The scenerio?

Question

Do you feel like the black sheep of your family? I do. I am the only boy in a family of 5 siblings. My entire life my sisters have felt like they have had to fix me. Now that were all grown up I still feel like they want to fix me or that I am not good enough to be a part of their lives. I have worked really hard to get my life in order. I just got a new job, I have been clean and sober for almost 6 years not yet none of this seems to be good enough. This isnt with all of my sisters. Some have been really supportive. I am actually having problems with just two right now. One doesnt even acknowledge my exisitance when we get together at family events, and the other is a controll freak who nitpicks everything that i do. I have addressed these issues in the past and it gets better for a while but then I start getting treated crappy again. Its not just by my sisters either its my in-laws also. I am about ready to just stop participating in family events. Any suggestions? I am out of ideas?

Answer 1

Thats great that u r improving your life but dont do that to get the approval of others do it for yourself. And as regards your sisters they have issues thats not your problem. But maybe u could go to classes for your self esteem. Then u will start feeling good about yourself and when conflicting circumstances come your way u will be able to brush it off.

Answer 2

Let me give you a run down of my family. I have 2 older sisters. I love em to death and they love me but they can't stand eachother don't have any idea why they just argue all the time. They are 33 and 32 and I'm 22. I always kinda thought maybe because they grew up so close in age but I've seen other sibilings that are like that but they are fine with each other. Now for the rest of the family, my mom has 6 brothers and 3 sisters so we have a big family, everybody talks about everybody behind their back and then will be sweet with them to their faces. It's way out of control. Well growing up with like 30 cousins of course there is going to be the favorite. There is one female who let's put it out there isn't so innocent. She was married got a divorce then was dating this guy for less than 2 months an found out she was pregnant with twins well she ended up losing the kids and they are getting married, but he has 3 girls from a previous marriage. Now it's not like I'm saying she is a horrible person but I don't think it's fair that everyone says she can do no wrong. But yet in the beginning of my relationship with a black guy my family didn't know what to say to me. So I do understand how you feel about that part but I really don't know what to say about your 2 sisters. It's hard to have to go through that. With my sisters I feel like I'm not being a good sibling because I can't help them. Maybe if you got your other sisters together and asked them if they would sit down with everyone and tell them that they see it too it may make them realize what's really going on. I hope this helps and it makes sense.
Good Luck

Answer 3

I can't say I've ever been in your shoes, but it doesn't sound like much of a fun place to be. If you've cleaned up your life and a couple of your sisters can't see that, then it's THEIR problem Everything in life is a choice. They are choosing to deprive themselves of a good relationship with you. You chose to give up your former life, but they refuse to see that. All they see is who you used to be. Don't stop participating in family events - you'd only be playing right into their hands. You are clean and sober now. You don't have to hang your head to anybody. You hold your head high and be proud of who you have become. Go and enjoy the other two sisters, or if the cold atmosphere there is too much, then just make plans with your two sisters to do things aside from the two who have chosen not to love you. As for your in-laws, you married your wife, not them. The same applies to them as to your sisters, if they can't see who you have become, then hold your head high and don't choose to let them get to you. Congratulations on getting your life together. God bless ya.

Answer 4

Stop trying to please everyone. You have cleaned up your life and have been doing well for 6 years...good for you! One thing I might say, when people have disappointed with someone or hurt by the bad things they have done, it might take some time to prove to them that things have REALLY changed. But you have done well and your other sisters are supportive. Continue with what you are doing and if the other sisters can't get with the program, well too bad for them. THEY are the ones who will lose out on YOUR life and the special realtionship with the rest of the family too. Sounds like they might be the ones who need to get some help. Good job dude, keep up the good work.