My co-workers automatically assumed that they were invited to my wedding as soon as I announced my engagement. For personal reasons I am unable to invite my co-workers. I would like to celebrate with them at a shower. How do I word my regrets. My fiance and I both have large families. We are having a private ceremony in my parent's backyard
2007-02-04 15:15:38 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
This is not a ploy to get gifts. I feel bad about not being able to invite them.
2007-02-04 15:19:27 · update #1
Just explain to them that because of the size of your families and the limited amount of money and space, that you you could only invite family. If you want to make it even better, comment about how some distant family members couldn't even be invited. They should respect your situation. I can't believe people just have the nerve to assume they are invited and then vocalize it.
Don't plan your own work shower. If your co-workers want to do something nice for you and they plan one, then thank them. That's about all you can do in this situation.
2007-02-04 15:23:07 · answer #1 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you can't ask a person to a shower and then NOT invite them to the wedding. Also, you really can't throw yourself a shower, so it would really be up to the co-workers if they wanted to throw one for you. All you can really do is mention how small of a wedding it will actually be, and also, maybe not discuss the wedding too much/at all after that. The more they hear about the wedding plans, the more they are going to think they will be invited. Maybe you could ask them all out for a lunch before the wedding so there will be no hard feelings
2007-02-04 15:30:06 · answer #2 · answered by MelB 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your co workers that you are having a small close family only wedding at your parents house. If they want to give you a gift, they will do so even if you do not invite them to the wedding. I do not think you should invite them to a "shower" because gift is imply ed. Go out with them for dinner and drinks if you want to celebrate with them.
2007-02-07 09:28:23 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do in this situation is to avoid frequent discussions regarding your wedding plans. The more involved your co-workers are in your discussions, the more they are going to assume that they are invited. Only discuss your wedding plans with them when they initiate it the conversation. And when they do, limit your discussions with them. Be sure to let them know that you are a having a private ceremony in your parent's backyard and unfortunately have to limit your guests to family members. Of course there is nothing wrong celebrating with them in a shower if they decide to host one for you at your office, but you should not invite them to any of your showers that your family members or friends may be hosting outside of work. Only invited guests to your wedding should be invited to your personal shower outside of work.
2007-02-04 15:32:54 · answer #4 · answered by Veronica W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your co-workers are cool, they will understand. Just let them know that you are having a very private ceremony and are limited on the number of guests you can have. Having a shower and inviting them is a good idea, I don't think anyone would be offended.
2007-02-08 13:28:39 · answer #5 · answered by Cindy C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they aren't invited to the wedding, they should not be invited to a shower. I would be so mad if I found out someone thought I was good enough to buy them a gift, but not good enough to be invited to the wedding. I know that is not the message you intend to communicate, but TRUST ME that is how it will be interpreted!
2007-02-05 00:35:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to explain anything. It's your wedding. But one thing you could do is have a Jack and Jill where everyone is welcomed to attend. That way, all your co-workers can celebrate with you and they won't feel left out.
2007-02-04 15:20:53 · answer #7 · answered by Luvy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain the situation to them honestly and then maybe they will on their own suggest that they throw you a shower at work. I am sure if you are honest with them, they will understand.
2007-02-04 15:19:11 · answer #8 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding. Lots of people have private weddings and I am sure most people will understand!
2007-02-04 15:53:57 · answer #9 · answered by BellyRubz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just suggest a coffee morning. Tell them you would love to have them all but the numbers are too high.
2007-02-04 15:41:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋