overconfident?

Question

My 4 year daughter insists that she's right about everything. She's not disrespectful about it, but even after explaining that I her mother have lived 37 years and I know a thing or two she absolutely insists that she is right. I see how this confidence geared in the right direction could be very valuable but I also see a lot of complications in the future.
Is this normal for a 4 year old first of all (I thought only teenagers think they know everything)
What should be my next approach?

Answer 1

I read an article on this a while back in Parents magazine. Here is the article. Hope this helps.


Little Know-It-All
A few years ago, your child constantly asked you "Why?" Now he's telling you what's what. Here's how to respond when he thinks he has all the answers.
By Vicky Mlyniec

Matthew Dupree, 6, is always correcting his mom. Whether it's what a word means or how a fish breathes, he thinks he knows it all. "Of course he's mistaken 75 percent of the time," says his mother, Janet, of Half Moon Bay, California. "But when he's right and I'm wrong, he doesn't let me live it down."

Although it's exciting when a school-age child begins to absorb information, it's less thrilling when he assumes he's the fountain of knowledge. Kids this age think they know everything: They'll tell you which baseball teams are really headed to the playoffs or why you are mistaken about the board-game rules.

Take heart: Your child's skepticism about your version of the facts is a good thingWhen a child questions you, it's a vital step toward developing her own unique identity and set of beliefs, says Elisa Medhus, M.D., author of Raising Children Who Think for Themselves. "A child with a strong sense of herself won't blindly accept what she hears from peers, the media, or pop culture," Dr. Medhus explains.

While it's important to celebrate your child's desire to have all the answers, you also need to encourage him to get them right. "Parents should ask questions that challenge kids to think further, not turn them off by telling them, 'That's wrong,' " says Barbara Polland, Ph.D., author of No Directions on the Package: Questions and Answers for Parents With Children From Birth to Age 12.

Here are ways to respond to know-it-all behavior so that you encourage your child's curiosity without condoning a twisted version of the facts or a disrespectful attitude.

Your child insists, "It's the heart that tells the muscles what to do"—a bogus scientific concept cobbled together from bits of PBS shows and his own imagination.

When information is too complex for a child, he'll often come up with a version of "facts" that makes sense to him. Ignore the erroneous parts and concentrate on his enthusiasm. You might say, for example, "The heart is really interesting. We have a book about how the human body works. I'll go get it, and let's see what we can find out." This way, he can get the right information without being shamed.

Your little naysayer insists you're wrong when you say electricity and water are a dangerous combination. "That's not true," she tells you. "Haven't you ever heard about electric eels?"

Whenever misinformation involves a safety issue, set the record straight right away. Saying, "No, that's wrong!" may make your child dig in her heels for a debate. Instead, Dr. Polland suggests, try, "Wow, it's really scary to hear you say that." When she asks, "Why?" you'll have her attention and you can explain the danger in terms she can understand.

At dinner, you tell your son to eat his vegetables because they're good for him. "I don't believe you," he says. "You made that up."

Whether your child truly thinks you're bluffing or he's just looking for an excuse to avoid eating his vegetables, ask him to grab a pencil and paper and write a reminder so you can look it up together later. Chances are good your child will decide he'd rather watch television after dinner than research a carrot's nutritional content.

Your child always has a know-it-all attitude after watching a particular TV show or spending time with a certain friend.

Watch the show with her; compliment the parts you like and comment on the parts you don't, such as by saying, "Did you notice how she put her friend down?" Tell your child, "That's not how we treat each other in this house, so we need to make a pact that you don't use the kind of behavior you see on that show. If you do, you won't be able to watch it anymore." If she mimics a friend's disrespectful know-it-all behavior, say, "Gee, every time you play with Olivia, you start rolling your eyes and contradicting me. Can you stop yourself when you feel like acting that way, or should you take a break from spending time with her?"

Your little scientist chides you for your lack of knowledge by saying, "The sky is blue because it reflects the ocean. Didn't you know that?"

Okay, so you know that's not right, but you also don't have the explanation. So it's fine to say, "There are lots of things I've wondered about that I'd like to find out, like why the sky turns so many colors." This shows your child that everyone has things to learn. "As parents, we have to stick our noses in encyclopedias, search through dictionaries, surf the Internet, and visit the library to help our kids' quest for knowledge," Dr. Medhus says. Just be sure your child knows that while it's okay to ask questions or disagree with you, it's not okay to do so disrespectfully.

Copyright© 2005. Reprinted with permission from the June 2005 issue of Parents magazine.

Answer 2

Yes very normal especially for a 4 yr old girl. She's just learning her independence and really does think she knows everything. Kind of funny at times, but this will pass, just a phase. soon she'll realize that you do know what your talking about, then she'll be asking you none stop questions, and may even believe everything you say. Mine was like that, she's 13 now and still my word is like god to her. For now just let her believe she's right, and when she's a little older she will see that mommy knows something sometimes. Don't correct her too much, as this could lower her self confidence, this is a very important stage for young children, and the more confidence they can have in them selves the better. Good luck, may your patience be with you .( he-he)

Answer 3

That is perfectly normal for a four year old. It is just a phase because she is learning to be independent and realizes she has her own mind. She will grow out of it in due time.

As for starting school with those ideas, the teachers are used to it and will help her to learn what is appropriate and what is not.

Answer 4

point out to her using facts, how she is wrong. Her over confidence might not be a good thing, she could be trying to make up for low self esteem. Plus this attitude is going to make it hard for her to meet and keep friends when she goes to school next year.

Answer 5

Talk to her, not yet, but when she can sort of understand what your syaing (6or7yrs old). Explain how nobody's perfect

Answer 6

just tell her nice people dont say "told you so"