me and my boyfriend have been dating for over 5 months and today he seems to think he has higher authority over me. and if i ask him something its optional for him to do it but if he tells me to do something i HAVE to do it.
2007-02-04 08:56:08 · 25 answers · asked by Laney 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No one has a higher authority. It should be equal.
2007-02-04 08:58:22 · answer #1 · answered by Nico 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey,
Everyone will say that a relationship should be equal. I'm not necessarily going to disagree with that, although it does depend on the situation.
You have the choice to do what you want to do. You don't need to do something you don't want to. It's your turn to be the dominator of the relationship and teach him that you have a choice.
For example, next time he asks you to do something you don't want to, just tell him you don't want to do it. He will get the picture soon.
You don't need to leave him for something so small, because you're obviously together for a reason, right? No point in destroying what can be fixed easily...
The only time this changes is when dealing with family - your family = your rules, and when in an emergency - The person with the most experience.
All The Best,
Ryker.
2007-02-04 09:12:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
None. A relationship should never be about higher authoriy and being in control---because that's what higher authority means: being in control of the relationship and the other.
You may tell your boyfriend that he'll have to fend for himself if he doesn't want to fend for you. You do not have to do it just because he wants to be so macho. It's an ego problem with a lot of men. Good luck
2007-02-04 09:03:20 · answer #3 · answered by rvrmldnd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This type of behavior is the first sign of abuse. This type of persoanlity will most likey turn into a more controlling, more dominant an more authoritarian persoanlity which will get worse and worse as you get closer and your relationship gets more serious. He is showing you that he has no respect for you. Do yourself a favor and get out of the the relationship while it is still possible and easy. These warning sugn are very serious andmust be taken seriously and acted upon now. Respect yourself enough to look for ad wait for someone who respects you as their equal. This has nothing to do with how long you have known each other, it is how well you respect each other, and you cannot teach this to someone (your current boyfriend) who doesn't have a common-sense understanding of it.
2007-02-04 09:02:17 · answer #4 · answered by drjen 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In a real relationship, there is an equal amount of authority. So tell your bf about your feelings. If he truly cares about your opinion and your feelings, he will change for you, my dear. Don't let anyone step all over you, even if you love that person.
2007-02-04 09:01:56 · answer #5 · answered by julia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never feel you have to do something you don't want to because someone else says. What are you thinking?! Good relationships are at least 50-50. Better if each is giving 100% to the other. Get rid of this jerk and do it now before it is too late. You deserve better.
2007-02-04 09:12:03 · answer #6 · answered by beebee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Different strokes for different folks, gal. Some people prefer to let their other half be the authority, some prefer to be in charge, and some like a balance of the two. Sounds to me that you prefer a balance and he prefers a submissive. It has less to do with politics and gender roles as it does FINDING A MATCH. So dump him and find a better fit, no big deal.
2007-02-04 09:03:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A young man gets his idea of women from his father's relationship with his mom or other females. If his Dad was a total male pig, then your BF has a good chance of being the same way. Girl, you best stand up for yourself and have some pride in yourself. You are letting him act like he has you wrapped around his finger. Thats not a good way to feel or be. I know it hurts but its part of growing older.
2007-02-04 09:02:12 · answer #8 · answered by tigerbaby99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the higher authority over YOU.
The only way that he can have authority over you is if you let him.
Now if he has an attitude problem, then you have the authority to let him take his attitude, & put it where the sun doesn't shine.
2007-02-04 09:05:28 · answer #9 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lose the control freak! Whoops; sorry... Look, the two parts of a relationship (that means both of you) are equal, okay? If push comes to shove, tell him he HAS to do something, and see if he does it. If not, he's a hypocrite, and they should be avoided like the plague.
2007-02-04 09:01:19 · answer #10 · answered by knight2001us 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋