I used to have a huge crush on this guy in high school. A couple years later, I met my boyfriend who I am very much in love with and now live with him. He was the only person I'd ever been sexual with. When he and I were having problems about a month ago, I contacted my high school crush (who goes to my college) and we hooked up. Since then, we hooked up 3 more times. I don't know why I came back for more...the sex wasn't even that good. I called the other day and broke things off with the high school guy, because it's wrong and my bf and I are now trying to work on things, but I feel horribly guilty because my bf and I were still together when I did cheat on him. I'm not the person ANYONE would ever think would do such a thing. I'm very surprised and angry with myself. When it was going on though, I never felt an ounce of guilt. I just need to get this out and get some advice of how to completely get over and forget about this.
2007-02-04 15:24:35 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are human, we make mistakes. You will never completely get over it, if you did you would be doomed to repeat it.
2007-02-04 15:30:31 · answer #1 · answered by whatshisface 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband cheated on me after 12 years of marriage. When I questioned him about it, he too doesn't know the REAL REASONS why he cheated. He claimed it could be MANY reasons....too much freedom (he was based in another country at that time), right time, right place, the woman was very friendly and loneliness. Just like you, my husband would never think of having an affair before this and he even swore to his friends he would never, but in the end, he succumbed to the seductress. One thing for sure, my husband confessed that he felt a lot much better that the affair was found out. It's like a whole burden is off his back and he doesn't have to live with the guilt the rest of his life. Even though the affair hurt my feelings and "tarnished" the marriage, he vowed never to cheat again after what he has gone through and seeing the pain the whole family went through too. Now, he's a change man and much loving to me and my daughter. He even told me he was very glad that I found out about the affair (he didn't have the courage to tell me on his own then). Maybe, you can confess to your bf about the whole thing. If he truly loves you, he will forgive you and move on with you by his side. First, you have to promise never to cheat on him again and prove it to him. Not just by words but by actions. Good luck!
2007-02-04 23:36:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I did the same thing years ago and here's what I realize now.....
I wasn't IN LOVE with my fiance. (Yeah we were engaged.) But I did love him a lot, but just not in THAT way. When we've cheated, it wasn't ON the boyfriend (even though that's EXACTLY who it effects) but it was a way of pushing your bf away from you. You don't REALLY want to be with him. Your guilt has to do with not JUST the cheating, but that you know you need to leave. But you don't want to.
I bet reading this one right now, you're like, "nope, no way!" But it's true girl. If you REALLY loved this guy, you wouldn't have slept with a guy (WHO WAS BAD BY THE WAY) 3 times! Once is an "oops", twice is a "Okay wtf?", three times is, "I'm so desperate to go I'll do a guy who can't satisfy me!"
Trust me. When you break up with him, you'll feel so much better. Not just for you, but both of you. Whether or not you tell him you cheated is up to you. I wouldn't tell him, not unless it was unprotected. But if you care about his feelings AT ALL, don't say it. The only reason for telling him you did another guy is to relieve your guilt; and THAT'S MESSED UP.
Do your thing, but don't lie to yourself.
2007-02-04 23:34:46 · answer #3 · answered by me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coming from a guy who's been cheated on, I'm glad she told me. Then again, that's the last thing she ever said to me, but I understand where you're coming from feeling guilty. It all depends on what kind of relationship you want to have. One where you keep things from each other, or not.
2007-02-04 23:37:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's because you had a crush on him and you always wondered what it would have been like with him.
If I were you I wouldn't tell your bf now.
2007-02-04 23:35:32 · answer #5 · answered by XX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a horrible person!!! Now think on his view points and how he would feel about that? Now think about if he cheated on you with his high school sweetheart and had sex with her numerous amounts of times!!!
Shame on you!
2007-02-04 23:32:50 · answer #6 · answered by basspro420 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's OK, sometimes you just need to get these things out of your system... You've wanted to for a long time, you got the chance and you took it.. you're only human.
2007-02-04 23:29:24 · answer #7 · answered by JT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You either need to tell your bf now or just leave him...there is no "forgeting" about this
Once a whore, always a whore
2007-02-04 23:38:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the reason you feel bad is b/c you know it was wrong sorry you made your bed, sleep in it
2007-02-04 23:28:05 · answer #9 · answered by Carrie H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋