emotionally abused-trauma bond, is this a condition?

Question

i know this guy whos i dont know if obsessed is the right word.... he's been in this sick realtionship where both hurt each other, speacially the girl, doing stuff like cheating on him several times, getting pregnant and have abortions calling the babies piece of crap, u know just doing mean things to him. but still he says he cant live without her, keep taking her back no matter what she does, falling into deep depressions everytime she does something and back to normal when he's with her, does this have a name? and if it does, is there treatment? how can the people around him help him, right now he is not only hurting himself but his entire family and friends... i'd really apreciate any help on this matter!!!

Answer 1

My mom calls this "the dance". Some people like to be 'sick together'. They have some weird personal pathology and the way they abuse eachother feeds something in them. Believe it or not, in their misery, they are happy in their own psycho way. I knew a couple like this, they sucked everyone into their drama and they materially affected my life in a very negative way, I loved them both so much and it hurt me to watch more than it hurt them to go through this because some sick part of them was ENJOYING it.

My suggestion: Walk away.

Answer 2

There has to be a point of..."Ive had enough" on his part.
No matter what you say or do the choice is ultimately his.
Be as supportive as you can with out doing any damage to yourself. Abusive relationships are caused by a wide range of issues and situations. None of which you or the rest of his friends and family can fix for him. This is something he is going to have to do. You can suggest therapy, go with him to therapy, give him numbers to call...etc etc. But he has to be the one to decide he wants his life to be different for himself.
Be there when he needs you...but don't become a doormat or dumping ground for his bad choices.
The words i would repeat to hI'm as much as possible..
"had enough yet?"
He may not ever change. You will have to accept this as his choice.
Regardless of his girlfriend...who im sure is absolutely horrible...He has to be the one to take care of himself.