My cousin is due to have her first child in one month and she hasn't even bought one single item for the baby! I think that is absurd and shows a sign of neglect. What if she went into premature labor? What the hell would she even dress the kid in? How would she get the baby home without a car seat? I am really concerned about what type of mommy she will be... she doesn't seem like she is too happy to become a mommy at all!
2007-02-04 15:06:39 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I think it is neglect that the mother hasn't bought anything for the baby. Yes can go into preterm labor and if she doesn't have a car seat to take the baby home then they will not let her take the baby home. Does she think that her parents or other family and maybe friends is going to get every thing she needs for the baby? It might even be possible that she is going to give the baby up for adoption since you said that she doesn't happy to be a mommy. YOu might even need to sit down and talk to her to see what is going on and why she hasn't bought anything for the baby.
2007-02-04 15:15:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
haven't read past the first answer... she seems to be onto something.. maybe your cousin is waiting for a baby shower before she buys anything... especially if money is tight? maybe, especially if she has not had one yet, she is getting a bit down in the dumps about the baby... and lack of excitement other people around her have... maybe it is rubbing off on her... or she might be scared, feeling alone.... feeling like she won't be a good enough mom... geez... there could be and prbably are all these questions, thoughts ideas.... I know they went thru my head... but? what I was going to suggest was that when I was pregnant with my first, my mother inlaw at the time refused to go to a shower if given for me before the baby's birth, or buy anything prior to birth (forbade her family to as well) because of a friend of hers years before... they did all that and were eagerly waiting, and unfortunately, the baby was preterm... did not make it.... so there was this depressed mommy coming home to a house full of baby things... everyone around her swore from then on.. they would not do showers or buy one baby thing for anyone close to them pregnant.... not till they see the baby... superstition..... goes a long way.... even after I pointed out that women rarely had problems like that and then found out this happened in the fifties? well... you never know why your cousin is acting this is all I am saying... you should talk to her... in a round about way, ask... does the baby need anything? have you gone shopping? do YOU need anything? how are you feeling? anything works... just open those lines up.... don't assume she is not a good mom.... but help her to be ready, and to be the best mom for your newest cousin to be! :) you already showed you love him/her... with your concern.....
2007-02-04 15:41:32 · answer #2 · answered by elusive_001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so. My husband and I aren't going to buy anything until the baby comes. My husband is going to buy a car seat while I'm at the hospital. I want a pink one for a girl and a blue one for a boy. We don't know what we're having. I've bought one outfit for a boy and one for a girl. I have a few things that are for either a boy or a girl. A lot of people think this is ridiculous. Many people don't understand why.
Your cousin might just have her own reasons. Good Luck! :)
2007-02-04 16:33:16 · answer #3 · answered by Mom of 3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow aren't you the judgemental one. Many don't buy things till closer to the date as they feel it is bad luck in case something happens to the baby. Rather than criticise her why not ask if you can help in anyway. It may be they are busy or are waiting till they have enough money to go out and purchase everything together. If she goes in to prem labour her family can still get a seat and get it installed before she gets home. There could be a million reasons. So instead of pegging her as neglectful and a bad mum how about you be a better person and talk to her first on her reasons.
2007-02-04 15:23:28 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's ridiculous. I could have done all my baby shopping in two days. Unless you're 100% sure of what her intentions are, her financial status, and her daily schedule it's absurd to judge her. BTW, my kids lived in onesies and diapers for the first 6 weeks, it's totally unnecessary to have a full wardrobe. You can even rent a car seat AT THE HOSPITAL after giving birth if you haven't had a chance to buy one yet, it's seriously like $10/mo. Maybe you should worry more about your own self and get off her case.
2007-02-04 17:45:39 · answer #5 · answered by tiny_dog10 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's planning on putting the child up for adoption and therefore doesn't need any bbay supplies.
If she is going to keep it, maybe someone is throwing her a shower in another week or something. The hospital will NOT allow her to take the baby home if they do not watch her buckle it into a carseat, though. I think it's wierd to not have bought anything. I bought my first baby thing the week I found out I was pregnant.
2007-02-04 15:52:12 · answer #6 · answered by Queen Queso 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geesh - it sounds like people on here are being a little harsh. Maybe it just won't really be "real" to her until she sees her baby. Yes, she should plan ahead a little more, but I've known people that were just so afraid something would go wrong they waited until the last minute - and they're very good parents now. Hopefully, she'll come around. Maybe she's just overwhelmed thinking about it. It is a very exciting, but anxiety-producing time for most people.
Try not to make her feel guilty - just offer some support (and maybe a trip to Babies R Us)
2007-02-04 15:14:03 · answer #7 · answered by java girl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She might be in denial (if she doesn't think about it, somehow it will all just go away). Not everyone is happy and looking forward to mommyhood.
Maybe she can't afford to buy things for the baby (granted a pair of socks doesn't cost much but a quality car seat is expensive)
Maybe she's planning on giving the child up for adoption.
Maybe she really, reallly hated to shop
If you are close, maybe you should ask her and address your concerns (try not to couch it in terms of her being irresponsible, but rather in terms of your concern for her because she seem underprepared)
Hope this helps
2007-02-04 15:22:50 · answer #8 · answered by LX V 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have known some people who did not buy or prepare anything for the baby until the baby was born. The believed it was bad luck to do so earlier. It is not a sign of child neglect. It will be her responsibility to make sure the baby has all those things once it is born, and while I agree, it is better to be prepared, it is not neglect that she isn't.
2007-02-04 15:15:55 · answer #9 · answered by Shelley 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Neglect is not feeding a child, not keeping the child warm, not giving the child the attention and love that he or she needs.
Not buying things yet? Not neglect at all!
Alot of women wait until their baby showers before they start buying things for the baby. Maybe your cousin is one of those women. Either way, it's not neglect.
Have you bothered to ask your cousin why she hasn't bought anything for the baby yet? How do you even know for sure that she hasn't? Maybe she has and just hasn't told you about it.
This child isn't even here yet! Give the woman a break!
2007-02-04 15:12:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋