I'm 18 wks pregnant by my boyfriend who until the mid Jan lived with me. We broke up then because he wasnt coming home or calling at night and was having a sexual TM relationship with some young girl. Like a fool I took him back, he said he loved me-sort of blamed his behavior on me which he always does, says it's because I dont communicate with him which is bull. So hes with his mom and dad now and sees me only when he has nothing better to do. He will say hes not feeling well, staying home whatever. He goes out, For anyone who's ever been cheated on you know it. There are loads of signs. Tues I know for a fact he was cheating on me. Last night he was pulling his staying in stuff and I basically told him I was tired of him making me feel bad, dont know why hes with me and i feel like a toy. He responds with of course you assume the worst&I make HIM feel bad.What do I say to him next time I see him to avoid having this blamed on me. I am not at fault that he's a cheater and a liar!
2007-02-04 04:10:00 · 7 answers · asked by alexandria1_1999 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I just wanted to add that he lies about everything all the time from saying he's at work to what he ate that day. He doens't only lie to me it's everyone all the time. He has no ablility to take responsiblity for his actions and I don't want our problems blamed on me anymore. How do I make him take responsility for what he does? His bad behavior is not my fault or caused by anyone but him.
2007-02-04 04:12:07 · update #1
I went through this exact situation..I didn't know there could be two people in this world the same. Your best option is to listen to your instincts and cut your losses while you can. You can never make him be honest, or love you the way you need to be loved, NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY. He's definitely not mature enough to be in a relationship of this magnitude.
The situation will only get worse if you try to hang on to someone that doesn't know how or want to be in a committed relationship. The emotional pain will only increase and your self esteem will take a nose-dive so that you really do start to believe it's your fault (which it definitely ISN'T) and the child will ultimately be the one in the middle who gets hurt with all the anger, resentment, arguing, mistrust and mistreatment going on around him. You don't want to send a message to the child that this is how a relationship works, because that is what they will learn.
It's very unlikely he will change especially without some type of counselling (even if he says he will), because he doesn't understand the fundamentals of a mature and honest relationship. Staying with someone like this will only prolong a break-up down the road when the child is older (which gets emotionally harder on them the more they understand).
I wish I would have listened to this advice in the beginning, but now I am starting all over again 6 years later and kicking myself for having waited this long, all the while putting myself through the emotional roller-coaster of mistrust I went through. It's no way to live. You and that child deserve way better then that.
2007-02-04 04:48:21 · answer #1 · answered by canadian_chick0678 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Say this: You can turn it around on me as often as you like, but the truth is(which you don't know anything about truth) is that you are a compulsive liar and take no responsibility for anything, including yourself. I am done crying after you as you are not worth my time. I will call you after the baby is born so you can sign for the child support. But I doubt you will even be there for the baby. Have a nice life being so selfish-goodbye! How is that? I am sorry that he is such a screw up. Be strong and positive for yourself and your baby. He is not worth getting upset over now. Wait until after the baby and then let him have it. Get your self respect in order and do what has to be done. You did nothing wrong. Don't let him say otherwise. Good luck.
2007-02-04 04:21:50 · answer #2 · answered by looloo1122 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I won't go easy on you, or sugar coat anything here.
Questions. If you knew he was unfaithful to you for all this time, why did you lay down with him, and conceive an Innocent Party? Don't you know you're putting yourself at risk for diseases as well? You say he lies to you and others as if it was breathing. How could you approve of this behavior? You can say that you don't, but the fact of the matter is, you do approve. Proof is that you took him back, knowing who and what he is. How can you expect him to take care of your unborn child when he's not being truthful and faithful to you? Not only is he doing damage to your child, but you are about to do it as well, by exposing your child to him in less than 5 months. He's broken your heart often, and that only means one thing: He will do the exact same thing to your baby OFTEN. He may say, "I'll be there to take our child out," but really means, "I'm too busy to do anything for the baby," or even worse, "That's not my child." Believe me, I've been and still am on that boat with my "Sperm Donor." Have you ever thought about that? He could very well deny your Innocent Party, and that's another battle you will have to have with him that will only end with a DNA test. Do you want to put yourself through this?
I hate to say it, but it's too late to back out. Too many parties are involved, and too many parties will get hurt. The only thing I can say is, get the DNA test and if it is proven that he is in fact the father, find a lawyer and hit him hard for Child Support.
2007-02-04 04:27:50 · answer #3 · answered by Andrew B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well ur boyfriend is a worthless peice of ****.leave him.ur life will b teribble if u stay with him. n y do u wan 2 put an innocent child in his hands.ask him to get lost n think bout ur future.if u can bring up this child alone thn keep the pregnancy.if u cant get an abortion n learn to have safe sex next time.no need to bring grieve to the child from the moment it comes into this world.take my advice,2 of my frens hv children out of wedlock n cheating boyfriends n get no help from them.think about ur future n ur family....it would be hard 2 get an abortion but worse to bring up a kid alone
2007-02-04 04:26:25 · answer #4 · answered by shzp 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U need to get prepare to be single parent and take that low life to court.
2007-02-04 04:20:11 · answer #5 · answered by Cherelle M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are only hanging on to him because your pregnant if you werent you would probably have moved on by now, get rid of him
2007-02-04 04:16:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to leave his ***...don't let him treat you like that...it'll only make it much harder to leave when you're married..
2007-02-04 04:16:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋