my wife is white and her brother is 18 and her brother is a clean freak so when eveer there is the slightest big of mess in the house he says TIE!!!! clean the house better and stuff like that
THEN on top of that he makes jokes about my chinese background and how i cant drive good (which i can)
THEN in MY 2700 sq f house he finds MY socks lying around and puts them in the garbage because he thinks i should take better care of them
THEN he steals my chinese beer bottles that i have in my bar in the basment and takes them into the bottle depot
i think he got like 3 dollars
AND he makes the same stupid jokes over and over again
What should i do about this without throwing him out or doing anything illegal?
he does have to stay with us his parents are gone for a while
so we cant kick him out
so what should i do about this?
2007-02-04 06:43:05 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell him unless he stops you will throw him out. Period. Be a man!
2007-02-04 06:49:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
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2016-11-02 07:39:26 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aren't there any other family members he can stay with? Maybe your wife can stay at the parents house with him while they are gone. But if it were MY house that I was paying for and taking care of the bills for, he would get a serious talking to. Ask him straight up, does he have some kind of problem with your race? That you don't find his jokes funny but hurtful. And about your socks. Maybe throw HIS stuff out. IT"S YOUR HOUSE!!! Other than that...I would throw out your wife and her brother, why hasn't she suck up for you? I wouldn't put up with this for a second longer!
2007-02-04 07:02:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be the man of the house. Sit him down alone with a bullet point list and give him instructions. Here's what he needs to do:
1. Stop demanding anything of anyone. He is a guest and not welcome if he continues to be a rpblem.
2. If he throws you socks away again, he will buy you new ones.
3. If he has an anger problem then he must seek help or get out.
Make your own list, but be stern. While he is welcome, he is a guest. He is not welcome to be some kind of ruler. Let him know, if it continues you will evict him.
Before you do this, talk with your wife and let her know you're going to. She will need to be prepared.
2007-02-04 06:54:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that this is your home and if he doesn't like the way things are then get his own place. Kick him out, I wouldn't take that for 5 minutes I'd show him the door , your letting him run over you. Tell you wife to tell her brother to hit the road today not tomorrow but today. You say his parents are gone, he don't even have a job, tell his sorry a** to get a job and get the hell out of your home.
2007-02-04 06:52:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't mention what you wife thinks about all of this. So, I'm going to assume she is not getting the same treatment you are getting.
At any rate, you need to set boundaries with both your wife and your brother-in-law.
First, let your wife know that her brother's behavior is unacceptable. That if she expects him to stay with you, he is going to have to show respect for you and your personal property. Otherwise, she and her brother can go stay at her parents home until they return and you'll see her when she's finished baby sitting. Let her know, you expect her right by your side, to back you up, when you confront her brother. Remind her, gently but firmly, that she is your wife first, then sister and daughter next.
Second, Let your brother-in-law know that his behavior is unacceptable. Tell your brother-in-law that this is your house and that if he expects to stay with you, he will have to obey the rules you set down. One of which is don't touch my stuff! Another is to keep his little ethnic slurs to himself.
Third, lay down the law to this young man and let him know that you expect him to be on his best behavior. Let him know you have already told his sister if he continues to show you disrespect that she can babysit him at his house.
Last, if it becomes necessary to ship your wife and her brother to her parents house, get in touch with her parents and tell them that their son and daughter will be staying at their house until they get back. Then tell them why. I'm sure, if they are decent people, they will understand. They probably already know he's a pain in the neck.
2007-02-04 07:12:08 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. Rut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop whining. Two options:
Direct, if you have guts 1) Tell him on his face who is the man of the house, or Political if you have brains 2) Do something to excite him to say wrong things in front of your wife. Your wife will eventually kick him out.
Good luck.
2007-02-04 07:00:48 · answer #7 · answered by Freddy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sit down with him and explain the rules of the house. Its very stupid of him calling names. As a matter of fact its your wife who should be telling him how to live in the house and respect you at the same time. Bonus for you, even though its your house you can make as much as you like, may be you can keep it bit tidier.
2007-02-04 06:52:38 · answer #8 · answered by Iqbal 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're home is your castle, bro. Be the king. Throw his disrespectful butt out of the home. Put him in a motel if you have to. Somewhere along the line, he wasn't taught how to be a respectful guest. The problem isn't yours, it's his. And your wife's problem if she tolerates the disrespecting of you. I'd beat your wife's brother into a pulp....
2007-02-04 07:05:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let him know that you do not appriciate his behaviour and unless he behaves repectfully he will have to go regardless of the situation. What does your wife have to say about this. Maybe she should talk to him and let him know that she values your relationship and do'nt want his behavour to ruin it. Take a stance all the best.
2007-02-04 06:51:53 · answer #10 · answered by Pebbles 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋