I'm kind of older (like over 24) and have never had sex. I've had opportunities but I'm too nervous/afriad to do it. How do I get over my fears?
2007-02-04 13:37:58 · 50 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
don't force it or you'll regret it. Just let it happen naturally and remember everyone is nervous and shy about it the first time.
2007-02-04 13:40:26 · answer #1 · answered by Fletcher 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I was 26 when I first had sex. I 've been living in Hong Kong since I was 16, and am a European female, so it was very hard for me to find someone who truly cherished me. To cut it short, all men want Asians (here at least) and all Asians want Asians (thinking all non-chinese girls are easy). Anyways, I waited until I found the one man I felt comfortable with and who loved me and didnt pressure me into doing anything I didnt want. If you feel nervous, then he isnt the right one. You may feel nervous because you are "older" and he may think you are lying about never having sex and you think you wont be up to "level", but if that man is really in love with you, he will wait. He will respect your decision. Its not teenage sex anymore with the "If you love me then you should do it with me", where virgins are the price to get. True, some older men still want it (for fear of comparison? how lame), but you will know in your heart when you are ready, it will come naturally, without the need for alcohol to lower your inhibitions. and yes, masturbation is a good thing, at least you will know what turns you on and it will help when the whole love making happens. No pressure.
2007-02-04 17:05:22 · answer #2 · answered by Skyblue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from someone who lost their virginity at an early age. IT IS NOT WORTH IT!!!!!! I have so many regrets about doing it, and wished I had waited until I was married. There is so much to worry about, STDs, AIDS, and unplanned pregnancy. I was 17 when I got pregnant, now don't get me wrong I love my child and don't regret having him, but it was difficult. I realize you are older than I was, but think of the impact some of these consequences would have on your life. People are way to casual about sex today too. You never know who exactly you are sleeping with. Just a few things to think about. Good Luck with your decision.
2007-02-04 13:44:49 · answer #3 · answered by kt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find someone that you truly love and trust. I am nervous about everything that I may do and I got over my fears of having sex my talking to my partner and had him reassured me of the fears that I may have. Trust is the biggest thing that will help you be lest nervous.
2007-02-04 13:42:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a random number to use in a approximation. Like over 24? So, 25?
Anyway, when I was in high school I had a friend who had the same problem. I offered to help her out by walking her through the motions of having sex. It was really surreal for me, but she sure appreciated it. I would explain what I was going to do and what it would feel like and then I did it. She thought it was amazing. I thought it was mechanical.
2007-02-04 13:42:06 · answer #5 · answered by bosstone75 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your scared that just means your not ready when you find the right person and you are truly ready mentally, and its the right time youll know you shouldnt feel scared or uncomfortable and until that feeling goes away, well then your just not ready, Its not a bad thing When its the right time you wont even think about being scared, youll just be caught up in the moment and in love (ideally) and so nothing else will matter dont settle till your ready. youll thank yourself later. good luck
2007-02-06 16:20:27 · answer #6 · answered by lillies4lynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've waited this long, I hope you will continue to wait and not take the plunge until you're married. You should be extremely proud of yourself - because it's hard to put off sex in today's highly over-sexed society.
2007-02-04 13:41:48 · answer #7 · answered by Marvelissa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This may sound bad. But alcohol will usually lower your fear level. It will also help with the pain the first time expecially if your hymen is intact. Or if you want to totally eliminate the pain from the first time you could eliminate it yourself with a vibrator. That way you will have eliminated the fear of pain at least.
2007-02-04 13:42:54 · answer #8 · answered by aiguyaiguy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you are one of the lucky ones. I wouldn't rush anything... I mean the perfect opportunity will arrive one day, and when it does, it will seem sooo natural to you. Thank your lucky stars that you still have what others regret losing at such a young age. Believe me, that lucky 'significant other' will one day be happy that you are a virgin, and if he/she isn't, then drop them and move on!!!!!!! Good luck!
2007-02-04 13:41:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What exactly are you afraid of? Ask yourself that. Keep asking, and ask yourself for the truth. Eventually you'll see that so long as you find a good person to do it with there isn't really anything to fear.
2007-02-04 13:40:48 · answer #10 · answered by fret_guy89 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
who says it is something you have to get over? while i have had numerous sexual experiences with numerous women, that is what works for me. if it does not work for you then there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. i have know a good number of people who have waited for love or even marriage and there is nothing wrong with that. if you really are scared then there is a problem but if its your conscience telling you to wait listen to it. i think if you look inside yourself then you will be able to find the answer you are looking for. good luck
2007-02-04 13:43:48 · answer #11 · answered by big_john_719 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋