I will be traveling out of state soon for my gentleman friend's daughter's wedding. I will be spending the whole weekend . He is insisting that I attend the rehearsal dinner with him. I feel this would be extremely innappropriate. I have always been led to believe that the rehearsal dinner was for members of the wedding party. I do not want to have a major breach of manners here, especially since this wedding will be the first time I will be meeting his family. It is a major bone of contention between the two of us. I might add I am southern, and he is from New Jersey......are customs different up north?
2007-02-04 06:43:05 · 22 answers · asked by Mary L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I live in Pennsylvania (just across the river from Jersery) and every rehearsal dinner I have been to has been for the bridal party and their spouses when applicable. Being that you are going to be in from out of state, I would think they would include you as well since the gentleman you are attending with is the father of the bride. Traditionally, the groom's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner so you could always have your gentleman friend ask them first if that would make you more comfortable about the whole situation. But if it were my rehearsal dinner or even just one for a friend, I'd be expecting you to attend, as well. Hope this helps you at least a little.
2007-02-04 07:27:58 · answer #1 · answered by Amy Lynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The rehearsal dinner is generally intended for anyone involved in the wedding (family, party, readers, etc) as well as any out of town guests. If your gentleman friend was invited to the wedding and the rehearsal dinner with a guest, you are well within your means to go. However, if you are feeling apprehensive, and you get along with his daughter, ask her how she feels about your attendance. I'm sure she'll be okay with it.
I would say you are invited, don't be sheepish. You are a part of your "gentleman friend's" life now, and you will need to interact with the rest of the family. Don't worry, the rehearsal dinner is focused on the food, the gifts (the bride and groom give the party) and fun. It won't be an issue if you're there.
(I'm from Mass)
2007-02-04 06:56:12 · answer #2 · answered by Just tryin' to help 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Rehearsal Dinner has changed with the times...
Now it is not only for the bridal party, but can be for anyone that has played a special role in the planning of the wedding (or just in the lives of the bride & groom) as well as any out of town family/special guests. People are often included in the dinner - just because - even if they did not need to be at the site for the rehearsal itself. It's a way to say thank you - for your help, for being here, for your support, etc.
Rehaearsal dinners are a great chance to get to know people a little bit before the day. My brother had his "rehesearal dinner" at my home - we just had lasagna - and I so enjoyed meeting the bride's attendants and her aunt that had come in from FL. I wouldn't have had much time to talk to get to know them at the wedding to being able to meet them prior to was great. It helped us acutally have a better time at the recepetion.
Go - enjoy yourself - better to meet them under the more relaxed rehearsal than the reception.
2007-02-04 08:48:57 · answer #3 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The rehearsal dinner is typically for members of the wedding party, and immediate family members who are from out of town, so it is entirely appropriate that you attend the rehearsal dinner with your friend, as his partner. Also, my brother's wedding is next month, and my family will be at the rehearsal dinner, even though none of us are "in" the wedding party, because we live over 1000 miles away. So go, and have a good time! I can't think of a better time to meet his family, personally.
2007-02-04 07:08:22 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree the rehersal dinner is for the wedding and the family of the bride and groom. When I had mine we invited the people who did the guest book and the special music because they were close friends. Also at my friends wedding I invited to the rehersal dinner because I did the guest book and I new the Bride for over 25 years. The best place to meet your friends parents is at the wedding if that is the only time you will get to meet them. By the way it is not a southern thing or a Jersey thing, it is ettiquette. Your friend should look in any wedding planner or wedding ettiquette book.
2007-02-04 06:53:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally the rehearsal dinner is for the wedding party. However in recent years I've seen people invite close family and friends involved in the wedding to the dinner. If your friend says that it's o.k. don't worrry. Also, if you are certain that this relationship will be long term and possibly lead to marriage then it would be nice to attend this rehearsal dinner with your friend.
2007-02-04 06:57:12 · answer #6 · answered by smilingkitty7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I live in SC and am getting married May 5. I am inviting the wedding party, close friends and immediate family, and any out of town guests to the rehearsal dinner. I believe and have been told that you should definitely invite anyone who has to travel a ways to attend your wedding. I believe in your situation it is prefectly acceptable and you may even hurt their feelings if you do not attend.
2007-02-04 11:25:00 · answer #7 · answered by mcrp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely invited to attend the rehearsal dinner. I live in NY, and this is how it is always done. The bridal party is invited of course, as well as their spouses/dates and sometimes children. The grandparents of bride and groom, guests from out of town who will be there the night before the wedding are also invited. Significant others of the grooms and brides parents are also invited. Parents of the flower girl/ring bearer, and siblings of the bride and groom are included (along with their dates). Rehearsal dinners can be quite big nowadays. It isn't inappropriate at all that you are invited, the inappropriate part would be to NOT go, Have fun!
2007-02-04 11:19:05 · answer #8 · answered by MelB 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's fine for you to go. Most rehearsal dinners include the people who are in the wedding, dates or spouses. It also sometimes include out of town special guests. (Like Grandma/Grandpa and such) Being with the bride's father certainly qualifies. Besides this will give you a chance to meet many people in a more casual atmosphere. I don't know how the bride's mom will react, but hopefully she's beyond any ill feelings, and remembers that this is her daughter's and almost son-in-laws time in the limelight. Stop worrying, go, and enjoy.
2007-02-04 07:08:39 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I thought the same as you, that only the wedding party attends the rehersal dinner. When my mother-in-law told me that she has approximatly 60 people on the list for the rehersal dinner I almost fell over! Apparently, it is very normal to invite the wedding party, their guests, the parents of the bride and groom and their siblings and children, as well as out-of-town guests.
So by all means, go and enjoy it! I am sure that there will be many other guests outside of the wedding party.
2007-02-04 07:22:24 · answer #10 · answered by NoTurningBackNow 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋