Plz help custody in pa?

Question

i am a mother of 4 boys ages now are 18 he has graduated and moved out on his own...then i have a 16 yr old son soon to be 17 then i have a 14 yr old son soon to be 15 then a 13 yr old son soon to be 14. my ex left us back in nov 1996 i had the children in my custody ever since....when he left i told him i was keeping custody of the boys so he told me fine and then i said about going for child support he told me if i did that then he would give up all his rights to the boys i didnt know the law so i thought he could then so i said fine cause i didnt want to be the blame for him not being in his kids life so i asked him what he could afford he said 50 aweek so he paid that when he did for 10 1/2 yrs till may 2006 i sued him for child support then he turned around and sued me for full custody ....none of our sons wants to live with him . he left his 2nd wife back in 2004 she was 5 months pregnant and they also have a 2 yr old son at that time .he went to a bar and never went home ...he left her for his new gf. well they live in a 3 bedroom well the gf has a son and a daughter the son is 10 the little girl is 6 they sleep in the same room the other women is a stranger she is handicapped living in the 3rd bedroom he has no rooms for my sons they sleep on the floor and couches . i have to go by the custody agreement made from 1997 when he left ,the kids were toddlers they do not want this set up no more . i have legal services tellin me i can not change this arrangement cause he is sueing me for full custody. well we went to a modified hearing we were both ordered to pay 1050 i paid he didnt he asked the judge to give him 6 months to come up with it which will take us to april 2007 ..since then he had moved from his 2 bedroom in new phila .to a three bedroom four blocks from where we live the boys asked me to do something about the visitation they only want to see him now on a saturday from like 9 to 6pm . i am being told by alot of ppl the kids will get to talk to the judge for my ex is telling the boys he has already won and they will be living with him and they have no choice? what do you think ? is it true?

thanks for your response,,,update wednesday the boys went to their dads for their visit ...the kids were horse playing in the house while dad was upstairs with his gf well he came running down and only went after the 14 yr almost hit him well then he told our sons that he has the right to come to my home and ground the kids and if i dont comply with it he is gonna call the court house and get custody ....can he actually come to my home and ground my kids or should i say tell me how to ground our kids in my home...i told him along time ago i ll ground them the way i see fit in my home you ground them your way ,as long as he doesnt hit our sons......thanks again ,.......tina

thanks for your response,,,update wednesday the boys went to their dads for their visit ...the kids were horse playing in the house while dad was upstairs with his gf well he came running down and only went after the 14 yr almost hit him well then he told our sons that he has the right to come to my home and ground the kids and if i dont comply with it he is gonna call the court house and get custody ....can he actually come to my home and ground my kids or should i say tell me how to ground our kids in my home...i told him along time ago i ll ground them the way i see fit in my home you ground them your way ,as long as he doesnt hit our sons......thanks again ,.......tina

Answer 1

I went through the same thing with my 3 year old. You can file a motion. Type up a letter ... @ the top of the page write
MOTION
Comes the defendant (your name) and ask the court to review and consider changing visitation for the best interest of the children (thier names & ages) (your name & address)
NOTICE
tAKE NOTICE THAT THIS MOTION WILL BE HEARD ON (DAY) (month) (year) @ (name of court house) (your name)
certificate
I certify that a copy was mailed to ( his name and address) on (date it was mailed) your signature


You set this court date your self Call the court house and ask for a court date 3 weeks from the day you call use the date they give you on the motion. Let me know how it goes GOOD LUCK
If you need any thing else E-Mail me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

First of all if his new grlf has any type of welfare and/or low rent housing it not right for a child over 5 to be sharing a rm w/a grl and u can use that against him. Let the judge know how he constantly leaves the children and women in his life and how he doesn't pay for the welfare of the children and or families he create.Besides I think the children are old enough to speak and the lawyers will also let them speak and they will get to hear the children's feelings and thoughts on there father.......don't worry honey have faith and u have God on your side this legal bondage will subside and pray about it the man upstairs wants u to be humble so pray on your knees.U are blessed to have these children in your life so do your best 2 hold them tight. U WILL WIN!!!!

Answer 3

In order for you husband to get custody. He will have make sure that each boy has his own room and that living arrangements are met. This is something you will need to bring up in court and all your sons are old enough to talk to the judge and let him know that they do not want live with the father. You could win this and also get back child support from the moment you divorced. He is what is considered a deadbeat dad. Here is a web page that you can refer too. I wish you luck with this and I would like to believe that your ex does not have a chance.

Answer 4

Well the boys came from BOTH of you. So instead of you two picking over the children like hungry birds over meat, why not try shared custody? Then both of you share responsibility and get to share in the lives of your children.

If money is that big of an issue for you, shared custody can allow you to pay for when they're with you, and vice versa for him. Since kids need BOTH parents in the end, this works best for them.

Answer 5

i can't tell you alot but i know for a fact that your 18 year old is not going to have to deal with this the law says that once you are 14 yrs old they have to ask your children what they want because they are of legal age to be responsible for themselves. if your wanting more info on your childrens rights go on to the DOCS website there is some info their that you might find helpful. Good luck and don't give in

Answer 6

In most states once a child reaches the age of 12 years, they can tell the judge who they want to live with. I am assuming that since you have been in court already, that you have a lawyer. This is a question better suited for him/her.

Answer 7

If ur pretty much a sane woman no judge is going to grant him full custody especially after he basically abandoned them. I wouldnt worry about it but if u know of any deep dark secrets about him nows the time to start sharing them lol

Answer 8

the really good part of this situation is that all of ur children are old enough to decide who they want to live with.....if they dont want to be with him they need to say so in a court when he sues u for custody....no judge will ignore even a 13yo statement....good luck 4 ur boys sake

Answer 9

When my father tried to take custody of me, I was 12 and I got to talk to a judge and tell him that I wanted to stay with my mom, and I got to. I don't know what else went into it, but I did get to express my wishes.
Good luck

Answer 10

i have delt with visitation in my life , and in my case my son was also older and was able to voice his oppinion in court. my advice is to make sure you have a good list of your ex husbands track record with moving alot , leaving wives and other children and his record of actual support of the children (money and emotional) in the past , and maybe if he has been a active father (showing up at right times and dates of visitation)...it all goes to show how serious he is , and that he is really only doing it for the payment he doesnt want to pay.good luck!