Is there any way I can get help for depression without my dad knowing?

Question

I'm 15, cut and injure myself, and often have suicidal thoughts and tendencies. I also have a lot of anger in me, and fight with my dad a lot. For a little while now, I've been wanting to get better, but because I'm not in driver's ed yet and don't have a car, I can't really get any counseling (though I would probably have a hard time talking to someone else about this stuff face to face), or get any medication for it. Also, I'm not sure how I could even get any of that since a bill would probably be sent to my home or be put on my dad's account or bill or whatever at the doctors.

Is there anything I can do to help myself without my dad knowing?

He has suspected it once in the past. He has said that he would understand since I have moved around a lot, and that can be very hard on a person... My ***! That is not even close to the reason, and knowing how we communicate, it would lead to yelling and an argument following me going to my room and trying to not cut like I have been doing. It is very hard to communicate with that man.

It's not just the fighting with my dad that makes me feel this way. Just thought I'd clear that up.

When I say fights, I mean like arguments over the stupidest of things. There is no emotional abuse (a form of child abuse) because the fights are kind of split by who starts them.

There is no form of child abuse going on here. I'm in health, and we have begun that part of the book, and from what I have studied from there and other places (have looked up depression and suicide on the internet to get a better understanding of it), there is none. Just though I would clear that up too.

Forgot to add this (too... many... additional... details lol). The reason I don't want my dad to find out is because (as anyone who has gone through this could tell you), it's really hard to tell someone (like family) about stuff like this. That, and also because of his reaction. As I have said, we don't really have good communication because he doesn't really understand anything and stuff. This is a fact, by the way.

Answer 1

you're dad needs to know what you are going through. When he finds out that you cut and injure yourself he might lay off. I finally could not take hurting myself any more and I told my dad. He let off a lot. It helped tremendously. But if you really don't want him to find out, go to your consular at school or talk to one of you're best friends or write down what you are feeling in a note book or something. It is hard to talk to somebody at first but it gets better and it might save your life in the long run. Something to help with the anger is get some toilet paper or Kleenex and throw them as hard as you can at a shower wall or some where, where things won't get broken.

Answer 2

I know it can be hard to take that first step and talk to a councilor or therapist but keep in mind that they are there to help you not to judge you. There are a lot of others places to go other then a school councilor a lot of states and cities have community psychiatric help and there is always the option of taking a bus or getting a ride from a friend.

A suggestion I would make is that if your are taking any drugs or drinking alcohol put a stop to it asap it can severely effect your moods and judgment. IF there is some form of mental or physical abuse within your family it would be best for your to see a councilor ( I know how hard of a step that can be)

I would like to know a little bit more about you and your family situation, like why is it so important that your father doesn't find out? What do you think is causing you to have these feelings of anger and depression? I would like to see you get some help I know the pain that you are feeling from personal experience and I know how hard it is to take that first step but you are doing the right thing by seeking help. If you need more help finding somewhere to go I can try to find you a free source of counseling. I usually don't do this but If you feel like you need help finding somewhere to go you can e-mail me at [e-mail]

Answer 3

You should start with either your counselor or call to someone on the mental health line. Your dad would be glad you're doing something about it. He probably is tired of fighting with you, but that's pretty much normal during the teenage years. I'm sure that he doesn't know that things are getting this bad. You will do a lot better on the meds. You are not going to just grow out of this. You need to try something else which giving both you and your father a chance to change things. You can't just think yourself out of depression and the longer you wait on this the worse it is going to get.

Answer 4

Sorry, but until you're 18 .. there's not many people you can talk to that can really help without informing your dad. It's just the way it is, sadly. Especially when you're cutting.

It's something that I had to go through, and I still have to deal with being labelled. I understand you not wanting your dad to know. They never really understand, and then everything you do has to do with your depression.

At school, maybe there's a teacher you could talk to. If you do talk to an adult, don't tell them about you're cutting right off the bat. Just talk about your feelings and why you might feel that way, and if you grow to trust them, and you're positive they won't tell .. then maybe you can tell them.

I think if you can deal with your feelings, then maybe you can stop hurting yourself. Also remember that nobody can really help you but you, even if you do start to take medication.

Answer 5

Speak with the counselor or psychologist from your school. Tell them exactly the situation. I am 53 years old with chronic depression and my 3 kids (all grow up and married) do not want to know nothing about me. So I have a mental health provider, teraphy,medicines and a lot of people that love me and understand my situation, which is nothing different than a diabetes or a cholesterol, but it is an illness that little near family members understand. Because for them is better to ignore it.

Answer 6

Since you are a minor, your doctor will suggest couciling for sure,,if you need someone to talk to, might involve you dad, is why your depressed ...go to your school and talk to your councilors there,,,or is there a teacher that you trust,,or another adult,,if your problem is about your father then seek advice outside the family unit, as might result being told to your father,,,try the teachers or if your family doctor is cool speak to him or her and they might be able to medicate you with samples that they have at the office,,,Be careful whom you speak with as all this might result going right back to your dad...there are also hotlines over the phone you could call and talk to someone incognito..Talk care girly and please wipe the thought of suicide from your mind you are young and whatever is the problem now, it will get better I promise,,when we are young everything is a big deal,,relationships, school, friends,etc,,,But if your dad is hurting you in anyway, then promply seek advice from a teacher or someone you trust, don't let this go on, and don't do anything stupid,,you are young and life is short,,please take care,,there are ppl out there who do care,,you will find that person..soon..

Answer 7

I know talking with parents is not the easiest thing to do. Try talking with your school counselor or school nurse. There is free help out there for teens the nurse or councelor will be able to provide you this info for your area.

Good Luck. You are still young trust me you have plenty to look forward to. Because of your age I am going to suggest signing up for the summer programs in the military. You can get help with your problem and it can even boost your self a steam

Answer 8

try your school counselor first. they hear this kind of thing all the time and know where to find help. almost every city over 250,000 people (and hopefully you're in or near one) will have a free clinic that you could go to).
you can help yourself by doing exactly what you are doing now...being honest about the problem.
listen, you are worth it. i know your dad and you fight, but i imagine if he knew of your suicidal tendencies he would want you to get help, too, but for now, be brave and honest and tell your school counselor exacty what you said above. maybe even copy that word for word and leave a note in his/her office with your name on it so they can pull you out of class. and don't worry, they can't talk about this with anyone else...they are bound by confidentiality laws. get some help and get out of the hell you are going through.good luck. you are worth it.

Answer 9

Oh George I just would like to give a great big hug first...you are so brave and I wish I was there right now to help...I want you to look up any mental health facilites in your area check yellow pages......GEORGE you need help and he is preventing you from this help this is a form of child abuse and there is a child abuse hotline in every state in this country......I want you to call them and tell them what is going on ...most of your problem is your dad and he needs to step up to the plate and start acting like a dad......I want you to take care of you George NOW...MAKE THE CALL bless you love kara

Answer 10

Why can't your Dad know? I'm sure he would understand, please speak with a school counselor as the very first step and tell him all that you said here.