he moved with me to So-Cal and i have been feeding and housing him in hotels. he tells me his last relationship failed because he worked 80 hours a week, but so far he hasnt made an effort to even look for a job unless i threaten him. my mom said to dump him, i can do it on my own, but im scared. i dont love him but i feel some kind of strange security with him.
2007-02-04 09:25:19 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
People become freeloaders when you allow them.Chances are that he will not think of getting a job soon.if you don't love him other than the reason being his freeloading attitude then,tell him politely that you don't feel the same way like you used to.However,it might be that you are fed up with his lazy attitude that's why you think you don't love him anymore.Very often if someone depends solely on you without making efforts to help out turns the sweetest relationship sour.Yours might be this way,so have a tete with him and tell him your worries.
you can probably tell him that,since you're gonna have a baby soon,you think we two should work harder to save some money for the baby's upkeep.Encourage him to get a job since both of you will be catering for the baby.Try surfing the web for job openings with him or when you get a job ad,give it to him to apply.If a relationship is not a business for profit then your investment should ,however, not go to waste!Don't threaten him,because he might be leaving you in debt.You should a less expensive place to live and make sure you two share the expenses.If he still doesn't want to work,stop catering for him like a baby and kick him out.You will need that money for yourself and the baby.All these will work out depending on how you say it.Be polite,gentle and whatever and tell him to get a job.If he doesn't see job ads,find one for him to apply to.I do hope things work out good.
2007-02-04 09:45:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mothers are usually always right, they have the most wisdom because they know you and they've been through much experience.
This guy sounds dangerous, and he won't be giving you much security in the future. How you do anything is how you do everything. You can't change this guy, he doesn't make an effort, he probably never will. Get yourself a solid job, break up with him, cling on your child for dear life, and just find another relationship with a guy who actually deserves you.
You are worth everything, your dreams, your inspirations, all are very dear, take them and follow your heart. Why are you saying if you don't love him? He can't give you security, he's using YOU for security. There's other guys out there that probably have this strange security- and true security and love.
In the end it's your choice, but tell him the stakes. Tell him if he doesn't shape up to get a job, then it's all over. Tell him if he's committed, then he should make efforts. Stop feeding and housing him, he can live in your basement, but he's an adult, you have no obligation to house him.
He needs to learn to provide for himself, and until then, he can help provide for the family. Tell him that you don't want to become like him and work 80 hours a week. Tell him that he's ruining the relationship by putting you in the situation he's been in.
2007-02-04 09:34:13 · answer #2 · answered by natalia j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
80 hours a week to zero? Sounds like a pile of garbage. Throw his stuff out the door and change the locks. Then get a lawyer and sue for child support.
2007-02-04 09:30:19 · answer #3 · answered by Bullwinkle Moose 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will be a lot harder to take care of a baby and a man than a baby alone.
Remind him that he has a huge responsibility coming soon and he needs to get his *** in gear, if not then get out. You will have enough changes and stress with a new baby, you do not need him adding to the problem.
You are pregnant with his child a real man would go above and beyond to take are of your needs, not sit on his bum while you bust you butt working to pay for him.
2007-02-04 09:29:25 · answer #4 · answered by smedrik 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can't believe you are bringing a baby into this obviously failing relationship. you don't love him? but you feel secure with him? there is so much wrong with this situation i don't even know where to start. you are talking about a serious situation as though you are talking about cleaning out your closet. start with yourself first. get yourself mature and ready to raise your baby. this is going to take some time. good luck.
2007-02-04 09:34:17 · answer #5 · answered by REALLY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what security? you are supporting him HELLO!!!!!! I'm a single mother and doing it by myself. this is 2007. thank God you have your mother near you. dump him giving him the reason why and if he loves you will try to get you back by doing the right thing. you don't love him so be really care full on making this decision.good luck.
2007-02-04 09:36:20 · answer #6 · answered by sara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of security can he offer you if he cannot support himself?!?!? Really now, he's just taking advantage of you. My honest opinion is that you should dump him as soon as possible and find a person who really deserves you. Good luck!
2007-02-04 09:30:41 · answer #7 · answered by Aliondra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
security???? how is that...you are supporting him and he is making no attempt to support himself or you even knowing a child is on the way...I would bet a paycheck that if you called his last gf, she would tell you the relationship failed because she got sick of supporting his lazy butt....move on and make a life for you and your child...get rid of the dead wood...good luck
2007-02-04 09:30:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont take care of no man girl he should be taking care of you ecspecially since your pregnant and you can do it by yourself I have 3 kids by myself you really shouldn't be with him if you don't love him
2007-02-04 09:37:50 · answer #9 · answered by tina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please move on....This is only a sign of what is in the future....Don`t waste your time...
2007-02-04 09:30:52 · answer #10 · answered by mads..lady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋