funniest x-files quote?

Question

what is your funniest xfiles quote said by scully and or mulder. mine is Baseball Alien in the beginning where scully's like your grabbing life by the............. lol!

Answer 1

Mulder quotes:

"Is there any way that I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?" in 'Squeeze';

"I scream you scream we all scream for nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicles," in 'The Unnatural'.

Mulder and Scully quotes:

Mulder: "We just spooned up and fell asleep like little baby cats. Isn't that right Honeybunch? Scully: That's right Poopyhead," in 'Arcadia';

Scully: "Whatever happened to 'trust no one'? Mulder: Oh I changed it to 'trust everyone'. I didn't tell you?" from 'Colony'.

Scully quotes:

"Keep it up Mulder, and I'll hurt you like that beast woman," in 'The Jersey Devil';

"Did you know the inventor of the flush toilet was named Thomas Crapper?" in 'War of the Coprophages'.

There are many good ones, mostly from Mulder. He had so many good one-liners and quips. Those are a few of the ones I like.

Answer 2

There are way to many. ^_^
But a very good part is:*its kinda long i had to look it up to remember it all.*

Barmaid: "I'd say this just about exceeds your minimum daily requirement." [Mulder empties the glass and as he sets it down he knocks over some of the numerous other glasses on the bar] "Whoa, you've got to train for that kind of heavy lifting. Poopy day?" [Mulder signals that he wants another drink] "So, what do you do?"
Mulder: "What do I do?"
Barmaid: "Mmm hmm."
Mulder: "I'm the key figure in an ongoing Government charade, the plot to conceal the truth about the existence of extraterrestrials. It's a global conspiracy, actually, with key players in the highest levels of power, that reaches down into the lives of every man, woman and child on the planet." [Mulder laughs] "So, of course, no one believes me. I'm an annoyance to my superiors, a joke to my peers. They call me 'Spooky'. Spooky Mulder, whose sister was abducted by aliens when he was just a kid and who now chases after little green men with a badge and a gun, shouting to the heavens or to anyone who'll listen that the fix is in, that the sky is falling and when it hits it's going to be the s**t storm of all time."
Barmaid: "Well. I would say that about does it, Spooky." [She takes his shot glass away]
Mulder: "Does what?"
Barmaid: "Looks like 86 is your lucky number."
Mulder: "You know, one is the loneliest number."

from the movie.

Answer 3

Scully:There's something up there, Mulder. Mulder:Well, I've been saying that for years.

Answer 4

Funniest X Files

Answer 5

Here you go.