My ex bf broke up with me to be with another girl, its a very complicated story, but I helped him thru alot we, never fought, fell in love, but he was depressed and even had suicidal feelings. I was there for him thru it all and he told me how much he loved me and appreciated me. We were together almost 2years. But when he developed feelings for this other girl, he lied to me, acted very cold to me, acted like we were never much of anything. He hurt me very badly. I feel he made me think these things were true, but they were not. Why did he act this way towards me? After, I tried to confront him and he aplogized and said it was all uncalled for. But he seems very distant and cant face me. But my question why and how could he say such hyrtful things to me, I truly feel we had a good relationship minus his depressive state. I helped him thru so much! Can someone help me understand him,??
2007-02-04 16:40:29 · 8 answers · asked by MissMia 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
some people don't know how to cope with guilt so they lash out at others to put the blame elsewhere. thats probably it. very simple. he will probably grow out of it once his maturity level rises and he realizes what he's done. he can't cope with guilt and that might have to do with his depression.
2007-02-04 16:51:49 · answer #1 · answered by D H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me, it sounds like maybe he's taking something out on you-something meant for someone else-and it's easier for him to 'beat you up', since you've been there for him through and through before-and he's taking advantage of that. It's also a form of control. He knows you pretty well after two years, he knows he can get away with hurting you & you trying to work it out with him at some point.
My advice is, stop trying to 'help' him. Just listen & only give advice when he asks for it. If he doesn't want, or can't face you right now-give him the space he needs-times two. This is important-give him more 'time' than he ever expected-wait for him to make the effort. Don't coerce him into talking about anything, but what he wants. Don't confront him about anything-(no guilt-trips), wait for him to take the initiative. Let him start the conversation.
One-sided friendships and relationships don't work, and he needs to make more of an effort. If he doesn't, you need to accept that maybe he's changing and what worked in your relationship with him before, may not be what he wants anymore. Yes, he's got feelings, but so do you. If you consistently react differently=he'll begin to act differently.
2007-02-05 01:25:08 · answer #2 · answered by Little Jeannie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he feels guilty for being a jerk. Pushing you away might have made it easier for him to deal with the break up, but once you called him on the fact that what he said was mean and untrue, he's face to face with knowing he was acting like a jerk. Now he's like the puppy that was just caught chewing on your favorite sneakers - he cowers, rolls on his back, and faces the other way. Only this time it's your ex-bf.
He is displaying his character to you. Just be glad you did not marry him. Hope the next bf has better character.
2007-02-05 00:57:14 · answer #3 · answered by georgiagolfer72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why he was suicidal but one guess might be low self-esteem. If it was, you might have been the one that kept his self-esteem up because you really cared for him. However, he didn't truly love you, how could he if he didn't even love himself and didn't know what to offer you? When the other girl came along, he felt like he didn't need you anymore. My advice is move on! From the looks of it, you'd be a great girlfriend to a guy who truly loves you. Forget this jerk and call it a learning process. Why waste your time on someone who treats you badly?
2007-02-05 00:52:37 · answer #4 · answered by jii 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear miss mia,
yuo are among millions who are westing ther precious life to undrestand the same mistry and just forgets the open secret ,men are basically polygamy , which they have inherited from the evolutional forefather, monkey. Rather miss mia ask yourself ,what is there behynd love what was there between you tow. And what is there behynd yor grief , perfect love or a sanse of defeat. No,not you ,but he has been defeated . He has failed to overcome his monkey like nature ,and even has failed to show a minimum gratitude. Now ,miss mia is it correct for a lady of sanse like you ,to spend the rest of your life ,being sorry for a mistake which you made. Just a minute I am not saying your help to him was a mistake .I am sure a lady like you will do the same thing again and again but please try to do it without any greed for return.You will get a great mental rest from GOD. Do not west your life . Try to do some thing for the world ,without expecting any return . GOD will give mental rest , which is not present in most of the peopil we see every day. And lastly miss mia try to search GOD who is present inside aswelas outside of every thing. And i confirm you 'HE' comes only if you wait for you.
I hope your success miss mia.
Dr. B Tarafder
bibaswan1@yahoo.co.in
2007-02-05 01:37:38 · answer #5 · answered by BIBASWAN T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a guy who did the same
His response he didnt love me, even though i loved him loads
It has nothing to do with you at all, it is all him
HE wanted to try something new and you poor girl where stuck in the cross fire
HE is really just a selfish bastard who moves around when he thinks he sees something better
2007-02-05 01:00:06 · answer #6 · answered by mary L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he's a loser and your better off without him, but don't worry when things go bad with his new girl he will come back looking to ruin your life.
2007-02-05 00:49:57 · answer #7 · answered by Dave 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my opinion is what u did leave on Allah . and its still not late just leave him he is not made for u.for Ur nice heart may Allah gives u another nice heart then u forget this selfish men
2007-02-05 00:49:23 · answer #8 · answered by main sirf us ki hoon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋