ive been with my b/f for 4 years and we argue all the time?

Question

me and my boyfriend have been together almost 4 years now and we have a daughter together but i am just not happy.. i dont work or have any friends, i basically stay home all day, clean, eat, watch tv and take care of my daughter. i feel very useless. i feel like all i ever do is clean and take care of my daughter. before we got together i use to get out and go do things but now i dont ever get out. partly too because he dont like goin anywhere. he dont wanna go out to eat or to the movies or anything. and i try to tell him all the time that im not happy and try to get him to take me out but he refuses. its like cuz he dont want to we dont do it. is that fair? and everytime i try to tell him how im feelin, he feels like im jus naggin again. its like he dont care. he jus thinks im naggin but im not im jus tryin to let him know how i feel..i know he really loves me i have no doubt i just dont know what to do.. i cry alot over this and i need some real good advice plz

Answer 1

I hate to tell you this, but you are on a dead end street. He's not going to change because he has no reason to. You've wound up being married without a husband. I don't know how old you are but you're obviously too young to spend the rest of your life the way it's going. Try sitting him down and telling him, without any crying or raising your voice...very quietly, calmly and seriously...that he can either start giving you some consideration or you are going to take your child and leave. Then DO it. It does you no good if you threaten and don't follow through. Also, there's no law that says you HAVE to cook, clean, do laundry, etc. You can decide to do only what needs to be done for yourself and your child. When he asks why, you can tell him that he shows no consideration for YOU, so you no longer feel any need to be considerate of HIM. He is probably going to use the old "I work and pay all the bills in this house" etc. Fine - get yourself a job, make your own money and your own friends. You are choosing to live like you do. Choose to change it.

Answer 2

A lot of stay-at-home-moms feel this same way sometimes. You spend all day at home, virtually by yourself, without any outside contact. You get lonely, you get bored, and you desperately want to go out and DO something.

Your bf, on the other hand, spends all day at work, doing things, talking to people, dealing with issues, working hard, etc, and when he gets home at night all he wants to do is stop, relax, and not DO anything.

The problem really isn't him, and it isn't you, either. The situation that you are in is normal. It can be frustrating, but you can do things about it, too.

Try taking your daughter out more often. Get her enrolled in story hour, dance class, art class, play group, whatever. Take her to the zoo, to the park, and get in touch with some other mothers in your community. By planning ahead, you can keep yourself busy with these outings, you can get out and do things and retain your sanity. When you get home, then, you'll have had your fill of "being out" and you'll be able to sit back and relax with your boyfriend, instead of feeling antsy and restless.
Good luck!

Answer 3

apperantly he doesnt want 2 b seen wit u in publick. that or hes just really lazy. u tell him either he goes out somewear wit u or itz over! but if thatz 2 dramatic 4 u just go places wit yur daughter. like the mall. if u keep her in the house all day, then she will think less of u. show her yur the greatest mom ever. & u dont need dad 2 help u.

Answer 4

Sounds as if you could use a night out on the town. Or at least something to break the drag of the every day ritual.
Make plans with friends and enjoy yourself.

Answer 5

Yes? I understand you are a slave to your own desires? Men his age are thinking of the future and fiances and food and shelter, not having fun. You are what becomes known as the Ball and Chain so he cannot have any fun.
You need friends, someone to speak to, a woman more than a man, church, or a cause to live and fight for, a purpose for living, something to stimulate your mind, because your life is not fully comprehending the good you are doing for your child.
You create the home world, you make the home peaceful or bad, you are making your home hell for him and your child without realizing this. My advice is God is forcing you to understand you need him not yahoo answers to help you.
My wife waited 14 years to tell me sometimes she needed me just to listen to me rather than try and solve her problems.
You cannot know or understand how much this helped me as a husband, because all my life I have tried to help people solve their problems at my job, but she did not care for or needed my help except just to listen as she talked. Maybe you need a man just to listen to you, or a woman ?

Answer 6

why dont you get a part time job? contact your old friends? or just go out shopping by yourself or with your daughter? i bet that will cheer you up.
and about him, perhaps its time to find someone new.