How to bring up self harm in counseling?

Question

I need to talk to my counselor about self harm (cutting)

I just don't know how to go about it.

I brought it up once a few months ago but was very embarassed and changed the sujbect. She hasn't mentioned it since, so i guess its down to me.

I just don't know how to say it.

Answer 1

Hi Dark Girl,

I can only tell you from personal experience it is scary to do. The more comfortable you feel with your counsellor the easier it will be. I cut from my self with a blade from a box cutter, from the wrist all the way up to where your arm bends on the inside of the arm. I was totally relieved when when my counsellor didn't over react or get upset but he did ask to see the damage.

Like you I felt embarrassed and very guilty that I had done this, but there was a relief in telling my counsellor what I had done. I guess we feel guilty because we know in one sense it's wrong but on the other hand we feel so much pain emotionally, it kind of relieves it in a way and focuses our pain somewhere else if that makes any sense to you.

I hope this helps you and do try to communicate openly with your Counsellor, you will hopefully find relief in that for your self. Just note, some counsellors do overreact depending on the damage someone has done to them self's and can and do have the right to send you into hospital. From your stated in your comment / question I don't think it's going to be that big an issue since you had brought it up previously in communication. Good Luck!



Sincerely,

Alice H.

Answer 2

Print out this question and bring it to her. That way you don't have to say it, and you don't have to think about what you're telling her to actually start the conversation. Of you could write a note to give her in the counseling session. Or if you know her email address, you can email her and say something like: "I told you a while ago that I cut, and I didn't want to talk about it then, but I think I'm ready to talk about it now only I'm not sure I can bring it up in person, so can you please ask me about it at our next session?"

If you'd rather not write it down, then just say how you feel. If there's something specific about it that's bothering you, tell her exactly what's bothering you. If you're not sure exactly what it is about it that you want to talk about, just tell her that it bothers you that you cut yourself and you want to talk about it.

Another way you could go about it is ask her why she hasn't brought it up since you first mentioned it. If you're worried about it coming off as an attack, maybe tell her that you've talked to some people online who say that that's what most counselors do if you just mention it once and change the subject, and you're wondering why it's considered better not to bring it up. Make it an accademic question about counseling in general, rather than a personal issue. It just depends what you're most comfortable with - personally I'm pretty interested in medicine (I'm considering medical school after college), so I've asked my psychiatrist quite a few questions that really were just intellectual curiousity about the process and had nothing to do with my treatment in particular, so that's probably how I'd be most comfortable bringing up something like that.

However you decide to tell her, know that she does remember that you cut, and she's just been waiting for you to be ready to talk about it. She'll be glad that you're ready to talk about it.

Answer 3

Sometimes it's best just to come out and say it; exactly what you want the person to know. It was really hard for me to say it the first time too but once I did and we started talking about it I felt better and the embarrassment and everything went away. But your counselor can't help you unless she knows what's going on. And maybe start by say I feel really embarrassed saying this or however you feel; I feel __________ saying this, but... and continue from there. That way she knows that it is hard for you and she might push a little harder to get it out because she knows you want to say it, but are havin a hard time. Good Luck, I hope that was helpful.

Answer 4

There's an old saying, "the doctor is only as good as it's patient". Your counselor can only help what you open up to them. It's not so much how as if. Nothing you bring up that is worth mentioning will ever be comfortable. You must step out of your comfort zone to change.

The flip side of this is, if you feel a lack of connection with your counselor, you might need to find a new one that you can open up to. Still, I suggest giving them a chance.

Answer 5

If you're not comfortable enough to talk about it even after months of seeing this counseler, maybe they're not a good counseler...
I had a counseler who I was very uncomfortable talking to because she was opinionative and would contradict me, and I stopped seeing her right away because she wasn't helping me. I'm completely open with my new counseler though, and it's helped a lot.
Also, the fact that she hasn't brought it up herself is a sign she might not be the counseler for you. Most counselers will try to get to the very root of the problem, even if they have to worm their way into the subject. =/
If you can't switch counselers, then maybe it's best to try to talk to her about it. Just say that there is something that's concerning you, and explain the situation to her. Maybe start with when you started cutting, etc to lead up to the problem. This will most likely make her listen, while just saying "I cut" will most likely make her surprised and make the situation more awkward.
Hope this helps, and good luck!

Answer 6

nicely in case you've self belief her then you fairly ought to write a letter for her to examine even as your in a gathering consisting of her in case your afraid to say the be conscious's outloud, remeber she in all likelihood has heard from different human beings interior an identical difficulty, i understand self harming she has for constructive, you could sense on my own, and scared yet once you could ultimately open up and percentage this large weight you've been sporting, you'll sense s a lot more effective i promise you, and also you'll commence transferring ahead right into a happier fit position for you. and also you should provide your self that threat so please do.

Answer 7

maybe you need a new counselor that listens to you, be brave and tell them everything so you can get better

Answer 8

just bring it up again and ask her not to change the subject and you don't chang it either! good luck and get well.