my bf and i are both in our mid 30s and he asked me to marry him.hes divorced with a child,little savings,and a debt of 18k.i'm never married,100k in stocks,bonds,savings, and no children.i love him dearly and plan on staying with him till death but you never know what the future holds.i just would hate to see all my money that i worked so hard for go to his exwife.what do u think if u were in my spot what would u do?
2007-02-04 12:52:54 · 30 answers · asked by karenbshy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Go ahead.
2007-02-04 12:55:31 · answer #1 · answered by zen522 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, have him sign the pre-nup. All men and women entering into a union need one, regardless of love or other factors, including financial concerns, children, or infidelity. We already know that more than 7 out of 10 marriages fail.
If he is not comfortable signing a traditional prenup, how about puting an expiration date on a prenup? Terms should be 5, 10, 15, or 20 years. After you have been married a certain amount of time the prenup would then be null and void. If he's got $18 k of debt, plus child support, I would reccomend setting the prenup to become void in 8 years with the stipulation that he reduces his debt by atleast $3,000 every year which equals $250/month or more. In 8 years he'll be debt free, and you'll both be happy. And, if things do become awry, you have saved yourself from financial devastation, of which you've worked so hard to acquire.
Good Luck and Congrats!
2007-02-04 13:05:43 · answer #2 · answered by TheJman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you both truly trust each other then i don't see any reason for a prenuptial to be in the picture. Now if you have any question in your mind that he would try anything underhanded then i would consider a prenup. But first discuss how you feel with him and why you might ask him to sign a pre nup and then listen to his point of view on the matter. If you two decide a pre nup would be for the best then so be it. If not then even better! Hope this helps!
2007-02-04 13:03:02 · answer #3 · answered by wickid_klown02 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
certain i imagine that that is smart to preserve your self and your resources. although you and your fiance love one yet another, and say that no longer some thing will happen, issues do happen and through signing the pre-nup you're only making particular that if some thing got here about, then you truly will be probability-free. all that you've saved and worked for, you dont pick to lose. all that to assert.......certain!!!!!! and being a woman to elevate the pre-nup is definatley smart! females are categorised as gold diggers, yet there are men accessible with an similar recommendations!
2016-11-25 02:17:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go with the pre-nup...it can be molded to fit your exact situation and doesn't have to be a slap in the face to him...really..my husband (got marrried in Nov.) both have, interestingly enough almost equal assets so there was not need for a pre-nup but we will need to do a will, I have 2 kids, he has none...I will provide for them in my will.
Don't hesitate, things do change and if I were you I would want to do it, others will say then why are you getting married and that is not the point, and once of protection truely is worth a pound of cure....good luck.
If he were to make a big huge stink about it, that would be a real clue that you really need one...
2007-02-04 13:00:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have no debts etc, but have always worked in a job where I have had no opportunity to save anything, as my rent and bills have always been my priority. My b/f earns even less than me, but his family own property. I have signed a prenup, I have no bother doing that, I don't want/need/desire anything his family has, so why would it be a problem? If he loves you and wants to be with you, then signing will not be an issue. I do believe that you must protect yourself and your assets.
2007-02-04 22:38:27 · answer #6 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've has the same talk with my boyfriend, and he's not too warm to the idea. Sit him down and talk to him about it. Don't mention his personal debts, just explain to him that in this day and age it's important to sit down and discuss what you're bringing into a marriage, and getting a prenup will help you both sort out those little fininacial details most couples never even think about before they marry.
2007-02-04 12:57:18 · answer #7 · answered by dolce 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not wrong. You are just being honest with yourself and him, and there is nothing wrong with that. Are you worrying how he would react to your request? I think his reaction depends on how you present the idea to him.
I can see both sides of the fence though. From your description, it seems like you should ask for a pre-nup to protect your assets. On the other hand, if you truly love him, wouldn't you love him enough to share your assets and his debts? (Perhaps, I'm a too romantic for thinking of for better or for worse.)
Just have a honest talk with him, but proceed with caution and with love & respect. One of my goodfriend has to call off their engagement because they couldn't agree on this issue. She asked for a prenup and her fiance was very offended. Good luck and congrats. on the engagement!
2007-02-04 15:04:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would deffinately get a pre-nup. It has nothing to do with how you feel about him. Its about protecting yourself, your future, and your life. You should let him know ahead of time that you are going to draw one out, and if he does not agree then he isn't taking your future into consideration, and do you really want to marry a person who doesn't want you to be secure even without him? Good luck!
2007-02-04 13:57:57 · answer #9 · answered by sweetti825 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest yes to sign a pre-nup. He should understand that you are just trying to protect yourself and your future with him. You don't want him to marry you for just your money or your investments and he should understand that. Just be honest and open with him about why you are doing this... its not like you think anything is going to happen or forsee a split... but you have to be realistic. Good luck, and I'd say go for it.
2007-02-04 13:40:24 · answer #10 · answered by smurfette 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
that's the right way to go. Tell him its for the protection of both of you. If he goes bankrupt in futre nobody will be able to toch your money, which is good for the family.
i have been thinking about this guy. you know what i would walk away. future does not look too good. He is marrying you for money untill and unless he offers himself to write a prenup, then you know he is serious. even in that prenup protect yourself. don't write a pprenup yourself, get a lawyer , it will cost you money, but you will be sure that prenup will stand in the court.
2007-02-04 12:57:33 · answer #11 · answered by Iqbal 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋