Is smacking effective discipline?

Question

Please give me reasons for and against smacking children

I'm English, so we don't say spank, but I think a smack is the same as a spanking. I don't mean a punch or anything!

Answer 1

There are tons and tons of ways to discipline children. You can beat them, you can whip them, you can smack them, you can give them time outs, you can positively reinforce them when they do things right, you can take away privileges (and this is just to name a few). The ones that have been shown over and over in developmental studies to work effectively - even on ADHD and developmentally disabled children - are the latter three (time out, positive reinforcement, and revoking privileges). So, right off, why would you choose a punishment that physically hurts them if you have other options that have been shown to work?

No matter what you do, children will be defiant. They are growing up and learning so many things about themselves and the world around them. They also learn from you what is acceptable behavior and what is not ... they do not come born with this knowledge. The best thing you can do as a parent is teach them from the beginning how to behave appropriately in society. If you smack them, they will see it as appropriate behavior (after all the most important role model in their life does it). You will likely see them smack an sibling or playmate and wonder why they are get punished for it ... after all Mom or Dad already showed them that smacking is completely acceptable and appropriate way to handle things.

Of course, you would like them to understand why what they do is wrong, not just that it is wrong because they got smacked. If you only set up physical punishment, children will learn that what they did is only wrong if they get caught ... and if they don't get caught it is not wrong. Surely you would want your child to grow up with an internal sense of what is right and wrong and not always looking to "not get caught".

Children are developing leaps and bounds, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. They are very limited when they are young and engage in some very bizarre thinking - because they are still learning and their brain is still developing. Things that seem so simple to adults are not even able to be put together in children's head because of their limited capacities. There is much they don't understand and one thing that they don't understand especially in younger years is why is Mom or Dad hurting me when they are the ones who are supposed to be protecting them from others who could hurt them.

Changing to a time out regime or something like that can be stressful. They will test you over and over and try to get out of having to sit in time outs. Children are often stubborn in this, but if you don't give in, eventually they will. The most important thing in any kind of discipline is consistency.

And remember to give your child attention and love when they are behaving well. It is often difficult because it is so nice to be relaxed and enjoy the time they are quiet and behaving by relaxing yourself. But they are still children and need attention, if they don't get it when they are being good they will settle for negative attention and act out, because it is still attention. It is your choice what kind of attention you give them.

Because you are even asking this question, I suspect you already know that smacking is excessive and not in the best interest of your child's emotional well being or understanding of how to behave. Look for parenting classes in your area that will assist you in being more consistent and developing different creative ways of controlling your child's behavior effectively and fairly.

Remember that parenting is stressful. Your life has changed completely and even though you love your children, they can be demanding and draining. It is very important to take time out for yourself. Find a baby sitter and go out to dinner, or go to the movies. Maybe you and another parent can get together and switch off Friday night slumber party nights so you can get the whole night off. It is important that you enjoy your children and laugh with them often, they can be quite amazing. In order to do that, you need to be relaxed and happy yourself. Amazingly, your children will take behavioral cues from you too. The happier you are the happier they will be.

Hope this helps.

Answer 2

Smacking, spanking, hitting, popping are all the same. Any kind of hitting even if it is light, moderate or hard, sends all children the wrong message.There aren't any good reasons to smack a child. It is negative and research shows that it isn't effective long term. It is possibe to raise well behaved, confident children without spanking, it just requires work which alot of lazy parents don't want to do. Spanking is easy for them. There are big reasons why it isn't okay to spank. Some experts believe that spanking is abuse. Children need greater protection against assault and battery than any other class of citizen. They are the class of people who are most vulnerable to physical and psychological damage when battered and we need to protect them. Children are human beings not property or cattle that we can just take over and smack around. Spanking under age 3 is too easy to injure a child and pointless. It is about time someone brings out this big controversy on spanking. Back in the old days, parents used belts, wooden spoons etc and all thought it was fine and the best way to discipline. Now research is showing that it is abuse and alot of adults today are affected emotionally and psychologically. So you want your child to come up to you one day as an adult and be angry at you for hitting them? Children will blame and the parents pay the price. Because when they are adults, spanking will be the thing of the past and looked upon as disgusting and demoralizing. We today can't believe that teachers were allowed to smack children with sticks and belts. The reason some kids are criminals and defiant isn't because they aren't allowed to be hit, there are many factors that contribute to violent, out of control kids. It is those kids that have parents who use no form of discipline at all. Times are changing and the more we get educated on child development, the better the outcome. You want what is best for your child right? Spanking does alot of psychological damage. It lowers IQ, teaches how to be sneaky, agressive and insecure. Parents who spank are less educated.

Answer 3

Well, I have 2 kids and when one of them back talk me I just give them a little pop on the mouth and it doesn't hurt them it just surprises them. I didn't do this before but it does work. I don't do this every time I try to make it different so they don't know what is coming. Most of the time I just sit them down and eye level and tell them what they have done was wrong. They really listen then. Talking to them like this seems to hurt their feeling alot more than popping them or spanking them. Smacking is a strong word to use when it is with a child but many people don't understand what kind it is you are talking about. Is it like a pop on the cheek or something like that? If so then it is ok and It's not considered child abuse. Only if you do it out of anger or leave a mark. Then it is really bad. I don't like to pop my kids but sometimes that is the only thing they respond to. Popping is better than smacking. It doesn't hurt them but it gets the point across. I Hope you find your answer you are looking for. Good luck!

Answer 4

Smacking, no,
Spanking, yes.

A smack is something done out of anger. A spank is something done to teach the child.
They are reaching for a flame. Sure you can let them get burnt and learn, and possibly catch on fire when they jump and pull away or get 3rd degree burns. Or you can spank their hand.

They just ran into the street. Sure you can hug them after they almost get ran over, telling them how much you love them and were so worried. Or you can spank them so they never do it again, and THEN tell them you love them and are so glad they weren't killed.

You should never ever spank a child when you are angry. That turns into hitting and smacking.

Answer 5

in recent times this is a not person-friendly question to respond to.i'm in my 50s and performance continually pronounced that somewhat tap on the bottom or hand doesnt do the newborn any damage because after we were small thats how we learnt,yet i need to admit i no longer frequently ever had to do this to my personal little ones because the harshness of my voice develop into adequate lol. I do accept as true with someone announcing that the newborn might want to develop into the single which hits out if it truly is carried out too a lot although.there's a huge difference between a tender tap and an finished on smack.

Answer 6

I am a mum of two daughters aged eight and two and i have smacked both of my girls. to everyone who says it is bad wake up it is bad if you belt/bash a child but a litle smack/spank never hurt anyone. For example my two year old run onto he road the other day when we were out walking after i asked her to get back in the pram to cross the road so i smacked her she never even cried so it didnt hurt her just shocked her. I only have ever smacked either of them on the hand/fingers to tell them not to toush something or a light tap on the bottem when they are being naughty and have found it to work well.

Answer 7

Spanking when in direct relation to a deed deliberately done when the child knows it was wrong. You can't discipline children if they don't know what's expected of them and when children are little they will be children with the immaturity of children. What I mean is don't expect them to understand everything right away. Don't spank when you are severely angry. Control yourself. If you can't - do a time out for both of you.

Answer 8

well lets see, we do not even hit criminals it would be illegal, there are 10000 of alternatives if parents would take the time to find them, spanking, smacking it's all abuse, don't our children deserve not to be humiliated, what kind of lesson is that, that only teaches fear, i want my children to do the right thing because it is the right thing not because they are afraid, i have 5 children who are polite, well behaved, straight a students who's teachers love them, i have NEVER hit my children, i have spent the time taking parenting classes, talking to other like minded parents and reading a lot, to find alternatives

Answer 9

I think any type of hitting is hitting, and should be recognized as child abuse.... I say this as someone who got smacked when i was a kid, you can still remeber the pain 10 15 years later!

Answer 10

I would not really smack my child but i will whip his butt.
reasons for:
sometimes time out does not work
they eventually get to that point where they will test your limits
well behaved children come from discipline
reasons against:
People look at you strange
Depending on how strong you are, you can hurt them