I may be in a unique situation here, so here it goes. I have had feelings for one of my best friends for quite a while but she was in a relationship for 5 or 6 years with a kid. Recently she broke up and it was a relatively bitter break up so i was giving her space and not jumping at the chance so as not to be a rebound guy. However, one of her other friends, apparently didn't feel the same way and is trying to hook up with her. She tells me constantly that she is kinda interested in him but isn't ready yet for a relationship and he does occasionally get on her nerves. Nevertheless you can really feel something (or maybe its just me) and I am worried that if i don't act at this inopportune moment that i may lose my chance. At the same time i don't want to damage my good friendship, I don't have to many great friendships most are just backstabbers so i don't confide too deeply in them. What should I do? Any advice??????????????????
2007-02-04 05:17:26 · 22 answers · asked by Lost...i think 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I can never understand that whenever a relationship is in trouble or it ends, there is always someone like you lurking around. Do people like you just wait for it to happen because you can't have a relationship any other way? If you do it to others, it will happen to you. You should be ashamed of yourself and if have any dignity, choose to be her friend only.
2007-02-04 05:38:36 · answer #1 · answered by thecharmedfive 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a situation that must be handled delicately. She is not aware of your feelings and she had no reason to inquire. You have been really princely about her. She also confides in you. You can tell her that you have had deep feelings for her for some time, but said nothing because to have done so would have been inconsiderate. She was involved. You can pose to her this question: we have a beautiful friendship, but would it be so wrong to love you? Make sure that you acknowledge the space that she needs and like always will be there for her. Next week buy her a dozen roses for Valentine's Day.
2007-02-04 13:35:30 · answer #2 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes honesty is the best policy.
How about being honest with her -- very casually in a conversation?
Why don't you say, "You know, I really value your friendship...but I also find I am very attracted to you, too." You can break the seriousness of the conversation by saying "Do you want to be my date tonight and go see
See how she responds. You might get a big surprise!! And a good one at that.
And if she rejects you -- you'll know it right away -- and can go back to your focus of being a good friend and just act like it was all in good fun and nothing serious -- because it doesn't have to be serious. Does it?
Have fun, relax and go for it.
As I always say, you can't win the lottery unless you play!
Eyes
2007-02-04 13:24:12 · answer #3 · answered by Eyes 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK, maybe u should try to tell that guy off, and just say that she isn't ready for u yet, and it may take a while for him to understand. Keep being her freind, do amazing stuff for her, like take her ice skating to get her mind off him, or Bowling. Something that will have her woundering about "why is he doing all this for me, does he like me , i think i may like him"! and not worry about the other, guy, and also be the bigger man!! Don't be afraid to satnd up for what u think is right.
2007-02-04 13:25:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since she said she is not ready for a real relationship, you should continue to be friends with her but maybe send cards and flowers, etc. (please do not overdo this) and sign it "Your Secret Admirer". (Keep the receipts so no one else can claim he sent them. (smile) ) Then when she is ready for a relationship again, you can reveal that they came from you. If she does not want a romance with you, you can bow out gracefully by saying that you were just trying to cheer her up. And if she does decide to enter a romantic relationship with you - Wallah - you will look even better in her eyes. And in the meantime, keep steering her away from that guy who is making the moves on her. Good luck.
2007-02-04 13:24:03 · answer #5 · answered by Orion777 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her you would like to date her and see if there is a possibility that the two of you could have something besides just a great friendship, if she wants to then you have nothing to loose, but if she doesn't then it will be up to you to keep it from becoming awkward.
2007-02-04 13:22:55 · answer #6 · answered by preshus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in order to not lose your chance with her, tell her how you feel. but also, just stay friends for now, until she is ready for a relationship. that way, if she feels the same way about you, she knows that you'll be waiting for her and she wont go off taking random chances with others.
2007-02-04 13:27:19 · answer #7 · answered by sprklngdimundz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all dont assume anything mabye shes rebounding faster maybe not, but, you got a chance, just try and play your cards right, you deffenetly want whats best for her, so youve got the upper hand already. let her know how you feel straight up and mature, no bull sh*t.
2007-02-12 10:05:14 · answer #8 · answered by Joe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold your position. This guy will irritate her and then it'll be your chance. Maybe start moving in slowwwwwwwly. Just don't push too hard and don't slip into the friend zone.
2007-02-04 13:21:10 · answer #9 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sit and talk to her. Explain your feelings, and your respect to her if she's not ready for a relationship. Find out how she feels, and decide on that.
2007-02-04 13:21:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋