To my bf for valentines day.
We have been together 3 1/2 months. He is 14......we haven't said "I love you" yet....
Is this a good poem?
What should I change?
Thanks!! ;-)
Have a great day!!
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Do you remember the time I first talked to you?
“You know she likes you, right”
Those were my words
I never thought it was me
who would be yours!!
When you're around
you light up my day
I'm so glad I've found you
don't ever go away
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Prince Charming is great
and so are you!
This Valentines Day
I just wanted to say
how special to me you are
in so many ways.
*Roses are red
violets are blue
nothing is better than being with you!!
2007-02-04 14:28:24 · 15 answers · asked by ♥Charming's Princess♥ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Awesome! Just change "don't ever go away" to I'm so glad you're not gay.
2007-02-04 14:31:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Content wise, it's your poem and you should say what you feel. So I won't touch that part. But grammatically, I'll give you a few tips.
“You know she likes you, right”
Those were my words
I never thought it was me
who would be yours!!
This paragraph is a little confusing. "You know she likes you, right" makes it sound like you are telling your boyfriend that another girl likes him. And if for some reason you were talking to him about another girl, you wouldn't want to put that in a poem about you and him.I'm not sure what you're wanting to say, so I'd suggest you change it a little bit.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Prince Charming is great
and so are you!
I don't really like the part about Prince Charming in this paragraph. I makes it sound like, "Wow, Prince Charming is great....oh, and I suppose you're pretty good too." It makes it sound like he's coming in second.
This Valentines Day
I just wanted to say
how special to me you are
in so many ways.
It would sound better her it you changed it to "You are so special to me in so many ways."
Hope this helps.
2007-02-04 14:40:32 · answer #2 · answered by Sam-I-Am 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like all of it. I might change the "don't ever go away" line just cause I think you can say that without actually saying it ... if that makes any sense. But maybe your bf is cool & won't mind that you always want him around. Anyway, it's a really cute poem & I'm sure he'll love it!
2007-02-04 14:32:27 · answer #3 · answered by momstheword78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
me likes this very a lot. A universal message for change, one extra time. the sturdy human beings may accept as true with you each and every and each and every of ways, although the rats and weasels right here at yahoo attempting to delete the sturdy artwork of the human beings, are there interior the outdoors huge circle. you change the light fixtures on, make a beacon, yet bats favor darkness. you pick to shrink the point of lack of understanding to 0, yet they could't bear intelligence.. they're knowledgeable sobs who only hate to make certain somebody else makes it via! me consents with you, and a change should be carried out.
2016-11-25 02:34:23 · answer #4 · answered by meikle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't change anything. It's from your heart and in the long run what comes from our heart matters a lot more than something from someone elses mouth. Stick to it, he'll love it.
2007-02-04 14:34:26 · answer #5 · answered by fish_named_elephant 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great!! But maybe if you wanted to change that last verse to say "in every single way" just so that it would rhyme more with "say" but either way it sounds good!
2007-02-04 14:33:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love it! At least you can get a valentine lol. I don't think you should change anything. I hope you have fun!
2007-02-04 14:33:38 · answer #7 · answered by tomboyxo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do u remember the first time i talked to u?
the best part of it is that you took your time to put your feelings into something. if you like it be proud of it, that is all that should matter. I am sure he will like it
2007-02-04 14:32:54 · answer #8 · answered by Eastcoast beachgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't change a thing. It is a good poem.
2007-02-04 14:32:31 · answer #9 · answered by Clara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i love it.... i wouldn't even think about changing a thing... i wish i could write a poem like that
2007-02-04 14:34:25 · answer #10 · answered by ladybug 555 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋