How can you kiss somebody good-bye without hurting too much?

Question

I want to split with my girlfriend of two years as this isn't working for me anymore (I'm 24 years). There's something in me that prevents from getting an interest in raising a family. When I was initially drawn to her, it just happened over what I felt was "mutual attraction". But, over a period of time, the novelty has worn off and the main issue, I want to avoid the huge expenses that come with starting a family of your own. To end my imbroglio, I took a lone vacation to Thailand this year-end and was more than happy with the enormous "flavor" that life has to offer when you're not in a relationship with somebody.

I've made up my mind to call the shots now, but I just wish to avoid the DRAMATIC consequences and the guilt pangs that could ensue after a split happens. I would like the thing to happen instantaneously so as to cause minimum grief to her - like I thought to put a Good-bye letter on her bedside, asking her never to contact me again. Is that a good idea?

Answer 1

give me her number after you that....

Answer 2

wow..u seem very selfish and heartless. Thats a horrible way to break it off...she will be absolutely heart broken especially if shes not expecting it. You say u dont want the cost and responsibility that comes with a family...do u mean never? or just not now..because if thats the main reason..im sure if u explained ur feelings to her, then she would wait if she loves u. but if ur reason is mainly because u wanna live the single life then ur just an a** and a ver y selfish person. u want to walk away and feel no pain or guilt..thats not gonna happen. and if u think anything u'll do will cause her "minimum grief" YOUR WRONG. u should try learning how to be a real man

Answer 3

Uhmm, first of all, let me tell you, you're 24 years old, and you're sooooo immature.... you dont even know how to break up with her? jeez. You havent mentioned anything about your love for her.. whether it exists or it did, so if there was never love then why r u still with her... the longer you wait the more it will hurt, and please.... please dont write her a note and then pooff dissappear from her life, that will just make her hate you so much... and honestly you would be acting like a jerk... no offense to you. Take her to some place where its private.. and tell her how you feel, tell her you want to move on with your life and you dont feel like your ready to be committed... obviously she will be mad, or start crying... in that case you have to be strong and not change your mind because you feel sorry, if youre going to change your mind do it cuz u love her.... after that, stand up or w.e kiss her on the cheek and leave... it'd be better if you guys take a break from talking till she cools off. you dont wanna have her crying on the phone every day... do u?

Answer 4

Please....no Dear Jane letter. That is the cruelist thing you could do. If she is even a little intuitive, she probably already knows that things are not as they should be. Just be frank and tell her that you just aren't ready to settle down just yet and that it would not be fair to her to continue the relationship as it is now. If she tries to convince you otherwise...simply say...Look, I'm sorry that this is hurting you but it is better than you being hurt a lot more later. Good luck. Please....again...no notes. Be the man.

Answer 5

The good bye letter is chicken chit.
Just meet her some place with no distractions and explain to her that you want to move on. Maybe tell her that you're sorry but you need a lot of time to yourself to re-group and that you wish not to be contacted.

There will always be some degree of drama in dealing with anything. Just be tactful but yet assertive. She'll get over it.

Answer 6

That is a TERRIBLE idea! Why don't you just rip her heart out of her chest and hand it to her? It would have the same effect.

Good for you that you figured out that this isn't the person for you. However, you have to be a man and speak to her about your feelings. You owe this to yourself and to her. She deserves to hear the truth from your lips.

It is going to be hard. There are going to be tears. You still have to be there and give her the respect that she deserves. You were not alone in this relationship, so you have to let her have a say in the split. Hear her out. If you care for one another, perhaps one day you will be friends. Isn't that better than destroying someone???

Good Luck.

Answer 7

HELL NO come on just because you are having growing pains you don't have to hurt someone.just to get what you want.if it is not working out any more you do not have to make it any painful than it is going to be are you worried of her feelings or how to make it easier on you?you still can be human about this. tell the truth be honest with her tell her she is not at fault GOD just did not have it in his will for you to be together right now but who knows what God has planned? you do not need to be a jerk keep her feelings in mind. you still care just differently . she can em me good luck in your new beggings

Answer 8

U can kiss somebody goodbye without it hurtin by lettin urself know that u r sayin goodbye to better urself and the person life for the near future.

Answer 9

No, make sure you have your own place and have paid your share of the bills for a couple of months, you need to give some notice.
Tell her face to face and why, just be nice about it.

Answer 10

Once a man told me when saying goodbye. (in writing) "You deserve a stronger more confident man to fullfill your needs" He put it on himself to soften the loss. I'll always be grateful to him for doing this for me. )

Maybe you can use this kind of compassion when telling her you are not ready to settle down? Good luck. : )

Answer 11

Be a MAN and sit her down and tell her the things that you said in your question! When she sees that you are immature and not ready to grow up she will move on!