Is it safe if your a young mother to see a shrink?

Question

I'm dealing with alot of things and my bf of 8yrs suggested I should talk to someone. I don't see how it could help. That and I'm afraid it will get back to my daughters school and somehow make me look like an unfit mother, or to my work and make me look like an unfit employee. Like I said I don't see how it can help....I guess the better question is, is there a subsitute to therapy that can make you more stable in the head?

Over the past year I suffered a fourth miscarriage which was much more dramatic then the others. I've had repeat surgiers and now have an impending condition, possible cancer. Which will take another surgery to figure out.....that with just life on top of it. Some backround and all..

Answer 1

First of all, just because you go see a psychiatrist or psychologist does not make you crazy. My mother always said if you feel you need to talk to someone, walk, don't run. If someone else suggests it, run, if not to prove them right, just to prove them wrong. And I discovered after having my son at 15 I needed to get myself straight. I had too much to deal with. I saw a Psychiatrist, and all we talked about was what I did during the day. Same things you do with your friends.

Sometimes seeing a professional helps, and most employers offer a service to their employees for just that reason, to help them get through their personal problems so their job is not affected. And you would be surprised how many students at your child's school are in groups.

Think of it this way, it can't hurt, not if just you know. But it seems more that you are worried about what others think, (job, school), not how it is affecting your family and yourself.

And the only thing that makes a human stable in anything is to deal with it head on. No herbal concoction can make your problems go away, or pay your bills. But those problems have caused many men and women to kill themselves and their families.

Answer 2

Go ahead and see someone. it doesn't make you unfit to see a shrink, and in fact the courts LOVE to see that people are "in therapy". It really makes you look like a GREAT Mother when you are concerned and have the wisdom to speak to a proffessional about it of your own accord. Nobody asked you to go into therapy...you just thought it was a good idea. Do it...it can't hurt anything. Even if it were a BAD thing which it's not, shrinks are bound by the same Dr./patient confidentiality as all other Dr.s.

Answer 3

It's safe for ANYONE to see a shrink. Seeing a therapist doesn't mean your crazy. Lots and lots of people see therapists to deal with a lot more ordinary, everyday types of issues than what you described. No one will know you're seeing a therapist, since your medical history is confidential, and even if they did, no one would think anything of it. Probably at least half the parents at your daughters school, and your coworkers are seeing a therapist themselves. Anyway, the only way anyone would ever find out you're seeing a shrink would be if they just happened to somehow run into you in the waiting room, in which case they'd be seeing one too, and definitely wouldn't think it's something they should go around telling everyone about.

What COULD ultimately make you an unfit mother and employee is refusing to take care of your own mental health. I'm sure you're holding everything together fine now, but what you described in the additional details is a lot for anyone to deal with. What kind of mother and employee will you make if you eventually snap under the pressure of it all, and can't even get out of bed in the morning, let alone take care of your daughter or go to work.

There's absolutely no shame in seeing a therapist. Heck, in high school I had this teacher who had us turn in long homework questions every day but just looked to see we'd written something and didn't read them, and one of my friends started writing about her therapy sessions in the homework paper she was turning into her teacher. I know lots of people who not only go to a shrink, but actually tell people things about their therapy sessions, and they're all high-functioning people who no one would accuse of not having things together.

Miscarriages and serious illness are both traumatic experiences, and I'd be worried if they DIDN'T effect you. It's totally normal to want to talk to a counselor to help you deal with those things, not to mention the inherent stress of being a working mother, and doing so doesn't mean that you're crazy, or that you can't function. All it means is that you're going through some things and know that you could be a lot happier if you were better able to deal with them. It's a good, responsible thing to do, that means you're taking care of yourself.

Answer 4

I don't know. I always thought going to therapy was trendy where I'm from. Everyone has a shrink out here. Remember the confidentiality aspect. No one will know you go unless you tell them, or unless they're sitting in the waiting room right there with you, and then I doubt they will say something. And - see, I'm wondering what geographical location you are from because there is absolutely no stigma out here for people who get therapy because people generally view it just as important as any other health matter. Your school will not see you as unfit, nor will your job, in my opinion. I'd suggest trying it out. An unfit mother would be someone who knows she has problems but does not seek out answers - and you're on here, so obviously you're not that.

Answer 5

Therapy is completely confidential. Unless you or your b/f tell anyone, no one would find out. Talking does a lot. Therapy helps. Going to therapy is a hard decision, and it shows you are strong enough to get help. Your mind is just coming up with reasons why not to go. It is highly unlikely anyone would find out. Plus, you might be better to get therapy, and seen as a good mother for getting it. It sets a good example for your daughter.
Another option is medication, but, you will have to see a doctor, most likely a psychiatrist, for it anyways. And the side effects of meds are worse than talking. You could write too, like journal. It is similar to talking , but no one has to hear it.
It is your choice. Meds help your mood, but therapy gets the underlying issues and is better in the long run. Journaling helps in the moment, but does not give feedback on anything.

Answer 6

The fact that you're seeing a Psychologist doesn't mean that you're an unfit mother! It means that you care enough about your kids to take care of yourself so you can take great care of them.

It's unrealistic to think that we can solve ALL out problems by ourselves. If your car wasn't running smoothly you'd take it to someone who knows about cars, and if you needed a new bath tub installed you'd hire a pro. Why is it alright to seek help for those things but when we need help coping with the events in our lives we are ashamed?

I've seen a Psychologist and I'm a much better person for it. I'm more compassionate, more relaxed and more tolerant. I've learned some really important methods of dealing with problems that come up in life and that's made my life (and I'm sure the lives around me) much happier.

If people think it reflects poorly on my reputation as a mother, friend or employee then it just means they don't understand that I did it to make life better. Who could fault me for that?

Answer 7

Yes, therapy is private. I would wonder how long have you been feeling this way because young mothers can suffer from Post Part um Depression.

I think the risk of not talking to someone out weights any risk of seeking help. Think of the child involved.

Answer 8

I have five kids and I see a therapist. It would be more dangerous if you are having alot of psychological issues and you opted not to get help. My kids' schools know I have health problems and they know my kids are well cared for. As long as you aren't neglecting your kids you don't need to worry. As for your job, it really depends on the kind of work environment you are in. Most work places though encourage their employees to seek help because it helps with productivity if you can get some relief for you psychological issues.

Whether or not you benefit from a therapist depends on your situation and how good the therapist is.

Good luck...

Answer 9

Therapists are all different, but most help.

If you don't feel right with a certain psychologist, by all means, stop going to them. As a kid, I saw one who, now that I am older I realize was off his rocker.

However, most good counselors will help by listening to you, and pinpointing certain unhealthy thinking patterns, and will help you recognize them and change. They will give you valuable help that you might not use right away, but a few years later, will help you keep sane when trying to deal with a problem.

It is very good to see one.

Answer 10

No one is perfect. It is very healthy to see a counselor if you have feelings you cannot deal with. You should not feel ashamed to be bettering yourself for your daughter. The happier you are, the happier she will be. You would be surprised to find out how many people have counseling.