this cute guy i like who happens to be my co-worker touchedme by my hip to tell me something-i dont think he noticed but i got annoyed-i moved away from him when he did that because it made me uncomfortale-he has said that i get defensive real quick but i didn't want him touching at all-so what should i do?
it was during work and he wanted to tell me there was a messy table ( i work as a hostess and i help the servers with their tables) but it was not even his, anyways, he could have tapped me on my shoulder, why did he do it by my hip?
2007-02-04 15:49:15 · 13 answers · asked by amanda 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
he is engaged .
2007-02-04 16:04:38 · update #1
Mmm. Interesting situation. Well I guess that you would know him as a person better than anybody else, and you can gauge his general attitude towards you. So what I say may not properly apply in this context, but here goes.
Unless this guy is a real sleaze and a pervert, which he's not, otherwise, I'm sure you would have just dismissed it as another thing that he does.
Seeing you work in a restaurant, or something like it, he probably did so, so that the contact would not be seen. Depending on how crowded the area was, by contacting you on a more intimate part of your body, I guess he would have been sure to get your attention. Now, if he touched an exposed part of skin, this is always inappropriate but if he touched the side of your hip where the bone was, I guess he just thought that it was the easiest way to grab your attention. If you do not feel comfortable with this, I suggest you bring it up with him next time you two are working together. Do this during work time, because he might take this the wrong way if you go out of your way to do it in your own time.
It is important that if assumed boundaries are not commonly known, you should make them clear. If he is any gentleman, he will respect your wishes.
Hope this helps
Paul
paulblackman@yahoo.com.au
2007-02-04 16:09:43 · answer #1 · answered by paulblackman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're way over the top.
There is appropriate and inappropriate behaviour in all workplaces.
I agree, maybe he shouldn't have touched your hip but if it's a one time incident it was probably without any sexual intention.
(and you say you like him and he's cute?)
A lot of people over-react. He may have been trying to prevent you from bumping into the messy table (most people don't bump into a table with their shoulder).
2007-02-05 11:25:08 · answer #2 · answered by Johnny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you're over reacting. You must have some ego to think guys just want to get off on touching you whenever they can. Why the hell don't you ask him why he choose to touch on the hip or at all? Maybe you were bent over and your hip was closer than your shoulder, but he's the one who would know. And if you don't want to be touched, then say something to him and others instead of getting quietly offended and thinking perverted thoughts. And get over yourself.
2007-02-04 23:58:00 · answer #3 · answered by marklemoore 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Everyone has their own level of comfort when it comes to touching. This intensifies when you are very aware of someone in your comfort zone (especially someone you strongly like or dislike). In addition, he may be a very touchy feely person, and didn't think anything of it. Apologize and say you were caught off guard and surprised, but didn't mean to react that way. Or say that you were not raised to be touchy feely, and its just a matter of having different feelings in this subject. Whatever you say, just apologize 'cause he was probably offended.
2007-02-04 23:57:43 · answer #4 · answered by ejc_360 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i think most women get defensive touch hip, it is kind of sexual zone
Some even get offended about shoulder which i think is over reaction.
It does not sound like you over reacted. He does it again, tell him that you dont feel comfortable but you dont mind him tapping yoiur shoulder. He is bordering on sexually harassing you although he may not have been doing it on purpose
2007-02-05 00:05:41 · answer #5 · answered by rostov 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes and no, you are having a n atural reaction when being put in a situation in which u are uncomortable....but just wait, if he does it again, maybe he is trying something, and then you should tell him how you feel, if he does not do it again, dont worry about it, he didnt mean anything by it.
2007-02-04 23:54:40 · answer #6 · answered by Jessica H. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well considering ur hip is kinda down there....the fact that he reached down there most likely means he wants to do you....no joke either....u said u like him too...just be careful if he starts "liking" u more and more...he might just like your hips...moving away isnt overreacting unless u 2 have a touchy feely relationship...
2007-02-05 00:00:17 · answer #7 · answered by unpredictedmystery 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
WAY OVER REACTING..really, let it go, there will be a mess more of life that will be in need of addressing, sorry but in my opinion, this is not one of them. Choose your battles well, then you don't have to stress the small stuff and you can enjoy your life...JMO...
2007-02-04 23:54:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to speak with him, tell him very serious that you dont appreciate it when people touch you even if is was "accidentally" please be more carefully around me dont "accidentally" touch me, i feel unconfortable and is not professional from your part.
2007-02-04 23:59:08 · answer #9 · answered by dancingwiththestars 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this time assume it was accidental, and let it go, but if he does it again, you can tell him to quit it, or you will report him.
2007-02-05 00:00:04 · answer #10 · answered by busybody12 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋