I'm 20, my brother's 15. I still live at home, Im going to college still. My brother and I were really close when we were little, there was always a little sibling rivalry there, but lately things have gotten worse. We fight all the time, and my little brother has started drinking. Im always down his throat about the drinking. He is becoming extremely rebellious and smart mouthed. We now fight all the time. Fist fights now. My mom and dad split up and have been divorced. My mom and dad were living together, "try and make it work for the kids". This year my mom moved out and my dad has gone into this crazy rage about the whole thing. Everything I say or do is somehow linked to my mom. My dad claims I am always on her side and that I have "Divorced Child Syndrome". Im too old. I also think I may have jealousy issues with him, cause of how he was raised differently than I. He is treated SOO much better. You can ask anyone, really tearing me up. cant even talk 2 him W/O almost crying now.
2007-02-04 08:58:40 · 4 answers · asked by bhj618 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He bought me a shirt today and I cried on his shoulder. We are both in a kinda depressed situation right now and are never home hardly. This house has turned into a cold tomb it feels like. I try to talk to him, and get him to do stuff with me, but he shuns me off as being "just rediculous" or "not cool enough". Talk about a popularity complex.
2007-02-04 09:01:08 · update #1
You guys have been through a lot for your ages and I think it has taken a toll on both of you. You are each handling things the best you personally think you can right now. Unfortunately, he has taken a self destructive path if he has started drinking. You need each other more than ever right now! My parents got divorced after 25 years of marriage so I can kind of relate to what you are going through. I also have a sister who I am very close to and when we were your ages(almost, we are 3 yrs apart in age)we started fighting alot and growing apart, too. We never let it break us apart all the way though. We always stayed in touch with each other and tried to forgive and forget so to speak. I don't know what I would have done without my big sister through some times in my life. I am so thankful that she never gave up on me. So, my advise is to never give up on each other and try to help each other cope the best you can. Voice your concern to him about his drinking if you need to and do it in a loving non confrontational way. I know you guys love each other and will be glad you have each other in the future. It seems like the older you get, the more you appreciate how important your siblings are in your life. Good luck to both of you.
2007-02-04 09:15:42 · answer #1 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your brother is hurting also and using drinking to help with the pain. I know it's hard, but you need to back down from him and just let him blow off steam. Be the ear for him, the shoulder for him, but don't tell him what he should or shouldn't be doing. It will only cause a war and bitter feelings back and forth. Be the stronger person because you are his big brother and whether he admits it or not, he looks up to you and cares about your opinion of him. Just let him know that you are there for him any time he wants to talk. When he's carrying on and acting like an azz, just shake your head in a sad way and tell him you love him, but you're not going to talk to him when he's acting like that. It will make him think and hopefully calm down. Good luck
2007-02-04 17:19:11 · answer #2 · answered by ஐ♥Gin♥ஐ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds it might help to distance yourself from this situation so that you can focus your energy and attention on your college education. Is there any way that you can move out of the house? Perhaps you could share a house with a roomate? Things sound like they have become unbearable in your home and getting worse. Let the family know that you love them, but that you need shift your focus on building your own life.
2007-02-04 17:18:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A. Your little brother's a teenager prone to fits of rebellion in his search to find himself. He can't blame all his behavior on you or your parents, but their splitting up does not help much either.
B. You are 20. You should be looking forward to a life of your own apart from all the family fireworks.
C. You're 20. You still need some family, but be yourself through it all.
2007-02-04 17:26:11 · answer #4 · answered by RB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋