2007-02-04 06:07:47 · 13 answers · asked by Angelus 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
MY mother never cleans her apt and it just builds up... is there anything I can do or say...nothing seems to work
2007-02-04 06:08:30 · update #1
I dont live with her and she has been this way for YEARS....
2007-02-04 06:38:11 · update #2
Unfortunatly there is not much you can do except clean it yourself. The problem is that its just going to go back to being the way it was before. You can try and have a maid service come clean it once a week or so. However, she has in some way become accustomed to this lifestyle and refuses to see it any other way. I have the same situation and I live with my mother.
I try to keep the rest of the house clean as much as possible and allow her to keep her room as she wishes. Even though it bugs the hell out of me. If she leaves something where it shouldn't be I give her some time to pick it up. If she still does not then I tell her that she needs to pick this up or put it in its proper place. I also point out to her how horrible everything looks all the time.
She will not change unless she wants to and judging from my own persoanl experience she won't. The other thing you can do is constanlty show her pictures of nice clean and organized spaces and tell her how nice it looks. This won't get her to clean much but it will give her an idea of how you like to live in a clean and organized environment.
2007-02-04 07:44:28 · answer #1 · answered by Inamra 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By the wording of your question I gather that you don't live with her (you say "her apartment") You really can't do much except tell her how you feel. It's pointless for you to go over there and clean it for her because then you're just enabling her. She may need some psychological help - it's possible that she's depressed and just can't get herself together to do the work. Has she always been this way, or is this a recent thing? Does she keep her body clean, or is her personal hygiene suffering too? Sometimes these things are a sign of depression or mental illness. And then again, sometimes people are just lazy and don't want to be bothered to clean up. If she's just lazy, tell her you can't deal with the filth and you won't be visiting with her at home for a while. Maybe this will put a burr under her butt.
2007-02-04 14:22:50 · answer #2 · answered by nana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes parents are super filthy because they don't know any better and have never learned how to keep up an apartment or home. If she has always cleaned well before, my speculation is that:
1) She may be too depressed to clean or she may have such low self-esteem that she just doesn't care anymore. Did anything happen to her around the time she stopped cleaning? See if you can get her to talk about it.
2) Something might be wrong with her physically, but she is afraid to know what it might be and she is afraid to tell you. If she does, she will have to face it.
3) Addictions to prescription drugs, taking too many ~ or the wrong ~ prescription drugs, or using street drugs can all look like depression.
The lack of cleanliness is a symptom, if it isn't just not knowing how to clean, and it doesn't help to mention it to her if you don't address the underlying issue. Whether it's depression, low self-esteem, drug problems of some kind, or a physical illness that makes her too tired to clean, you might need to take action. These are serious issues, which can be life-threatening if your mother has seemed to give up on life. Ask another family member for help, call your mother's therapist (if she has one) and get her to see her doctor. You might need to go with her and talk to the doctor yourself about your concerns. Try not to hide anything from her...let her know you are really concerned...and the steps you are going to take to get her help, if she needs it. Good luck!
2007-02-04 14:52:30 · answer #3 · answered by ~Jazzy~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you live there as well, ask her if you both could spend a day together cleaning things up. If she says no, you do it yourself so it's clean for you or you live with it like it is. If you do not live with your mother, don't worry about it. She has the right to live how she chooses.
2007-02-04 14:11:49 · answer #4 · answered by enjoyrselves 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you could offer to help her, dose she work long hour´s . Some people are just not born to clean , you could suggest to her that the place is in a bit off a mess and lets see how much we can get done in 15 min´s there is a site she might like to look at it´s called Get Organized Now . it´s all about us housewives. how we can & can not get thing´s done .
2007-02-04 14:24:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should offer to help her clean sometimes. My dad needs extra help from me and my sister because he has to work a lot and doesn't have much time to take care of the house.
2007-02-04 14:25:19 · answer #6 · answered by Lucy B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom isn't a slob by no means but when i go up north to see her i usually find something that needs to be cleaned and i usually do it, but that is my upbringing also... Just tell her you will help her clean.
2007-02-04 14:14:51 · answer #7 · answered by Mary O 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you live with her? If so, clean it.
If you don't live with her, then there is nothing you can do unless you give her a gift of a cleaning service for a day...
2007-02-04 14:11:49 · answer #8 · answered by Santa's Elf 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HOPEFULLY YOU AREN'T LLIVING WITH HER!!!! Tell her the house is DISGUSTING AND SHE NEEDS TO CLEAN IT! Stop going over there until she does! and IF YOU HAVE KIDS DON'T LET THEM GO THERE EITHER!!
2007-02-04 14:23:21 · answer #9 · answered by ♥xvioletx1882♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF your mom is HOT,tell her I'll come clean(o:
2007-02-04 14:12:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋