How do you stop a 12yr old from calling her mom names?

Question

My daughter tells me to shut up at times,
other times she'll call be stupid or idiot.
I don't know how to handle this, I've been
trying to ignore it but it's starting to get to me.

What should I do?

Answer 1

Well I bet it will stop if you cut all her privileges and hey ground her in her room. Also take away phones, computers, cells, and anything she likes. and tell her when she starts to respect you and others she will get some of her stuff back. One thing where is Dad he should be involved in this too. ANd sorry to say this but where did she get this way from, her friends, or that's the way your husband talks to you, too. But you need to stop it now before it gets worse and you won't be able to do nothing about it. And if you can afford it take her to a discipline school, She will hate you for a while but will get over it. SO do something right now or suffer later. Also need to check her room, hope not but you might find something you don't wnat to find.

Answer 2

Calmly tell her it will not be tolerated any longer. Tell her you love her and respect her, and that you deserve to be treated better than this. Let her know that privileges will be taken away if she does do it again, and then follow through with it. Or something else I used to use on my boys was pretending to acknowledge what they've said by just stopping what I did for them. When she has no clean clothes...respond by saying..."oh, jeez, I'm too stupid to do laundry". When dinner isn't made...."I'm such idiot, I forgot how to cook!" When she tells you to "shut up"...really shut up...and don't answer or acknowledge anything she has to say. Sooner or later she will ask a question, and you can say "I'm shutting up...don't you remember?" Or if they called me a name, I would state that I love them, and I would never call them a name like that. If they said they hated me, I always responded with a calm "I love you". She will continue to talk to you this way as long as you allow it, hopefully you can get a handle it now before it escalates.

Answer 3

Take her to a little tour to juveline prison to give her an idea of what her nasty behaviour will make her end up..You cant ignore it, shes 12, imagine when she tarts high school it be worse if you dont stop her now..Talk to a specilist on this issue and come up with a plan to help your daughter out..Dont ever hit her, i can´t believe some ppl even suggest that. You will never get nothig solve by hitting her.If you dont stop her disprespecting her now she will be way out of control. Ground her..Take away her privilages like cell, tv, computer, going out..Good luck.

Answer 4

Ingnoreing it was your first mistake.She will keep doing it if she thinks there aren't any consequences behind it. You have to tell her to go to her room if she calls u a name.If she doesn't go to her room then u tell her she is either grounded or take away one of her privledges.If u start doing this it will take time but once she sees that u are going to do this everytime she disrespects u then she will think before she does it.You have to do this everytime she calls u something.You can't let her get away with it.Not even one time.If u do then all your hard work will go down the drain and you'll have to start over.Most likely she will be grounded for along time and all her privledges will be gone before she gets it.Just don't tell her she is off groundment.Stick to your guns if u want this to work.Good luck From,someone who works with child.

Answer 5

Ignoring her was your first mistake, she did it and you did nothing so she thinks she can do what ever she wants to now. Get some back bone are you her mother or a mouse.

Time for some tough love. go to her and tell her she is grounded for calling you names and treating you like crap. no phone, no tv, no computor, school and home that is it.

Take off her door, then she can not slam it on you. when she starts to behave she can have it back.

if you have to and you might to get you point across to her that you are mom and the authority figure in the home, you might have to slap her right on that nasty little mouth of hers.
tell you are sorry you did not do it the first time she mouthed off.

Answer 6

I take it your daughter still has her teeth.If you give her everything like video games, cell phone, telephone, TV, allowance,take all that away, she can only go to school and back home, punish her for a month, make her clean windows,clean out cabinets,closets,drawers,garage, and what ever you can think of. If all else fells stick a bar of soap in her mouth, that worked for me when my daughter said a curse word.

Answer 7

Start being the parent....Tell you will no longer tolerate being disrespected. For each time she says one of those things, you punish her. Ie: "okay, now you will be grounded from going anywhere this next week."....then, "Now, you will no longer get to use the telephone." disconnect telephones around the house....then, "You have lost your computer privilleges.", take her computer away. Make it hard for her...eventually she'll get the message. You need to nip her in the bud before the teenage years really get between you and her.

Answer 8

Grow a pair and slap the snot out of that kid. And the law IS on your side! And she is old enough to recieve some tough love.

She's a typical spoiled little ***** who needs some discipline!

Don't put up with that crap anymore...that needs to be corrected immediately!!!

Lets meet and I'll babysit her for you for a couple weeks...if you don't mind her having a shaved head. :) I'll shave her head! I swear to god I will! ***LOL***

By the way? Where is this girl's FATHER????

Answer 9

Lots of good Answers! I'd like to add that that's the age where breaking away from Mom starts in earnest!! My daughter started making fun of me in front of her friends--often as I was transporting them to a game or something. I thought I was being "understanding" of her age, but then realized it was damaging to everyone to let her get away with that. She was developing a nasty, smart-alecky attitude with everybody! I also realized that she needed me to be strong enough that she could go against stronger peers who pushed her to be that way! Unfortunately, it took the police finding my daughter and her friend drunk and took them to the station. They were both 14. It was like a "kick-in-the-belly" for me, as I had NO IDEA that they were into all of that! But it goes hand in hand. I stood up to be a MOM, grounded her with "strict grounding"; "medium-groundings", and "light-grounds" for various unacceptable behrs. She threatened to go live with her father and step-mother whom she was going to visit. I held on to my fear; calmly said that that would make me sad, but that if they said "yes", that would be her choice. I bid her goodbye and cried! Mid-week I got a call from her--"Mom, can I come home early? I'm bored!" I worked, so of course, couldn't--BUT I wouldn't have gone anyway. She was safe and in no danger. When she came home, I talked calmly that I didn't like being made fun of and if she chooses to do so, I'll make a U-turn back home and they could find their own transportation. But it took action to make my point. I was driving her and her friend to a game; she made a "funny" remark about me; I WORDLESSLY made a U-turn and she realized with panic what had happened. "I was just kidding!!" etc. When we got home they moped around and never found a ride to the game. That was the last time I ever heard that kind of "kidding". Some months later of grounded-ness, I heard her talking on the phone to one of her friends. She kind of whispered and then said, "OK, I'll ask.. MOM, can I go over to Shelley's to study?" All the while shaking her head "NOOO!" I got a tough voice and said, "You KNOW you're GROUNDED!" She told the friend and then whispered, "Oh NO! She'd KILL me!" After the phone call, she told me that the friend was trying to get her to sneak out of the house that night!!!
I really realized then that I had to be TOUGH enough to give her the excuse and power to say NO to acting-out friends From then on, I always took her out to lunch once a week and we had the BEST talks!! I said, "Thank goodness that your trouble was bad enough to get my attention without you getting really HURT!" She laughed and said, "ME, TOO! It really got MY attention!" Later, we learned that both her friend and her older sister were in a psych hospital... I kept the lines firm and her Sophmore year was fabulous!! Great grades and at Open House, her teachers would smile and shake my hand and tell me how great she's doing and what a terrific young woman. My daughter got a summer job, then and really did a good job--saved her money and bought her own clothes. She stuck to the rules and as she handled new freedom well, I helped her buy a good used car to drive to school and then to work. She knew that she had to stick with the rules--NO friends in the car; use the car just for school and work and NEVER any drinking!! She knew that I'd take the car from her if she did!---She's a terrific young woman now; a great mother and does the same limit setting. My Grandkids are TERRIFIC and my son-in-law is really a good man!!
HAVE THE COURAGE TO BE A MOM!!! Don't get angry when setting limits/consequences as that gives all your power away to her!! AND don't be MANIPULATED by HER anger!! HOLD FIRM! Be loving AND FIRM--they are NOT incompatible!!
You can do it!! FOR HER SAKE!!

Answer 10

you should sit down and tell her "you might think it's cool and funny sometimes when you call me names but just because i am an adult do you think my feelings can't be hurt to. And sometimes i probably do stuff that makes you mad sometimes but that does not give you the right to call me names"Tell her that. If that does not work then start giving her the consequences she diserves!!!