I met a 25 yo guy at a bar/club 3 weeks ago. I look like 27-28, but I am 35 and he told me that age is just a number. We went on 4th date last Sunday and we cooked together. I had a great time. We didn't sleep together, but I stayed over his place. I'm out of a long-term relationship 4 mo ago, and I wanted to take it slow. In fact I became to like him a lot and I was scared to get involved with someone who could hurt me. When he asked me what I was looking for, I told him that I want to get married in 3-4 years and start family, then he told me he is not looking get married over the next 10 years. Do you think my comment pushed him away? I called him twice on Tuesday but he hasn't return my calls. I feel like I should have just told him that I am just looking for fun, since I don't even know how long I stay in this country. We are supporsed to go to this event together on this Tuesday. Shall I text him to ask if he is still up for it? Or shall I wait until he calls? What do you think?
2007-02-04 03:33:28 · 25 answers · asked by summercat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
dont text him, you'll look bad, a guy will be a guy, he needs to be doing the chasing, if you make it too easy, you wont be challenging enough. a guy loves a good challenge. you have to make it harder for him. if he doesn't call back ever, hes not worth it..
wish you the best of luck.
2007-02-04 03:38:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm going to be straight-forward and honest with you. I'm a 32 year old male and have been dating since I was 15. When I state this it strictly out personal experiences(my own and others around me). When you have relationship with the male being around 10 years younger 99% of time he is experimenting and in his eyes everything is purely lust. A female counterpart gets caught up into this and starts to hope that maybe this can work (with women being more emotional than men). To him you are a challenge and once he has gotten what he wants, sex, experience, in some cases money, or it could be just the company of a beautiful woman, then it is time for him to move on, and this may not be such a bad thing for you also if you have no expectations of "forever and ever" but that seldom occurs. its all fun and games until some1 catches feelings and gets their heart broken. I would text him and put something like " When you touch me my body trembles in ecstasy." and leave it will that. No hi's no hello's just that. Less is more, watch him call you begging to come over and wanting to take you out asap. Just my thoughts as a guy in similar positions.
2007-02-04 04:01:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, i hate to admit it, but yes, things like that do tend to scare some guys away... they prefer to be in serious relationships with a "get out of jail free card", if you know what i mean... Some guys enjoy independence... so yes, its a possibility that that scared him away.
But at the same time... He should be happy that you're looking for a serious commitment and not just a short-term relationship. Its difficult to find people like you nowadays. So whatever the outcome, remember its NOT your fault if he doesn't contact you again.
As or the text thing, maybe you should just text him, ask him why he isn't returning your calls, and if you're still on, and if he doesn't reply, then move on... you dont need childish games in your life...
Good luck sweetie!
2007-02-04 03:48:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anfieldgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup, you spooked him. OK, here's your lesson for the day: 3 weeks in is too soon to lay out your 5-year plan. He read blitz. Ask a football fan to explain that to you. He saw a woman with a biological time bomb.
Now, don't back burner your goals, what YOU want in life is important. Just work at finding the right guy and your future will unfold before you. Have a little faith.
Look at this as a learning experience. You know that this guy is skittish and his goals don't mesh with yours. Throw him back into the lake and fish elsewhere.
Find a guy in the circles of friends of people in your circle of friends who seems to get along well with nephews and nieces. He's the guy who is probably more ready to settle down and make babies. He might stand out if you set your radar for a guy who is a kid at heart, not immature but with an appreciation for innocence. He's the guy who babysits for his in-laws and will go to the movies to see something animated using his nephews as an excuse to go.
Find a guy with a little biological clock running as well. Don't try to make a guy ready, that's a recipe for heartache.
Good luck
2007-02-04 03:53:26 · answer #4 · answered by lmcbuilder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't want the same things, so why do you care if you scared him away or not. His response is healthy: he doesn't want to get married for at least 10 years, you want to get married in 3-4 years, this isn't going to work, and he's going to hurt you, so leave the poor woman alone. He might not be that nobel, and it may have been fear operating at an instinctual level, but his actions were appropriate considering this major difference in life goals.
Maybe you should try dating a "man".
2007-02-04 03:42:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would call him and ask him whats up. You know hes wasting your time you could be finding that guy that wants to marry in 3-4 years and start that beautiful family. There are more guys out there so tell him you want to know the deal but dont sweat it either.
2007-02-04 03:39:39 · answer #6 · answered by Jasmine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call him and leave a message, ask him about the event,
and tell him that what you said "was what you were hoping for", and it may have came out the wrong way., and yeah mentioning something like that just after 3weeks does put a spin on things.
BUT if he really likes you maybe he just needed a little time. If it don't work out and he never calls, trying going to church, listen and learn... Churches sometimes have SINGLES GROUPS,
2007-02-04 03:42:30 · answer #7 · answered by kevferg64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would get a hold of him and find out if he's going and if he doesn't answer and had already agreed, well that tells you what kind of man he is, one who's word isn't worth nothing. But if he's a man he will go. And when your there have a good time and after when you'll going him talk with him and find out what happened. And tell him you were honest and maybe if everything goes well with him and you. You are willing to wait for him
2007-02-04 03:41:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you might have scared him away.
In any case, don't you want someone that has the same ambitions as you do, to start and raise a family?
Ask him if he's still up for the event you two planned on attending together.
If he doesn't respond, perhaps it's best to let it go.
If he says "yes," just make it clear to him that you don't plan on forcing him into that level of commitment.
Good luck!
2007-02-04 03:40:22 · answer #9 · answered by Kit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that it's only right to be honest and if he isnt willing to settle down for 10years than thats no good for you as it will be very hard for you to get pregnant at 45 and a high chance that the baby will be down syndrome. I think you should leave it this guy was probabally only after a fling, and it seems like you were growing to really like him, in the long run he would have ended up hurting you. at least now you know were you stand instead of trying to fool yourself. better to move on and find someone who will love you and want to settle down with you. hope this helps
2007-02-04 03:41:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm guessing the fact that he knows you want to get married may be working against you. At least he was honest about what he wants. Still, there is no reason you can't have fun together.
2007-02-04 03:52:43 · answer #11 · answered by J D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋