My 9 year old son has been staying with my uncle for 2 weeks on holiday, my uncle has a 13 year old son, who has in the last year decided he wants to be a gangsta wannaB. Now I KNOW my son can be naughty and bad, i admit it. But since he has been home he has bullied younger children, stolen smokes, smoked ciggy's ( i smelt it on him) and lied about almost everything. Before he left he hated ciggys i gave up 6 months ago after he asked me to. He has never stolen before, he works for everything he wants pocket money wise. And he has always been good with younger and smaller children, looking after them, being really gentle. he has come home with a total mind make over Help How Do i Get my Son Back? My 13 Year old cousin now calls my 9 year old his prospector gang wannab.
2007-02-04 13:18:44 · 9 answers · asked by disturbedxxcalmness 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
i had a similar problem with my son and my brother teaching him things(my brother being 10 yrs younger than me). we basically made my son responsible for his own actions the day he sent his little brother to the hospital ... he was 6 and his brother 2. he had hit hit brother over the head with a brick slicing open his head and then tossed him up against his bed ripping off his lip... i was so mad i couldnt look at him. while the baby was in surgery i made the oldest child clean up the blood, then he went to the hospital and watched as the baby screamed in terror as they reconstructed his face.
after that we have a ZERO tollerance policy.
if he steals (which he tried once) he must go back to the person, return the product(or pay for it but not getting to keep it), and he must loudly tell the owner and everyone around that he stole the product and that he cant be trusted.
if he smokes he must smoke til he pukes.. thank god he hates cigs now with a passion. even refuses to be around a smoker.
once he even used the term "whatz up *****"... we had a big old talk right after my husband knocked my brother around a bit and made him bite down on a soggy bar of soap. we looked at my son and told him what the term meant and said if it was ever said again he'd be next.
I AM GLAD TO REPORT THAT HE IS BACK TO BEING A WONDERFUL CHILD.. i dont think i have even had to do more than say "DO WHAT" in the last 4 years. he has however told his uncle that he doesnt care how cool it is that mommy boot camp isnt worth it. his school says he is very polite and never in any trouble, and he doesnt act out here anymore either so i think he is going to grow up without any damage done... my brother on other hand has gone downhill and didnt learn but he will have 3 yrs at croessbar hotel to get it together.
2007-02-04 13:36:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be harsh. As a young child he depends on you 100%. I liked the ideas of your first commenter -- but I'd like to give a few other ones...
Bullying younger children? -- Scare him. go to a police station, talk to them and set up a way for them to scare him into not doing that. He is young, yes, but if you don't act now than he will be WORSE. A lot of police stations take kids to jails or just to talk to ex-cons who scare them straight VERY fast, or even just an officer talking to them can really help. (putting them in a cell to see what can happen...etc)
Smoking? -- EASY. Make him smoke in front of you. A WHOLE pack. Bad for him yes, but it might save his life in the long run by making him hate it even more.
Lying? -- Simple. Take things away. Just take away all privilages you give him. Games, toys, phones, everything. TV computer, you name it -- take it away. Everytime you know 100% that he is honest -- give something back. He needs to EARN things.
If you don't teach him now it will be to late because he will think he can get away with anything. Also, talk to his uncle about his new behavior. It's serious. Tell him that unless HIS son shapes up, they will NOT be spending time with each other EVER again.
2007-02-04 16:01:26 · answer #2 · answered by xxxdarksakuraxxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normally sexual preference tendencies don't really manifest until puberty or very close to the onset of puberty. He may be showing gay tendencies early or he may be just showing his affection for his friends. If he pulls away when you come into the room, he has gotten the idea from somewhere that it is frowned upon to hold his buddy's hand. He may just be a very sensitive young man and holding hands is a good way for him to empathize with his buddy. I don't think at this point you need to set down and have a serious discussion with him. When you come across him holding hands with his friend, just reassure him that it is OK. Don't make him feel self-conscious about it. But you need to keep him reassured that is OK, but some people may not like what he is doing.
2016-05-24 08:53:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would have a serious talk with him, get him into some counseling for his smoking and the gangsta stuff and then you should not let him go to your uncles anymore. obviously going there has been a bad influence to him and if you want your son back that is exactly what you are going to have to do. hope this helps. good luck.
2007-02-04 13:58:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please, talk with a counselor asap--and maybe get him into counseling. Talk with your local police dept. too about any ides they may have to help him stop this behavior quickly. Keep the 13 yr old and your son away from each other as much as you can-and more! Is your son trying to "fit in"? to what? Ground your son-straight to school and straight home-no friends over, no phone calls, etc. till he straightens up, or at least two weeks. Also, please, to start, have a sit-down serious talk with him, get his perspective on all of this. Take care.
2007-02-04 13:54:39 · answer #5 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show your son what happens to "gangstas" scare him by telling that you will send him to boot camp and if it dosen't work send him a day ,week, or as long as you like and yes no contact with cuzzzzzz
2007-02-04 15:55:41 · answer #6 · answered by shizzle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ban all contact with his cousin. Then strip his room off all things except matteress and blanket and make him earn it all back through respect and good behaviour
2007-02-04 15:09:27 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should never have him stay at your brother's, this probably would never have happened.
2007-02-05 03:40:15 · answer #8 · answered by Pauly W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ever tried physical discipline like with belt or ruler?
2007-02-04 19:58:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋