Why do I feel this way, please dont be rude?

Question

Why do I feel that I'm not good to have a boyfriend, I have a great boyfriend, and we been going out for two years, and someday to get married and have kids, but I feel I dont derseve to have one, I dont think I'm pretty and not very bright, I dont have a job yet, cause no one will hire me, I feel, ometimes my boyfriend, deserves better, but he told me that I was a kind loveing person , and I'am pretty, sometimes I wish I was Perfect for him, why do I feel like this, and How can I get over this, even his friend's say that my boyfriend is lucky to have me, but Why do I dont beilve it.

I do everything for him, but I till feel nothing I do, is perfect. I'm loveing and faithful to him.

Answer 1

I feel that way so much. I got married at the age of 19 to my wonderful husband. I had a job when we first met and he didn't and all was good but things switched and i dont have a job and he does. But I have a problem thinking that i am not good enough pretty enough. I feel like i could do everything but still not do enough. I think you both need to work on our self esteem and know that they love us and they think that we are wonderful and ask ourselves and ask them why do you love me. and know that you are doing alot and that you love each other and everything will be good. And know that you are bright, just because you do not have a job doesn't mean you are not bright it just means it is hard to get a job. people with college degrees are having a hard time getting jobs and I know alot of them. So dont feel to bad about that. Just try to think positive I know sometimes that is the hardest thing anyone can ask you to do but you need to try so your relationship will always be great like it is now.

Answer 2

You need to stop being so negative. Instead of listing your imagined shortcomings you should list your good points. Your boyfriend has given you a good start, kind loving, pretty, his friends like you (that is a big bonus) carry on with this list and bolster your self esteem. As for a job, why won't they hire you? Are your expectations too high? Most people can get a job in catering/hotel/bar work and then, if you want to improve your prospects, study in your spare time. There are loads of night classes/home study/college courses that do not cost the earth. If you want something badly enough you have to put in the effort, whether in relationships or career goals. Meantime you have to stop these negative opinions of yourself, every time you have a bad thought about yourself make yourself have 2 good ones. Another to add to the list is how lucky you are to have a loving relationship, another question on the list is from someone who is having to spend Valentines Day alone. You are well and loved. Enjoy.

Answer 3

seems to me something in your past has given you this low self esteem and you really should address that problem because it sounds to me like its getting out of hand. You either need to go see a shrink or get some self help book but its all down to you in the end. Look in the mirror each day and force yourself to see all yr good positive sides and not dwell on the negatives. Honestly life is too short to cut yourself up about things and you really dont want to push your bf away with what you think are your shortcomings, i bet if you showed a pic of yourself you'd be told by so many people how pretty you are, and personally i'd Rather know a beautiful person within than someone so shallow. Start today and believe in yourself it all starts and ends with you.

Answer 4

This whole 'perfection' thing is overrated ... the people who really love us love us for our imperfections also, because it's those little things that make us individual and special to our partners. It sounds like your boyfriend loves you ...

I think your problem is that you have too much time on your hands, what with not having a job. If I could make a suggestion, why don't you look around for voluntary positions in your neighbourhood? Do you have something like a Citizen's Information Bureau, or try at your local job agency, there may be a homeless shelter that needs people to do all kinds of things - it doesn't matter what it is, the challenge would be good for you, and the experience would look good on the CV (or resume, if you're in the States).

Answer 5

You are worthy! NO ONE is PERFECT! You are most deserving of everything life has to offer you. Start by loving yourself, go to the mirror and tell yourself this "I am worthy" "I am deserving" "I love me"

If you keep telling yourself that you stupid you gonna believe yourself coz that's all you hear! If you weren't pretty and bright your boyfriend would not have stuck it out with you. His friends would not have said he's lucky to have you.

Just remember, you are BOTH lucky to have each other! Go out and find something to keep you busy. The reason no one is hiring you is because your self esteem is low and you don't believe you deserve to have a job. YOU do! People will hire you when you walk in there full of confidence and with your head held high.

You need to believe in yourself. YOU CAN DO IT!! I have faith in you. Don't worry about what other people think or say about you. It's what you think that counts!!

I wish you all the best!

Answer 6

Oh, hun, you really do have very low self-esteem, don't you! Because you feel you don't deserve to have a great boyfriend you can't understand why your boyfriend, who is obviously a terrific guy, is still with you. He thinks you are kind, loving and pretty and has been with you for two years so it must be true. Keep telling yourself that! You are a special person and you deserve the best that life can give you. Believe in yourself!

Answer 7

Well first off no one is perfect. Second just cause you don't got a job, and you think your not pretty or smart is no reason for you to think you dont deserve him, as long as you guys love each other and make each other happy then you guys fit just right, and there's obviously something very special about you that makes him like you sooo much and that he doesn't need you to be smart or anything, being pretty and smart is just extra like a cherry on ice cream, he likes you for whats inside of you, and for your heart and he feels something true and real with you. Trust me you deserve him! Have more confidence in yourself too! :-D

Answer 8

I totally know what your saying... I sometimes feel the same way. You just need to improve your self confidence. When you dont feel good about yourself you need to work on it. Start doing some things just for you.... get your hair cut at a fancy place, buy clothes that make you feel great, go to the gym and workout and tone your body.. do whatever it takes to make you feel good about you. Go out and find a job even if its not the greatest job. You need some accomplishments in your life so that you can feel good that you can do stuff for yourself and others. That will then boost your self confidence.... :) hope this helps

Answer 9

What you have is low self-esteem it comes from your childhood I know I have been there. You need to buy self help books to get reed of these feelings, and turn to God watch some Christian channels that helped me a lot. There was a time that I felt I did not deserve my husband or my children they were so beautiful when they were babies and they are so handsome now that they are grown. Now when I look at them I see me in them, that makes me so happy, and I tell my husband we made beautiful children didn’t we. Do not be so hard on yourself, because this can affect your marriage try to be happy with what God has given you it is blessings to have someone love you so much this is a gift from God take it and enjoy it like a milkshake!

Answer 10

Your problem is that you are not secure with the way you live and how you look. If you love your b/f and you're honest and faithful to him, I think that you shouldn't think these silly things about yourself. I think that your b/f is proud to have you as his g/f and I think that he will be very upset if you break up your relationship just because of these silly thoughts.

As regarding you don't have a job yet, that must never be the problem that will break the relationship. Everybody knows how difficult it is to get a job and so it is not your fault if you're unemployed.

So my advice is this, keep loving him, stay faithful, loyal and honest and stop thinking these silly things. All that matters is that your b/f loves you the way you are.

Good Luck dear.