When you are in love do you see flaws in your mate?
My boyfriend mentioned to me the other day that I have acne and if my hair was real. He also pointed out that my right eye was bigger than the left. When he asked of his flaws and said I did not see any. I don't think he was trying to be mean but I dont know. I told him that my last boyfriend said he cheated on me be the other woman did not have skin like mine. He said that I should be more witty and funny because he says that I only talk about a limited number of things? I feel like he is comparing me to something and it made me feel bad even though I don't think he was trying to hurt my feelings. Why did he say these things? What does it mean when they say these kinds of things?
2007-02-04 03:55:05 · 9 answers · asked by EVADIVA 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He sounds like a jerk.
My boyfriend and I would point out the little things we did wrong; shuffling one's feet during a class presentation, bragging about something silly, being incredibly loud in public, etc.
But it was always something that we could work on to make ourselves better. It was always positive criticism.
What your boyfriend is doing is cruel. He's making you feel worse about yourself.
Tell him how you feel, how you can't change the size of your eyes, how you have trouble with your skin.
Tell him that everyone has flaws and the only reason you don't point his out is because you care for him.
Hopefully he'll get the message and try to be more compassionate.
And go out and get some self-esteem!
Go to your doctor or the cosmetics counter at the mall to get tips on handling your acne.
Go to the hairdresser and ask for suggestion about a cut that would make you look absolutely adorable.
Different ways of applying make-up can help even out your features.
But just make sure that you're going it for yourself, for your self-confidence, and not for your guy.
You should be happy with who you are!
2007-02-04 04:02:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well not everyone is perfect and there are plenty of women with acne, so what is his problem? He is comparing you to someone, and under people's like him, their standards are impossible. There's someone out there that loves your acne, it creates character. The fact that he would even bring something like that up, something you can't help makes me think he is a little rude not to mention it seems like he did it to hurt your feelings. Maybe the acne has always bothered him, and that's why he asked you do you see any flaws in him to make a way to bring up your imperfections. He's trying to change who you are. Everything that makes you an individual. The way you are right now is the way you've always been why change that for a man who may not even be with you for long? He really isn't worth it. My boyfriend isn't perfect, I'm not perfect. Physically I think he's beautiful, but personality wise we're both very stubborn. The guy that's meant for you is going to love the way you look and your personality just the way you are. Your "now" boyfriend seems like a real tool. Lose him. You're wasting your time. Good luck sweetie!
2007-02-04 12:01:25 · answer #2 · answered by April 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how that feels and honestly, you should do whatever your heart tells you but in my opinion he if this hurts you, you should tell him what you feel and NEVER EVER hold back in a relationship, because that is the WORST thing you can do. A relationship is something that can make you a better person or destroy you, and if this is starting out hurting you its a good idea to talk about it and dont be afraid to say things you might think are mean, in a nutshell MEN LOVE BITCHES. Be a strong woman and tell him hes a mean prick to you and if he doesnt stop he can find another woman to say mean things to.
2007-02-04 12:03:52 · answer #3 · answered by Curiosa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is such a thing as being TOO honest! Let him know that these sort of comments hurt you or make you feel sad.
I am in love and my fella is certainly not perfect, I am aware of his flaws, but would never bring them up - they are his insecurities and by bringing them up, it shows a lack of respect.
He needs to be told that this is not acceptable, you deserve to have someone who praises and appreciates you, not someone who throws these comments at you.
2007-02-04 12:04:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they just "notice" things then i suppose that it is OK but it seems that these guys are just running you down. You may want to think of why you are attracted to that type to begin with. Accept who you are and move on. You already seem sensitive and caring. I bet you have a lot of great qualities and you will find someone who will appreciate everything you have to offer.
2007-02-04 12:00:52 · answer #5 · answered by Cassidy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is not happy with your looks then he will not be a good mate for you. You should dump the shallow jerk and spend some time to find someone who does like you for you and does not want to change you.
2007-02-04 12:38:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES all the time. HE points out mine too. WE have a great time doing it. Its call fault finding.
2007-02-04 11:57:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. My beau is peret. Thats mean if you tell someone you love whatsrong with them.
2007-02-04 12:02:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's shallow and he wants a challange so give him one.
2007-02-04 11:59:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋