that soreness will never flow away. She needs to appreciate which you have some have confidence themes to artwork out along with her, and till she is thoroughly insensitive she'll understand. Time heals.
2016-09-28 10:47:15 · answer #9 · answered by barksdale 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nah, dont do it, its just a one night thing, its better if u give it to someone who loves u and u love back, not just sexually attracted to, its worth saving it for the man that gonna be there for u day and night, not some guy u'll never see again
2007-02-04 17:08:19 · answer #10 · answered by Rey M 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋