In the last 2 weeks me and a boy on my rowing team (I'm the female coxswain) He is the best rower and technecally we are allowed to but shouldn't date the teammates for drama reasons.
He had always been my best friend until 2 weeks ago when we kissed, talked, then fell asleep together. Then he didn't bring it up and I assumed it was a one time thing.
Then thus night I got back from going out and the same thing happened. I kept saying I hope your not using me, and I feel so comfortable with him cause he has been like a brother the last year
He left college and went home for the weekend, we talked on aim about everyday stuff, he came back and hasn't imed me or came to see me. I just found out he has 3 girls coming to see him this weekend.
I am usually not so spazie about guys or needy but it's just like I really like him and trust him and if this dosn't work I am going to feel so used.
What should I Do?
Is he using me?
2007-02-04 16:30:29 · 8 answers · asked by Coxie Megan 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
(I don't want to IM him or see him cause I don't want him to think i'm like needy or pressuring him into anything...I just can't think straight though and I have other things to be worrying about, like school and the team in general)
Oh yeah no one on the team knows so this whole things is a secret...which makes me feel even more used.
2007-02-04 16:32:10 · update #1
these answers are really great
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2007-02-04 17:10:11 · update #2
I don't think he's been using you. I DO know that you shouldn't IM him, though! Let it go for a while.
Focus on schoolwork and teamwork. Leave the other stuff for later. It will either happen or not.
At least this way you won't have to make a big deal about it. He may have kissed you those past couple of times because he feels comfortable around you. You will definitely blow it with him if you pressure him right now.
Those other 3 girls coming to visit him may have been his inspiration for him to kiss you. He may be thinking longer term than this coming weekend. So skip the drama and keep BUSY, girl!
Please come back and let us know later what happens after this next weekend, o.k.?
I'm proud of you for thinking ahead for your future and placing your work/team/studies ahead of your immediate love anxst. It will all work out if you give it some time. The busier you are, the more attractive and unnatainable you will appear. Make him WORK for a real realtionship with you, o.k?
2007-02-04 16:46:20 · answer #1 · answered by domesticgoddess 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ugh. He probably doesn't even think twice about whether he's using you or not. I don't mean to be cynical, but it sounds like he's too removed and too into his own thing to think twice about what it might be doing to do.
I'm sorry that it's happening but think you would be best served to learn from this and move on, doing what you can to keep out of those sorts of situations in the future. I was reading your details, and I wondered if you didn't feel like a dirty little secret. I think that's the phrase people use. But if you are that or not, you say you do feel used and you should respect that feeling within yourself. It's just not worth it, and in the long run, some people aren't what they're cracked up to be.
Good luck with it. And I guess the final word is to just go with your gut. Sometimes there's only you to look out for you.
2007-02-05 00:40:35 · answer #2 · answered by SnowFlats 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he doesn't want to be tied down. If you feel used then don't let it happen again. You probably want more from the relationship and he probably is still trying to figure out who may be the best choice. Either way it's not the best situation for you. Move on and date someone else and take your time getting to know them and if you want more then communicate so you both have some understanding what the relationship should be. Casual or exclusive???
2007-02-05 00:39:35 · answer #3 · answered by danny_austin4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see how he's using you. He's spending time with you, and occasionally being kissy kissy. That's not really using you to his own benefit. Using you would be to be screwing your brains out on a constant basis, butters you up with things that make you think you're the only one..etc etc.. when he has no intention of committing to you.
What you're describing is just, iunno. fooling around. Doesn't clear him of being a prick for not messaging you, but then again, you don't know the exact situation.
He sounds like he's just in the field, hanging out with people and just having fun. Which is perfectly acceptable, it's not fair to assume that spending time with a person automatically means you want to be with them.
As for the secrecy, you brought that on yourself. You knew full well that it would be a hidden affair but went through with it anyway.
2007-02-05 00:39:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never assume. You must talk to him and find out where you stand. If you won't get in touch with him, you will stay confused. Tell him how you feel, don't be afraid. Best wishes.
2007-02-05 00:38:53 · answer #5 · answered by Ripplediane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably doesn't even know your real feelings about him. I think you should tell him what is on your mind. Don't feel used, I really believe he is not aware of your feelings.
Stay up!!
2007-02-05 00:38:25 · answer #6 · answered by TCW 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you still gotta give him some booty then he wont talk to you any more dont feel used just yet
2007-02-05 00:39:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES, us guys use you women, get used to it.
2007-02-05 00:36:08 · answer #8 · answered by I'm In Love With Delicious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋