I Don't Know What To Do?

Question

I'm worried about my older brother. He's 25 and I'm 15. He's due up in court this year for serious asult. He has disgusted me with his behaiviour, he has caused serious problems in my family. I can't bring maself to talk to him but I'm worried that if he goes to jail I wont be able to speak to him. I also do self harm, drink and take drugs ! I really need help but didn't like seeing a councellor and don't want to talk to my parents as I don't get on with them ! Help Please !

Answer 1

You need to get help. You need to open up to your counselor (get a new one if you need to).
It's all downhill from here if you don't get help.
Love yourself enough to do this.
You are worth it.

Answer 2

Do you have a close friend or family member you can trust that can talk to you and help you with these issues.
My suggestion is try and find someone who can help you out if u dont like the couselor you talk 2 b4 find another one,because you are obviously going through alot and harming yourself wont make it any better.I also think you need to try and set aside the bitterness you have towards your brother so you can actually sit down and talk 2 him.I know youre probably really upset because of what he did but thats your brother and you mentioned b4 tht he might go 2 jail so take this as an opportunity 2 talk 2 him, because you never know what can happen tommorow and you dont want 2 sit there and regret not being able 2 speak to him when u had the chance.

Answer 3

You may not want t hear this but you have to make some tough
choices coming up in your life. Sounds like you have more than you can deal with. First off you need to deal with your drug problems. There are drug rehad programs available. Call your Mental Health Association in the
city you live in or the nearest large metropolitan area near to you.
There are are all sorts of groups to help. I'm not going to tell you all the groups available. But the drug rehad program is a start. You will find the Mental Health Association is a great resource
to help with the other issues. But you have to work on this and
realize changes and choices need to come about. Try to
approach ONE problem at a time. If you think you feel overwhelmed now, it will get worse trying to deal with it all at once. Also I suggest you take a 30 minute walk a day. This goes a long way to help relieve the stress I know you must be feeling.
Well I hope some of this helps. bunnies44

Answer 4

OK 1st, & foremost is that you aren't responsible for any of the bad choices your brother has made. He is an adult, so he, & he alone is the one who is responsible for his problems, not you, OK? Plus he should be setting a good example for his little sister, & not the other way around.

You don't want to see a councellor because you aren't ready to stop harming yourself, or to quit doing drugs, & drinking.
Just like your brother, you are the one responsible for the bad choices you are making for yourself.
You can play the victim all you want, but if you don't get help for yourself, then you are being just as bad as your brother, who you are so mad at.
The only way you can stop from being in the same spot as he is at 25 is to start taking good care of yourself TODAY!
You say that HE has caused serious problems in your family, but what affect do you think that harming yourself, & drinking, & taking drugs at 15 does?
So I suggest that you stop worrying about your brother right now, & start worrying about yourself.
Get councelling, & if your councellor recommends a treatment centre for you TAKE IT!

You will be able to communicate with your brother while he is in jail, but only if you are ALIVE!
So do the right thing, & start taking care of yourself.
YOU DESERVE IT! OK?

Answer 5

You need to talk to someone, now! It did feel better writing it down didn't it? So write it down on paper and give it to someone you really trust, I would go to my G.P, there is all sorts of help available from that point. You will also not be judged, no-one has the right to do that to you. You are only fifteen and this can be sorted out before it takes too greater hold. Don't forget your brother, but accept that as from this moment you are more important. If you can get through this you will be in a better position to help him. But please remember honey, some people just don't want to be helped and that is not your fault. You want help, and that is proved because by writing to us here, you have asked for it. I truly wish you a better life, remember you are in control and you can make it better. Good luck darling. Let us know how you are getting on.xx

Answer 6

First of all forgive your brother, he needs you, he no doubt feels the same way about your parents as you and has done for 10 years more than you.......That is probably why he has acted the way he has........

I am going to blame your parents they should know you self harming, taking drugs and drinking........although you don't feel it and I know your gonna laugh at this but you are still a baby......You need looking after and nurturing.......bless you x

I don't know what to suggest but please don't go down that route, you are only 15 I know it is probably the easy way to deal with things, my nan was my saviour at your age, have you not got a relative that you can speak to.........

You need to talk to someone, not mates, someone that can see your situation and can steer you in the right direction, you have your whole life ahead of you and you can be anyone you want, but if drugs and drink become routine in your life then you unfortunately will go down the same route as your brother.......Your better than that and so is your brother, be there for him explain that your disgusted with him........

I wish you all the luck in the world xxxxxxxxxx

Answer 7

Well, if he goes to jail you WILL be able to talk to him. By mail mostly cause phone calls get expensive. As far as self harm, and the drugs, that's all your own doing. You have free will, why not put it all down and say, "enough"?

I was in your shoes 13 years ago and I can't tell you how bad drugs will REALLY effect you later on in life. It sucks, SERIOUSLY. The way I quit was one day, I just had enough. I'd od'd several times and prayed to God to help me. So one day, I quit it all. Drinking, smoking and drugs. Some people take years or never quit, but that's THEIR CHOICE. Just remember that phrase alright; say, "It's MY choice". YOU choose to do harm to yourself. Not your brother or family. It's YOU. The bullsh*t you're going thru is hell, yes. But many other go thru 1,000 times worse without ever restorting to what you and I have.

The next time you're going to get high, think to yourself, "If in 20 years I can look back and think, 'I'm glad I did that', then THIS is the right choice."

Answer 8

first of all dont listen to all the crap advice that the not so sympathetic people are dishing out, u need help for all ur problems first of all u need to stop taking the drugs trust me the do nothing but ruin ur life... call ask frank! it really does help if u speak to someone and also ur 15yrs old make somethin of urself so get skilled up, and dont waste ur life prove to others that ur better than them, and i kno u cant just stop self harming just like that u also need to get help with it speak to a friend, its best to talk to a councellor who can help u with that problem, instead of using a sharp implament e.g razor knife, etc use a ice cube it gives u the same feeling, and i kno it must b hard for u about ur brother but he is the only one who can sort his life out u cant do it for him. and in time he will realise and hopefully he will sort himself out, but in the mean time think about urself,sort ur own problems out and make somethin of urself, i hope u do have a wonderfull life :) goodluck remember lifes a tough journey but there are great thing ahead too

Answer 9

Sweet you really need to talk to someone, anyone, do you have a friend that has an understanding mum. If not be strong and see your doctor, he will help you and understand what help you need. Your Brother has disgusted you and you may not feel like talking to him, but deep down he is your brother and you will always love him. Self harming is bad, I have done it too, its a cry for help for the pain you feel and by hurting yourself you release some of the pain, I wish I could show you my arms to put you off. Please please be strong and seek the help you need and deserve, good luck little one x

Answer 10

Maybe you can give yourself a little time. If he goes to jail, it doesn't necessarily mean that all ties will be broken off. Please don't let his actions affect yours. You can write him a letter instead of seeing him face to face if it helps. I believe that he can also has limited phone calls. Don't force yourself if you don't want to see him yet.

It seems that you are trying to cope in unhealthy ways. It is important for you to care for yourself at this time of frustration. If it helps, you can talk to your friends. Social support would help you right now. You just need someone to talk to and someone to listen. Counseling is not a bad idea, but I realize that this may not be an option. Tell your freinds that you are really struggling, and maybe you can spend more time with them to relax.

Answer 11

I think you are hurting inside for something else. Not your brother.Your brother is only an excuse.. If you are disgusted with his behaviour I expect he is also disgusted with yours also. We all hurt during life and there are periods when we are down and do not know how to cope any longer but things do change with time. We all have fears and fobias. We imagine that all sorts of things are going to happen to us or our families but more often than not they dont and we have worried endlessly for nothing. I think you should try to cope with one problem at a time. Make a list of all yur problems and solve them one by one. You can't tackle everything all at once.