Am I over-reacting about my 11 month old son's diet?

Question

My ex took my son for his first unsupervised visit yesterday. I gave him instructions on what he eats, I only give my son organic foods, I make all of his baby food, and he never eats sweets. My son came home covered in icing and when I asked what it was from, my ex told me that he had given my son a cinnamon roll, and then tried to tell me it's not big deal because cinnamon rolls do not have sugar in them (and he's in school to be a nurse!). I got upset with him for going against my instructions, and he said I was overreacting. I really don't think I was. I feel that whie I have the chance to influence my son on his eating habits, I should take advantage of it. Am I nuts for trying to keep him away from sugary foods?

Answer 1

you are NOT nuts........
I know he is the baby's dad and he gets a say too......blah blah blah......
but let's face it........what 11 month old needs sugar?? NONE. I have been keeping my daughter completely away from sweets. she will be allowed to have cake at her 1st birthday and then she can have special treats at special times. but even my doc recommends keeping the baby away from sugary foods until she is 2. your son is too young to learn "moderation" at this point. so he would be better off having no sugar now. He does not need cinnamon rolls at 11 months.
also I read in a book that if you keep kids off of the junk until they are 2, they have much better eating habits as they grow up. You are doing a great job!!!

Answer 2

Unfortunately, you have very little control over what your ex does when he has your son, especially when the visits are unsupervised. You can hope that he'll respect your wishes to only feed your son certain things, but he's under no legal obligation to do so, and there's nothing you can really do about it.

That's great that you want him to eat healthy and not have too much sugar, but not having any is pretty much nearly impossible. I give my daughter a sweet snack every once in a while, either as a treat for behaving, or because I'm having one, and I give her only a small bit, not a lot. It hasn't caused any major problems. As long as she's not eating something sweet every day, every meal, a little bit every once in a while won't hurt.

to Soon to Be Mommy - if the court is giving him unsupervised visitation, then her ex has the right to feed the child whatever he wants when he has him. It would be behind her back if they agreed to feed the child one way and then he did something different. But if he never agreed to do the organic thing, then she has no right to complain. All she can do is talk with him and get him to agree to it. But if he won't, that's his right as well.

Answer 3

I'd say lighten up a bit. First, during his visitation, what he says goes, unless it's illegal or dangerous. You'll have to respect that, as much as it sucks. Secondly, it's not like he fed the kid something he's allergic to, or deadly. Organic foods are not a mandate, they are a preference. I prefer my kids not eat processed meats and stuff like that, and in my home I do not allow it but at their dads they eat that crap and there isn't anything I can do about it. I just am grateful that they eat with me the majority of the time and that the quality diet I give them mitigates the crap they eat at their dad's. But really, a cinnamon roll? Let the kid live a little. I suspect this is less a nutritional issue and more a control issue, personally.

Answer 4

You are right in being concerned about what your child eats, but a once in a while treat won't hurt him. And the child's father, has a right to treat his child too, since he only has visitation, and you have him almost all the time, he probably wanted to make the visit extra fun, and gave him something he doesn't get at home, (cut the ex a little slack, he was just trying to have a good time with his son).When I had my first child, I too fixed my own baby vegetables,(no salt), started with veggies, before fruit so she would not get a sweet tooth. Left her with my mother one afternoon when she was 10 months, my mother gave her one of those cookies with the "cream filling", nothing but lard & sugar!! I kinda freaked out, found the crumbs in her neck crease, my mothers responce was "well it's MY only grandchild, and I will give her a treat". No use arguing with relatives that love your baby too. ON a post note, when I had my 2nd child, I was too tired to be overly picky, stopped trying to force relatives from providing the forbidden junk food, joke was on me, both are in college now, first child will eat friut, some veggies,but won't touch salad or raw veggies, 2nd child seems to live on sushi & salalds. Go figure??

Answer 5

I don't think you are nus in what you are doing, I think you are just doing it in a way that may hurt your child later. My aunt did the same thing with my two cousins. They became great eaters and really healthy... until they hit middle school. As soon as they were around sweets they didn't have the self control that most kids have and would gorge. For awhile there, my cousin gained mad amounts of weight because she would gorge and binge until she was sick everytime she had access to candy. I think you should teach your child to eat sweets, but in moderation.

Until then, your child is 11 months old and treats won't hurt him. I suggest sitting down with your ex and discussing why you want to feed organic. If he thinks it will take too much time or whatnot, offer to prepare and freeze foods for your child, or come to a reasonable compromise.

Answer 6

I think 11 months is a little early to have a complete cinnamon roll to himself. But a taste of one would have been fine (at least to me.)
The problem is, that it is his son too....

But no you aren't. Not really anyways. He is still a baby, and there is alot of sugar in one roll. (Think positive though. Most of the sugary frosting is probably on his face, not in his tummy. : ) )
I understand you wanting your son to only have foods that are organic. Most people I know don't let their kids try sugary foods until they are 2 or 3. If this is his first unsupervised visit, I'm assuming he did something to cause him not to get them before. Tell him if he doesn't follow your rules, you might have to go back to supervised visits (if thats possible.)

Answer 7

Rather than simply dictating to your ex, you need to sit down with him and have a conversation. You two need to be on the same page about nutrition, and it would be wrong for either of you to go behind the other's back on things you don't agree about.

Obviously we all know that icing has sugar in it--its the number one ingredient. And children under the age of 1 shouldn't have refined sugars.

Give the guy some credit. He's there when a lot of guys have already flown the coop.

Answer 8

aren't you being a little neurotic ?Of course you don't want to give him junk everyday, but i think the occasional treat is okay. My son is 5 years old. He eats very healthy, lots of fruits and veggies, yogurts and cheeses for snacks. Sometimes he wants a candy or cookie but he will pick a water over a soda, or tell me that he would like carrot sticks instead of a cookie. You teach your son to eat healthy not just by supplying the foods but by teaching him self control. One day he will be old enough to make his own decisions and you'll want him to have that self control, right? but by being that strict, he may go the other direction and want to eat junk foods whenever you aren't around because he knows you dont approve. Be a little easier, especially because its with his Dad, im sure Dad loves him just as much as you do, and should have the same opportunity to parent.

Answer 9

I know your intentions are good, but i do think you are over-reacting. you son will go to school one day and trust me if you say organic anywhere in that school they will double over in fits of laughter. heck i cant even get them to stop serving hotdogs, but i did get tuna salad as a daily option to other foods.

you can only protect a child to a very small degree because your child must be able to deal with society. if he is only allowed organic food he will be treated so bad at school because he will not be able to do things with other kids like go to birthday parties, sleep over at friends houses,or go to the movies and have popcorn. he will be completely issolated from his peers.

do what you can at home, but remember that this childs health centers around more than just food.

Answer 10

no your not nuts, but you are over reacting a bit, you are in a tough spot because you have to share your son, but it is his dad, you do your job, and your child will be fine, loosen up instead of giving lists just try telling dad that if he steers clear of sugary foods your son will behave better for him, if you make a big issue he will go against you just to aggravate you, your letting him win, don't