I am disabled. Aunt tries to overthrough every desision i make.?

Question

1st am not asking how to be disabled. Well aware. Asking specifically on how to handl overbearing aunt who treats me like a child and intentionally launches into long speeches on why i should do should do something around family. This is after i told her no. She intentionally sabatoged two things imp to me over christmas. Not asking advice on how to be disabled. Already know, and non disabled people have nothing of any importance to add to a total strangter they dont know circumpstances of disability. Very condescending and will recieve low rating. I am asking how to when an aunt intentionally tries to go over head over things that do not involve her and she is not paying for around family, how do i handle situation. Especially when in private, i told her no.

I a thirty five. I live alone. My aunt does not support me financially. She has spent time with me sice moving here. However she continuously argues whatever i do is wrong. She pops off what i should do ",,,,,and thats all there is to it" all the time. It does not involve her usually and i did not ask. She decided she was going to move into two different apt buildings that i lived in. I told her no. She told me last time if she did there was nothing i could do about it. HMmm. I spend more time with her than anyone else in family does. She does pay for stuff when we go out. I do not need anything she ever gives me and have put an end to it. When she moved down she started telling me not to let my bf who she had never met not to take advantage of me. Known friend 8 years at that point. Every friend... dont let them take advantage. Had two things at christmas that did not involve her. She decided i should change plans into something that did. then she wen in front of fam and announced it

I thought i had asked disabled people only because frankly non disabled people have tendency to make everything sound so easy, the reason they think that is they have no experience. Thank you to the lady that could not even respect that one wish. You help no one. My aunt moveed back into town when i was thirty. I live alone. I recieve support from family but not her. I resent her going over head in stuff she is not involved with at all. She does this in front of family and it is obvious she is bragging. It is an attention getter. She never mentions when telling her plans for me that i said no. She sabotoges me. And when she pops off unwanted advi9ce she goes Thats all their is to it. Other family members realize she does this. they dont like her. They dont knwo what to say to her to get her to staop and neither do it. I spend alot of time with aunt out of niceness. I no longer enjoy her company because of this. I have my own friends and if she continues it will not involve her

Answer 1

Just ignore her unwanted advice and be yourself. I am blind so I know how you feel. Do any thing you want to do so long as you hurt no one. Live, laugh and love. Do not tell your aunt your plans so she can't sabotage them

Answer 2

Hello! I am not disabled BUT!!!! please hear me out. I am a mother of 2 disabled children and we think that you need us on everything.I have a 12 year old son with autiusm and a 13 year old with an aqired brain injury. Now my autisic child cannot speak so he needs lots of help and doesn't mind.BUT with my 13 year old, boy did I ever have a hard time with him an his additude towards me and I sat down with him one day and ask him what the problem was and he was very straight forward just like his mother lol! And he told me that you need to relax and let me try and decide things on my own, mom I have a dissability but I know right from wrong and if I need your help your always there for me and I'll ask you for your help. So he was very positive about himself and forward with me. And this it what I think you should do, is sit down with your Aunt and be serious with her and let her know how you feel and that if she wants to help fine but please just let me have some space with my own decisions. You know something ever since my son talked to me things have been alot better around the homestead and we both get along better than ever before and alot of times I want to say things but I let him try more on his own because I know he can do it but I just worry about him.

Well I hope this may have helped you in some way and I'm very positive that when you speak to your Aunt she will take it seriously!

Good luck and take care.

Answer 3

Aunts can be very overwhemling - and overbearing - I know because I am one. Does this Aunt have children? I ask, because I have none and I seem to care a lot over my Nieces and wish I could over my Nephew ( hi Sam - I still love you no matter what) -we can try so hard sometimes to love, that we do not hear the person we love screaming at us - just to leave them a lone - I hear you tried to tell her in private and that was very kind! Very thoughtful. Could you write it down in a letter - maybe she would understand then... I have learn to let my nieces grow up and learn somethings on their own... life can be hard no matter who you are - and us Aunts try too hard sometimes to make life easier and while we are trying so hard we are not paying attention that we are just making things worse.
And maybe she is just one of those people who want to put a show on in front of people - I really do not have much time for those kind of people - when we have family get togethers and that one "show off" "do gooders" shows up and starts to open their mouth - I head off to another room until they have done their showing off and then I kind of ease back into the room...
...try spelling it out in words on papers for her - but do it kindly and do not ever put anything on paper that can be used against you - other then that - if it is really bad - I guess you could pray that the Lord would make her leave you a lone and realize You Are Someone Who can and will take care of life by yourself...
maybe you could talk to which ever parent she is related to and ask them to ask her to lay off... I could give you my niece's email address -she knows how to put me in my place if I get out of hand Loving her too much.
Good Luck! Sounds like you are going to need it with this Aunt!

But not this Aunt - good night!

Answer 4

tell her you are no less of a humanbeing b/c of your disability and tell her how she makes you feel and that you are perfectly able to make your own decisions. if she still is rude to you like this involve other family members to the situation. if your grandmother is still with you i would go to her about this< in my family my grandma rules the family, they do what she wants lol> if not someone else very well respected by your aunt for another point of view of the situation! good luck!

Answer 5

I am disabled, also. Unless you explain some things like how old you are, whether or not you live with your aunt, and what the limits of your disability are, then it's difficult to understand the situation clearly enough to give you a usable answer.

Answer 6

First of all, I sence your frustration...and also your rudeness. You are asking for input from "total strangers w/o disablities" yet come across as rude. I am sure you need to learn to express yourself with dignity and firmness. I could care less if this gets a "low rating". I suggest that you re-read your letter, correct your spelling, and earn the right to be answered with the concern I am sure people would give you willingly. Hang in there, no doubt you need support and a friend.

Answer 7

Try to be strong and assertive with your aunt. She should know that you are capable of making your own decisions regardless or your disability. Once you establish this rule, she will know her boundaries and respect you.

Answer 8

You should tell her that although you are physically disabled, your mind works quite well, and you would like the "priveledge" of making your own decisions. Tell her that you are old enough and smart enough to make decisions alone and when she acts this way, it is demeaning.

Answer 9

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