What is it with brown nosers?

Question

I have a coworker who will get to know the manager just because of his position. It has nothing to know with character. To me, the present GM is only only I consider worth knowing, she's on the managers like white on rice. She is devoid of pride.
There is a manager, under the GM, whom I have known since '95 and don't even know his middle name. Here this woman is knowing that another manager was born the day she finished hgih school. He's the age of her first born as well.
Maybe I should check to see if a manager has anniversary of my graduation which is 19th annversary of RFK's assasin: 6/5/87.
The woman even has privy to the privy to the price of lettuce; she is in my position.
She sits with the managers in the dining room and in the office. I state my business and go.

Answer 1

It's called survival.
Sucking up to the higher ups is a survival strategy in many social species. Not all individuals practice it, but many do, among humans, wolves, bison, etc.

Answer 2

So-called 'Yes' men (or women) are a scourge on the face of the world. They push themsleves into places where they do not belong and often pretend to know what's going on, always being non-committal with responses, but ALWAYS having a response-- much like a second-rate politician. Too sad, they are sometimes promoted.

Your situation could be a brown noser, or it could be that you are describing someone who is simply letting herself be known, and IMO there is a big difference.

Take me, for example, I am very opinionated about some things, and will be happy to say so. When I started working in a new company a few years ago (as a software developer), I had 10 years experience in the field and was indeed interested in climbing up the ladder. So, after a month or so I called some of the high-level software guys and invited them to lunch for some one-on-one chat sessions.

We chatted, had conversations about various technologies in use (and some they were considering using), and formed some friendly relationships. Did I always agree with them or say what I perceived that they wanted to hear? Certainly not. I did make sure that they knew me and that I wanted to take on more responsibility within the company. Soon, I was invited to meetings, invited to participate in various projects and became more known in the company. In some meetings I was an ***, being the only guy that stood my ground against the rest of the group regarding some decision I felt was wrong.

Was I brown nosing? Not at all. Was I politicking? Hell, yes. Is there anything wrong with it? I honestly don't think so. If you are prepared to show initiative and ask for more responsibility then doors can sometimes open for you that would otherwise remain closed.

The brown-nosers and 'yes-men' of the world carry no respect among their peers. They are the little pets of the manager they scuttle about after. The ineptitude is obvious to most. Just be careful that this person is truly trying to weasel into someplace they have no business in, instead of simply letting people know that she knows her stuff and that she might indeed be someone to listen to.

Answer 3

I am not sure why this is in the etiquette section, but I will say that brown nosers know next to nothing about etiquette because they are too busy being self-serving.

I cannot abide brown nosers simply because I don't like fake and/or servile people. However, from what you've written above, I cannot help but wonder if your complaint has more to do with professional jealousy than it does with poor etiquette.

Answer 4

Brown Nosing will take them only so far. But it will take them places.

hang in there, keep working, and yes, I hate to admit it, but find one of the bosses that you can be friendly with.

And definitely, definitely watch out for the Brown Noser that you wrote about. because they aren't just kissing up to the boss, they are most likely backstabbing all their co-workers. I never met a hard-core brown noser who didn't.

Of course, I also never met a hard-core Brown Noser who wasn't also put in their place eventually.

I have had a chance to talk to some "big bosses", and they also told me something really interesting about the hard-core brown-noser types. The bosses can see who they are, and what they really want - but they don't care. The bosses are more than happy to take advantage of the brown-noser, and make him/her do all kinds of unsavory extra work. Meanwhile, the bosses are just laughing it up, knowing that the brown noser is jumping through hoops for them.

Good luck - office politics sucks.

Answer 5

I can't believe that anyone in high position would not recognize a brown noser. You may think the B.N is in with the boss, but I'm willing to bet the boss keeps her around for fun and talks about her to her peers. To me there is nothing worse than a person who would lower themselves and kiss a-- to get where they want instead of earning the position with their brains. Don't be like that person. Keep your nose where it belongs and I bet you get a higher position than the "yes" girl.

Answer 6

Usually people want to get to know their boss better vice versa. Because corporate doesn't care about nameless faces. If the boss knows your kids names when your birthday is comming, they're less likely to ride your *** or fire ya...because they know who you are rather than an elf working their shift!

Answer 7

maybe she just gets on better with people than you do, and shows an interest. this is not necessarily a bad thing.

obviously, judging by this question, she is better able to express herself than you can.

i think this is more of a case of jealousy, then poor etiquette or brown nosing.