Bi-Polar/BPD, Need some help from my friends, Please.?

Question

I have a daughter,unmarried, hard worker, responsible, but on meds for either Bi-polar or border line personality, they have not quite decided which yet, I have tried hard to be supportive, she goes off, (angry) about once a wk., I have set limitations, but she gets abusive, verbally and emotionally to a serious level about once a month, I know this condition is one that suffers from fear and abandonement issues so have tried not to threaten to kick her out but things are getting worse, she is on two meds now and to start psychotherapy and counseling in a wk., now says she is not going to take her meds anymore or go to counseling, all because I asked her to educate herself about her condition and to please read a book I bought for her called "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me." I am to the end of my rope, have cried all day. Any experience with this, what should I do?

Answer 1

IF SHE DOES NOT WANT TAKE HER MEDS AND GO TO COUNSELING SHE MAY END UP IN A STATE HOSPITAL WE NEED TO MAKE SURE , THAT WE TAKE GOOD CARE OF OUR MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH , BUT I WOULD TAKE HER ABUSE FROM HER !

Answer 2

I can completely understand you. I personally suffered BPD for 9 years and have only really achieved a level head within the last year with no help from doctors. I figured it out on my own but I created so much destruction in my path that I look back on it now and feel ashamed.
My parents kicked me out of home when I was 16 and this made matters alot worse. It's not that they didn't care it's that I was too resistant towards any kind of therapy.

I'll stop talking about myself but all I can say is this; try and support her as much as possible, don't give up on her, as this is one of the core features of BPD (abandonment issues)
There is no one answer that will be correct but only guidance from previous experiences. Each case of BPD is different it's not all the same. Also on the Bipolar note unless your daughter experiences delusions then it's unlikely she's Bipolar. This is where alot of psychiatrists have difficulting in distinguishing the two but the only difference in the two conditions is delusions which last for more than days. It can be irritating (my mum hit the roof about the amount of times she drove me to the ER department only to be told the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong).

Make sure she is safe and doesn't regularly self harm but at the same time live your own life. I suggest you read a book called Walking On Eggshells. It's for parents trying to cope with a loved one that has the disorder. Until you get a clear-cut diagnosis though it may be difficult. Bipolar is a life long illness which requires medication where as BPD; the behaviour patterns decline with time. Either way it is still very hard to cope but please read that book. Medication isn't the answer unless you're full blown suicidal or self mutilate regularly and it only should be used as a short-term solution where as psychotherapy or DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy) is worth investigating more. The psych drugs have very nasty side effects too. I hope this has been of some help to you. There are many BPD support group forums online so I suggest you google one.

Answer 3

I am bipolar as well. I have found that the more I have learned about my condition, the more in control I am. In this case though, I think this may be a battle to let go with your daughter and the book. If dropping that subject will get her to take her meds and go to counseling without a fight, in the end you will still get her educated through the counseling. Also, if you could pass on to her that the education PUTS HER IN CONTROL OF HER OWN DESTINY that may help. Doctors can prescribe the medication, but they cannot tell her how it makes her feel or what side effects it is having. I read everything I can on every medication I am put on so if something different is happening, I know it is due to that medication and not something else. Also, knowing all about bipolar disorder (or bpd) will help her to recognize her bad or inappropriate behavior and perhaps help her to control it. Counseling is so very important, but staying on her medication is imperitive! I wish you both the best!

Answer 4

That is the nature of both of those illnesses, angry, hostile, snappy, and then the next moment be just peachy! I was diagnosed with BP myself, and have since found out that I also have hypothyroidism. This condition has a LOT of the same symptoms as what the mental illnesses do, and is treatable most times by a single daily pill. The catch is that most doctors don't perform the blood work needed to determine whether or not you have a thyroid disorder routinely. After years of fits and failed medications finally I was put on meds for this and already feel much better. Check and see if her doctor has checked this, and if not then she should request it be done. After being diagnosed I could read enough about the condition, and I was amazed of the likeness between the mental illnesses and what the symptoms of hypothyroidism. Its worth checking out because the long term effects of untreated thyroid problems include heart damage, coma, etc.

Answer 5

Have you read the book? If she See's you reading the book and finding out more information about the illness then it might help her realize your not trying to hurt her, to threaten her. It is hard being a Bipolar or a manic bipolar which is what I am and you need to understand for your self that you need to take the medication to help you. To understand you are the 1 with the problem and you need to admit it, I have no problem admitting I have my problem being a manic/bipolar depressant i need my medication so I take it every day it makes me a better person I seek counseling and therapy and I see my Psychiatrist as I need to. It is a part of life and we just need to accept we are human not perfect!