my four year old has a HUGE attitude problem.?

Question

my daughter has become so disrespectful lately she trods around like shes the queen we have always treated her with respect why is she doing this ive tried taking her toys away when she wouldnt pick them up i have tried ignoring her behavior and if i spank her laughs and says it doesnt hurt same with time out she just laughs at everything i do to try and punish her is it just a phase? do all four old girls act like paris hilton?

Answer 1

Maybe not, but I think Paris Hilton acts like most 4yo'ds.

All kids require consistancy in their lives. It's what gives them a sense of security. Your daughter has witnessed inconsistent boundaries, so she is testing the limits as far as she can, so she can rediscover them.

So when she misbehaves she needs to be able to predict what her consequenses will be with 100% accuracy.
She doesn't need to cry everytime you punish her for her to know she is being punished. She has obviously learned that if she laughs at you when you try to punish her that she has an affect on you that works to her advantage.
She is doing battle with you, & right now she is winning, & you have let her know it.
First thing to remember is to pick your battles with her.
What I mean is: If you know that she is going to give you hell in the store when you take her shopping, & you don't have the ability to rain down consequenses right there in the store, then don't take her shopping with you until you are confident that she will behave when she is told. Find a baby sitter, or wait until your husband is home.
Next thing is when she raises the price of poker, you match, & raise it yourself.
So if she tells you that a timeout isn't enough punishment for her, then tell her OK, this time it's a timeout, & your favourite toy goes to a poor kid who will appreciate it.
Once she notices that her toy closet is emptying out, she will start to talk back less.
Stay calm through this time. A show of emotions such as anger turns her focus on to you, instead of what she did wrong.
Get your husband on the same page as you.
A united front from the parents is crucial. Remember what I said about consistancy. If she knows she can divide & conquer, she will.
Have you ever watched the TV show Supernanny?
They demonstrate a very effective timeout system on that show with almost every episode. If you follow her steps consistantly, & without fail, I can't see how you can go wrong with any normal four year old. So I won't elaborate here on the method, just watch the show. I have employed it with my grandaughter, & her parents still don't believe that she is better behaved with me than she is with them, but it's a fact.

Answer 2

No, they do not all act like Paris Hilton. Some children are simply "difficult" children and only those that have them know what i am talking about. I am not sure if she has a father in her life at all and if you both are together. The reason i ask is because it is important that the way he disciplines her is the same as you. (if case & want more info. e-mail me)

You must stand firm. If spanking does not work and time out does not work, then taking EVERYTHING AWAY from this child. And that means for more than just a short time. No television, toys,(packed up and put in the garage or storage),only books. Anything that you see that pleases her you take away. Do not argue with the child. Let her throw her tantrums all throughout the house because, what else is she going to do? Yes, there is running away. My daughter tried that at 2. We let her. We sat in the truck and started it and let her sit outside and then she cried. Sometimes "push" has to come to shove. No, it isn't fun to hear the tantrums. AFter you take the toys away, and the tantrums begin, simply go into your room and get on the computer and fade away. Soon, she will realize her attempts are not working and she will not get her way and you will hear silence. A child will not throw a temper for 24 hours so i think you are not telling the whole story here.

Answer 3

This sounds like normal 3 year old behavior to me. I bet he only does these things for you and not grandparents or other caretakers. It's normal and you just have to set boundaries and make the consequences very consistant. At 3 he should be able to sit through a 3 minute time out. Pick a spot and have him sit there after he has had one warning. If you do this each and every time he will know exactly what to expect from you. Children want boundaries and they need to know what to expect. He is testing you now. If he knows what will happen he won't need to do it anymore. Good luck and remember that this is normal. He actually sounds like a sweet boy. Spirited, but sweet. Give it time. Don't feel like you have to spank him to get your point accross. I think it sends a bad message. Hitting wouldn't be an appropriate way for him to deal with frustration so why should it be appropriate for an adult to do?

Answer 4

sounds like my daughter shes 4 in a couple of months, i spoke to them at nursery and they said shes the complete opposite really quieter and reserved ,i think it just them growing up and asserting there selves, and long as she knows shes gonna get punished for the really naughty things try not to worry, when shes being a madam ignore her and show her that kinda behavior don't get attention she will soon give up. WOW some of the answers you have are disgusting do not wack her so hard she flys across the room,or take a belt to her that is called child abuse where i come from and them people shouldnt have kids let alone give advice, dont worry she will be fine in a few months.

Answer 5

Wow. I am reading some of these responses and I am flabbergasted. The one a few answers above me that says she/he will take food RIGHTS away and makes her/his child ask for it on their knees is disgusting. Eating is not privilege it is a RIGHT and a NEED.

I am NOT against a spanking here and there but from reading some of these answers it is obvious some do not need to be parents.

At 4 yrs old she is testing her boundries. The good thing is you recognize there is a problem and she is young enough that it shouldn't be TOO hard to correct. Pick a punishment and be consistant. She wants you to be consistant. Stick to it and make sure you stand firm on her rules and consequences.

Answer 6

Take away her toys and priviliges until she behaves. Taking away things doesn't do any good if you give them back 5 minutes later. After a week of not being able to watch tv or play with any toys you can bet she'll have a much better attitude.

Answer 7

Don't ignore her behavior.

You should just hide her toys, and threaten that if she doesn't pick up her toys, you'll take them away. And, you won't have to worry about her picking them up.

If you spank her, do it really hard so it does hurt, then she won't have anything to laugh about (don't injure her, just smack her hard enough that it hurts).

Most four year old girls act like this, hopefully it's just a phase.

Answer 8

Make sure to never hit your child. I suggest showing her how stressed and tired/sad she makes you. Every time she's bad or sassy, sigh and tell her "you're hurting mommy". After she startes softening, try doing something like baking or whatever.

Answer 9

boys do that too. and it is completely normal. if my son did not pick up his toys, I told him I would and I would throw them out. he didn't believe me, but I put them in a bag and threw them out. I really hid them in the garage where he wouldn't find them. and after that he did what he was told. they just want to see how far they can push your buttons. let her know that you are serious and keep it. show her she is not the boss that you are. good luck.

Answer 10

read Shepherding a Child's Heart it works gr-8 it's 4 babies to teens. Gr-8 book!