I was dumped by text on 29th Dec. It's been really painful these few weeks coming to terms with it as I was with this woman for 18 months. I have to admit I still have feeling for her but know that even if she ever wanted to get back together I should not.
Today coming out of my house I was greeted with her and her ex in a car (her mum lives opposite my house) she has a child with her ex who is a xanker as he often beat on her. This was the first time I'd seen her since Christmas when we were still together.
I did not know she was outside so was very shocked and just walked off ignoring them. I did not want to get into an argument with the xrick. She later text me saying 'Is this how it's going to be you ignoring me whenever you see me' My reply was ' Again only thinking of your feelings and not mine'
Anyway, I've arranged to meet her for some closure on Sunday but don't know what to say to her. I want her to know that what she did (dumping me by text) was low.
2007-02-04 10:21:20 · 22 answers · asked by Sky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dont even waste your time seeing her..keep away from her and dont even look at her....get yourself a new girlfriend who will treat you well not like her.
2007-02-08 00:22:24 · answer #1 · answered by fajita 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not the most mature way to dump someone and she sounds like she is a glutten for punishment where the other idiot is concerned. Come people you just can't help. I think you need to tell her you didn't appreciate being dumped that way. Tell her that you are no longer interested in being involved with her as a friend now that she is seeing the other idiot as you would be afraid of what you might say and can't be happy for her.
Staying friends with ex's is not easy and very rarely works although before others say it does work, there are exceptions of course. But in this case I think you need to just make it clear that you want nothing more to do with her or him and then change your number and move on.
2007-02-04 10:41:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well firstly i think you were right in ignoring her. if it was the other way round im sure she would be the same. however i think the closure was done in this text she put so i think you should just leave it otherwise things will be said in one way or another and you will wish you never met. remember the good times you had and appreciate it was good while it lasted. im sure she knows what she did was wrong but she obviously meant it. You were together quite awhile so for her to end it the way she did.. is she worth it! You dont need that sort of closure. she may say she is sorry for doing it that way bla bla bla but is that what you really need to hear?? only you can deal with the closure part and im sure meeting with her is not the answer. good luck anyway with whatever you decide!
2007-02-04 10:30:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be completely honest about how she has hurt you - weren't you honest with her when you were together?
Even if she doesn't benefit from hearing how you feel after she dumped you in such a cowardly manner, she owes it to you to hear you out.
If I were you, i wouldn't try to make it easy or difficult for her - don't let her have the upper hand, simply be honest. That way, you will get everything off your chest and she will be left in no doubt as to how she has damaged your opinion of her.
Ask yourself whether someone who truly loved you and deserved your affection would treat you so thoughlessly, even if she no longer felt the same about you.
Although it hurts right now, she has left the way open for someone who will truly care for you, and who, hopefully, won't have a safety net to conveniently fall back on!
Finally, I would advise that after you speak with her, you make yourself 'unavailable' and no longer answer her texts because as long as she can elicit an aswer from you, she has you at the end of her leash!
2007-02-04 10:31:07 · answer #4 · answered by joliefille 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it must have been tough on you...very cruel but they have history and a child so that should be closure enough dont meet her ...move on even though you are hurting its over all she wants is to stop the guilt of hurting you...give the child a chance but dont be surprised if some day she wants to come back to you prepare for this..but in the mean time rebuild a life for yourself and what happens will happen ..good luck
2007-02-04 10:37:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if it was me I would treat like for like and if you have any of her stuff give it to her in a carrier bag and tell her she is looking well but you cant stay must dash. I think it may piddle her off a bit. The chances are she got dressed up to see you and is thinking of playing both you and ex off as a bit of fun. Not that I have done that of course!
2007-02-04 20:11:22 · answer #6 · answered by Emma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly i wouldn't give her the satisfaction of meeting her anywere to make closure. (the golden rule). do on to others as others would have done on to you..so text her.."sorry can't make it" and move on with your life hippily with out her. it is all a little game of trying to control you outside the box if ya know what i mean. you had closure harshly by her...so let it be. you have found what kinda girl she is. i am sure even if you had felt you had made your closure....she will find a way to keep the tiny strings attached. move on with strength
2007-02-04 10:35:04 · answer #7 · answered by wyldmntgyrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Sky
Sounds like she still wants to control you so that she can justify her actions to herself & kick you a bit more when you are down.
Whatever you do will not be the right thing for her
What you must do is what is right for you! .. so it is entirly up to you, but I think you should just leave well alone & just get on with your own life & not worry about what she might think or say or do.
oh yes & stop thinking of her feelings, she dosnt have any for you!
2007-02-08 02:50:03 · answer #8 · answered by healer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hehehe
im sorry to laugh pal
but almost the exact same thing happened and what i'd say to you is she was obviously someone who struck a big chord with you when times were good, only you know if im right!
but dont ever forget those times never ever forget them
as for closure - dont meet her, she has been so shallow to not dump you in front of your face but dump you by text proves she is hiding something, basically she still wont tell you the truth and if you meet to discuss closure then its bad becuase YOU WILL ARGUE VERY VERY QUICKLY OVER ANYTHING even something as trivial as you opening a packet of sugar for her tea and she shouts at you and says I can do that! and your just being nice, stuff like that will happen and you will argue and thats before you bring up your feelings in the equation. My adivce is to never be in contact but if you see her in the street walking by if she says hi and you feel its not false then say hi back but walk on! dont stop to talk it will only mess with your head.
I dont mean to sound harsh but im guessing she has cheated on you because she has not got the guts to face you anymore and is hiding behined her fingers on her phone. Tell yourself she isnt worth your love (which is true! she isnt!) and move on, have boys nights out, go to the sports, just do your thing and keep busy and just talk to people all the time, become a non stop 24/7 talkative person (if you are then stay that way) express all your emotions but dont resort to violence its pointless just shout and scream instead and the old saying of time is a good healer is true, as time elapses so will your hurt, you wont forget but the strength of the anger and frustration will become controllable and when you least expect it for example when your grocery shopping and your feeling hung over as you got in at 6 am from the night before and at 11am your shopping for groceriers, stinking of booze, in last nights shirts, just sober enough to drive, looking rough with loads of stubble, still got last night stench in your clothes, your feeling totally knackered, you will go round the corner of an aisle and bash into the trolley of your next and possibly true love as you help her pick up her groceries youve knocked out of her cart and instinctevly you say something that makes her smile, you end up talking for a couple of minutes, you carry on your shopping and outside at your car you see her once more and go by as she is putting her shopping in her car and talk some more and you arrange your first date! and the preverbial two fingers are stuck up to your shallow ex gf and you move onto someone who respects you and loves you more for the man you are
and im a 20 yr old guy
so if I can believe that then anyone can =)
cheers pal and if you wanna chat then mail me =)
2007-02-04 11:06:59 · answer #9 · answered by Music fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you should just tell her whats on your mind. Like you said, what she did to you was low. Then tell her that because if you don't get it off your mind then you're just going to be thinking about it all the time. And if she does not respect what you have to say to her then you are just wasting your time and you should just move on. Good Luck!!
2007-02-04 10:30:37 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How dare she! sounds like my ex he had his baby mama picking him up from work a couple of days after we broke, and we work togther so i know exactly how you feel. the best thing to do is act like nothing is wrong... don't let her know your hurting even tho it might be killing you. it'll make her want you back so bad it's not even funny. my ex seen me walking with another guy at work and almost had a fit, and now he's sayin he wants me back. so if you have to let her see you with someone one day.... she'll get it then. GOOD LUCK!
2007-02-04 10:39:50 · answer #11 · answered by **Taira** 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋