if he doesn't want a serious relationship, why does he act like he likes me like that?

Question

He tells me he just wants to be friends with benefits, but he snuggles me REALLY tight after sex, he kisses me REALLY passionately, he tells his friends Im the one he wants to sleep with only, he told his friend that he was the only one who gets kisses from me, infront of me. and his friend referred to me as TAKEN.

Answer 1

You might not like this answer, and I apologize in advance if it makes you feel bad or look at your "friend with benefits" in a new light, but the reason he snuggles you and kisses you and his friends think you are "his" is just this simple: he wants to keep having sex with you.

If you are satisfied with being a "friend" with benefits, then don't take this advice, but if you want a boyfriend, I suggest you find one. You deserve more than someone who just wants to be your "friend" but still gets to see you naked -- because what he's doing is keeping HIS options open. He might not be actively looking for someone else, but by not calling you his girlfriend, and by telling you that he's not looking for a so-called SERIOUS relationship, but continuing to sleep with you, he is on the lookout for someone "better." Calling you his friend means that when he meets this mystery girl, he can stop having sex with you and stop being sweet to you, and you're not supposed to have any hard feelings about it, or about him, because he *told* you he didn't want a relationship.

Guess what? Once you're having sex, it IS a serious relationship, at least for one of you -- and it sounds like that's you. Why would you want to share your body with someone who's not willing to make even the smallest commitment (calling you his girlfriend) to you? I say again, you deserve better. You sound like someone who cares about affection and attention and who wants to be loved. The longer this goes on, the bigger the hurt when he decides he's ready for that "relationship" with someone who's not you. You're better than that, and you should value yourself more.

Answer 2

Just think if you were to take him up on his "friends" offer and go out with another guy. Make it on a night when he wants to go somewhere with you.

How he reacts will tell you exactly where his heart is. It's funny how that works.

And if he's still doing the "friends with benefits" song and dance, he's the one that's confused, not you, and all you have to do is gently convince him over time that he's going to be unhappy without you.

(You've got some pretty funny answers here. The ones who are saying that he's taking advantage of you or being mean might be overstating your man's relationship IQ. He might actually be dumb in that area and afraid to commit at the same time. You sound like you know what's going on, just educate him. Men respond to facts and they respond when they know they have a good strong image among their friends. That's the way you do it, just convince him that it's okay to be tied down to a quality girl.)

Bluestock below is way out in left field. She should stop trying to evaluate men and keep her day job. Men are usually not affectionate at all until they're "hungry". When they're affectionate AFTERWARDS, it's a totally different thing. Afterward is when the man shows you what he really thinks of you. If he ignores you, it's because he got what he wanted. If you seem like the center of his world, it's because you are and there's something more that he wants from you.

That doesn't mean he that he doesn't have his eye on other prospects, men are still basically dogs in permenant heat, but it's hard for him to hide what he feels.

Answer 3

He is using you stop having sex with him if you want something more with this guy, he is taken advantage of the fact that you like him you will only wind up hurt in the end. I have been there, when they say that believe them. When he has the opportunity to sleep w/ someone else he will w/o thinking about it and when you find out the first thing he will say is, " I told you I did not want to be in a relationship". We look at sex differently then they do.

Answer 4

Be aware of the terms of being a friend with benefits. It's a bit like cohabiting without marriage. Hence, one person will always have one foot outside the door in such a relationship. It's never all that egalitarian in some ways. It's almost like doing business with someone who has nothing to lose.

Answer 5

What is it that you don't get about this guy being totally honest with you? You are not the only girl that snuggles with him and kisses him passionately....that is what he is looking for in his various women. You are the one who is getting too head over heals over this. He cannot give you what you want...either you take the deal or you pass...pretty simple

Answer 6

first of all how old are you?, to answer your question,because of the free sex, he's playing a game, to get his way with you,you've heard of actors and actress's, if he was truly serious he would not risk, creating anything that could put ither of you in peril, IE such as pregnancy,etc. serious people take moral issue's seriously, I think, that you also, if serious should consider the issue's of morality as being not only life saving for you but, your future, and your future family. dear heart, you need to get serious yourself. about protecting your own interests more than fueling some young mans ego Thur free sex. i wish you god speed in the future that you learn from others words before mistakes or error in judgment's teach"s the hard reality's to life, god bless and be like a wise old owl and look before leaping in to the fire. are you aware of all the sexually transmitted disease's out there today, have you ever considered that while he's playing you , he, more than likely has atleast 3 to 15 other young women that he has learn't has error's in judgements in our world of today, besides yourself, your apparently young and ever so gullible. sweetheart, sounds like you have got a serious inferority,or insecurity complex. sex is no magic cure for that, you need to know right from wrong and do what you know is in your own best interests for not only yourself but, for the future security of a family, that you may someday have. sweetheart , go talk to some-one close to you and if nessisary talk to a medical doctor about these issue's. he will atleast be able to give you some good solid advise and protection. where are your parents?last but not least , baby, who wouldn't play the part of play pretend for sex served on a silver platter in todays world. but it's still morally wrong, and politically incorrect.

Answer 7

girl, you need to DUMP him like yeah! friends with benefits mean that he just want to have sex with you but does not want to go any further, than where you are at this moment. he just saying that you are good sex company, but maybe, just you should leave him be and go on with your life. no woman wants a man that does not want her back. so just tell him, "i am NOT your sex toy, and me and you have to be more than friends with benefits. how stupid does that sound coming out of a computer!!!

Answer 8

"i'm no longer going to take delivery of regulations I even ought to abide through" - as a member of society, you're already abiding through particular social regulations and norms. you settle to those regulations because society applications extra perfect even as human beings artwork together (ie, everyone seems paid for the artwork they grant) and falls aside even as they don't (mugging, rape, arson). A courting isn't any different. you settle to particular regulations that help the courting (constancy, affection, mutual appreciate). you're disillusioned because you imagine countless the guidelines are too restrictive. that is a subjective declare, so that you pick to artwork that out together with your better 1/2. Does "taking section in your self" comprise habit that your better 1/2 feels violates truly one of the different regulations? for instance, in case you want flirting with different women human beings (as your image and person identity may recommend), does your better 1/2 experience that is emotional dishonest? in case you want staying out late eating, does that go away your better 1/2 feeling abandoned and undesirable? communicate it out somewhat of ranting and childishly gazing for to do in spite of you pick each and every miunte of your existence.

Answer 9

I am in the same situation,(being the male) Its good to have sex without fights all the time and without seen each other all the time

Answer 10

He likes to do you, but he's not interested in anything more. He told you that, and you still sleep with him. Sex is sex. That's all you have with him.